BOOM!!! Goes The China Airlines Plane!

Yikes!



Miraculously, no one was killed. Read more about it here.

If You Remember The Atari 2600, You'll Appreciate This

Relive the days when videogame controllers had one knob/stick and one button with whatever image you want with this handy label maker. Here's one I made:



Such fun on a Friday night.

Sweet Sweetwater.

With the rise of e-commerce and shopping on teh Intarwebs, the idea of customer service has gone the way of having people come out and pump your gas, check the oil and wash your windows. We click and shop impersonally, finding the best deals, tapping in our credit card info and waiting for the FedEx/UPS/DHL guy to drop it off at the ranch.

I wanted to pick up the new Tracktion 3 recording software and since it was about the same price all around, decided to by from Sweetwater.com, a big-name pro audio outfit that occasionally sent me catalogs. I signed up for some newsletter and catalogs and was surprised to get a personalized note from a HUMAN BEING asking if I was looking to buy anything. I had a couple of queries and they answered them.

Now, I could've just gone to the site and punched in the usual stuff, but decided to call the toll-free number and talk to this bloke. When I mentioned how I was surprised at the personal touch, he said that they wanted to have customers dealing with their own personal rep. He mentioned that he used to run a studio and that if I had any questions about using my purchase to give them a call.

Sure, they'll try to sell me some stuff, but isn't that what sales people are there for? The difference is that they seem to know their stuff and were nice. I once had to cancel some service and the girl on the phone was so polite and friendly, I felt like I was drowning her pet kitten for dropping whatever it was. She didn't try to change my mind or have a 'tude - she was genuinely sweet. It stands out to this day because it's such a rarity.

The only problem with dealing with people is that there were a couple of points where errors in the shipping address almost slipped in. If I was typing it in, it would've been fine and that's a weak link that I'm not crazy about along with giving my CC # to a person and not a SSL-secured browser, so caveat emptor. I'll report an further dealings I have with them.

===========

UPDATE: [sigh] Just as I feared, no sooner do I post this item that I get the receipt e-mail for my order and see that they misspelled the destination street of "Executive" as "Exuctive". I sent back a correction, but I hope they can fix it. Nice people. Not so hot on the spelling.

===========

UPPITY-UPDATE: The package arrived without a hitch and I was surprised to find they'd put some loose CANDY in the shipping box! Atomic Fireballs, butterscotch discs and a Smarties. Wow. Good prices, no sales tax, free shipping, nice sales help and FREE CANDY!!!!

Feed Me, Dirk! FEED ME!!!

When I switched over the template for Dirkworld® to the new style Blogger was offering, a lot of the extras I had, like the hit counter and RSS feed link, got nuked in the move and I've finally gotten around to patching them back in.

Since updates can either be five items per day or once every couple of weeks, it's impractical to expect you kind readers to constantly check back in hopes of some new bon mot has been posted, so please avail yourselves of the 21st Century spiffiness of news feeds and hit the link to let the news come to you.

I had gotten so many new sites I wanted to follow, I had to add a 2nd tab to my customized Google home page and move the tech stuff off to that. Hope that y'all find some spare pixels on your page to park the Paul Review Signature Model™ feed from here. Thank you.

BTW, if the feed-adding thing doesn't work, drop a comment in the Backtalks section so that I can look into it. Thanks.

Hey, Kids! Cheaters ALWAYS Win!!! (Right, Barry?)

I've always wondered why parents tell their children patently untrue things in an effort to keep them on the straight and narrow; to make them better citizens or some such rot.

My favorite example of a truism at odds with reality has been "Cheaters never win." It's meant to impart the concept that a victory attained by dishonest means is not a true accomplishment and that they should strive to succeed honestly in order to be able to truly savor the accomplishment.

What a load of hooey.

Barry Bonds just hit his 756th home run a little while ago. Note that I phrased it that way instead of the way it'll be written up in tomorrow's papers: BONDS BREAKS AARON'S HR RECORD! That was a deliberate commentary via proper word selection.

Now, there is no one who doesn't think that Bonds didn't use life-threatening levels of steroids and other performance enhancing methods to hit this mark. (Babe Ruth was drunk, not juiced. If anything, he could've hit more runs if he was sober.) To celebrate this as anything other than another nail in the coffin for professional sports - since they're now little more than pro wrestling in matching uniforms - would be pathetic.

Whether it's crooked, Mobbed-up basketball refs; dogfighting QBs; or 'roided-up cheaters, sports are a multi-billion-dollar whorehouse that siphons fortunes in municipal monies to fund the stadiums for these millionaire mutants to wage their gladiatorial exhibitions within. Civic pride hinges on sports titles, not safe neighborhoods or quality schools. Detroit was just named the #1 Sports City by the Sporting News, even with the gawdawful Lions skewing the curve. Sure, everything else sucks about the town. At least the fans can wave their foam fingers with pride about something, right?

Kids aren't stupid; they pick up on the hypocrisies of their elders and as Bonds is feted as King Baseball, they'll learn what their parents were trying to disabuse them of taking to heart...

Cheaters. ALWAYS. Win.

What's the point of cheating if it didn't pay off somehow? Duh. Cheaters cheat to win and when they get away with it, it makes all the cheating worthwhile.

Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig should've gotten to the bottom of the BALCO business and either cleared or banned Bonds before it came to this moment. A nice big f*cking asterisk would be a start, but won't be enough to erase the stigma and shame Bonds will carry for eternity as many will refuse to pretend that he is worthy of honor.

Meanwhile, kids everywhere will put down their Wheaties spoons and load up their syringes with HGH. If it's good enough for Barry...

=============

UPDATE: Given her history of criminal enterprise, should it be a surprise that Nancy Pelosi said:

"Tonight, Barry Bonds etched his name into baseball's history books and took his rightful place among sport's immortals. It was a great night for baseball and a great night for San Francisco..."

Better living through chemistry, indeed.

The NY Post puts it in a more proper perspective:

Monday Morning Coffee

Yikes!!! Two days in a row?!? Yeep!!!!

A GATHERING OF WHITE MEN: That's how the WaPo characterizes the Yearly Kos convention where pandering Dem candidates go to pander to unhinged moonbats. Sez da Post:

"It's mostly white. More male than female," says the former high school math and science teacher turned activist. "It's not very diverse."

Walking around McCormick Place during the weekend, it became clear that only a handful of the 1,500 conventioneers -- bloggers, policy experts, party activists -- are African American, Latino or Asian. Of about 100 scheduled panels and workshops, less than a half-dozen dealt directly with women or minority issues.

You mean that liberals - who are all about paying lip service to the oppressed and downtrodden - are mostly the very oppressors they accuse on-liberals of being?

Duh.

CASINO ROYALE W/CHEESE: Finally got around to watching this last night and while the action scenes were crazy, the story itself was both dull and confusing. You never really get involved in what's happening and the twists are pretty obvious. Daniel Craig doesn't work for me, either; he should be remaking Steve McQueen's oeuvre.

SUNDAY MORNING BLAH-BLAH-WOOF-WOOF: For a party that's routinely smeared as theocrats, how the Stupid Party decided holding a debate on a Sunday - the Lord's day, i.e. a day of rest - morning when people would be either sleeping or at church shows they obviously aren't that rigorous in their fervor.

OBAMA STILL NOT READY FOR PRIME TIME: This empty suit really doesn't have a clue, does he? He was against the Iraq War but has been trying to act tough by threatening to invade Pakistan. The locals aren't too happy about this. Dude isn't even elected and he's already getting the world to hate us. Isn't this the reason they say Dubya should be crucified?

DIRK'S DISH DU JOUR: I don't think she's THAT hot, but she was in "Casino Royale", not too brutal on the eyes, and I haven't done one of these in ages; so Eva Green catches a break. She's welcome.

Ever Hear of "Alms For Jihad"? (You Probably Won't.)

I've been noticing some items about some book called "Alms For Jihad" that details how Muslim humanitarian agencies are actually front groups for funding of terrorism by Islamofascists. I regularly drive by the office building one of these "charity" outfits operated and another joint was busted a few miles from my work in Dearbornistan. Of course, the usual suspects make the usual cries of racism and persecution, but what else is new?

Anyway, this book is apparently being recalled by the publisher under threat of legal action by an extremely wealthy and connected Saudi oligarch who has the resources to sue anyone he wishes out of existence. Or the books they publish. Super mack daddy Mark Steyn writes of this in his colum "The vanishing jihad exposés" and it opens with:

How will we lose the war against "radical Islam"?

Well, it won't be in a tank battle. Or in the Sunni Triangle or the caves of Bora Bora. It won't be because terrorists fly three jets into the Oval Office, Buckingham Palace and the Basilica of St Peter's on the same Tuesday morning.

The war will be lost incrementally because we are unable to reverse the ongoing radicalization of Muslim populations in South Asia, Indonesia, the Balkans, Western Europe and, yes, North America. And who's behind that radicalization? Who funds the mosques and Islamic centers that in the past 30 years have set up shop on just about every Main Street around the planet?

For the answer, let us turn to a fascinating book called "Alms for Jihad: Charity And Terrorism in the Islamic World," by J. Millard Burr, a former USAID relief coordinator, and the scholar Robert O Collins. Can't find it in your local Barnes & Noble? Never mind, let's go to Amazon. Everything's available there...Unfortunately, if you then try to buy "Alms for Jihad," you discover that the book is "Currently unavailable. We don't know when or if this item will be back in stock." Hang on, it was only published last year....not many books from 2006 are entirely unavailable with no restock in sight.

Steyn fills in some more blanks before closing with a sobering assessment that will be no surprise to anyone who read "America Alone":

We've gotten used to one-way multiculturalism: The world accepts that you can't open an Episcopal or Congregational church in Jeddah or Riyadh, but every week the Saudis can open radical mosques and madrassahs and pro-Saudi think-tanks in London and Toronto and Dearborn, Mich., and Falls Church, Va. And their global reach extends a little further day by day, inch by inch, in the lengthening shadows, as the lights go out one by one around the world.

Suppose you've got a manuscript about the Saudis. Where are you going to shop it? Think Cambridge University Press will be publishing anything anytime soon?

Where are the liberals who would be shrieking and filling their diapers if this was a book bashing Christian charities that was pulled under pressure from a rich Christian? (As if such a thing would happen. Sometimes the weirdness of the Left is such that you can't even find an antonym that doesn't sound ridiculous on its face.)

We know about Paris and Lindsey and Nicole and a whole lot of other meaningless stuff, but when it comes time to follow the money on the financing of our way of life and our civilization....PFFFTTT! Who cares? People spent $12 million on effing "Underdog" this weekend, but wouldn't have a chance to spend $12 (or whatever) on "Alms For Jihad" if they wanted.

If this book is destined to be tossed down the Memory Hole, then it MUST be set free on the Internet for people to read. Don't give me the argument that it's copyright infringement and robs the authors and publishers - there isn't going to be any money made; the sheik has seen to that - so let's cut the crap and get it out there. I've seen that there are concerns about the accuracy of some parts but the Blogosphere can fisk and flag what's not true instead of letting the errors moot the greater whole.

A Guide To Politically-Correct Bathroom Etiquette.

Michelle Malkin had this video by Mary Katherine Ham posted and it's cute and funny. Speaking of cute, isn't Mary just so? Yep, she is.



As I commented at Malkin's place:

No wonder conservatives are happier: Our bloggers are cuter with sunny dispositions and the ability to make political points in a humorous manner.

Liberals are shrill, bitter, angry, UGLY, noise machines of rage and bile and they wonder why no one wants to listen to their shows or read their blogs.

Reagan smiled. We can win with mocking humor. :)

Indeed.

Question For The Left: Must EVERYTHING Be About Your BDS?

Liberals are consumed by Bush Derangement Syndrome. They can't stop mentioning how much they hate him and those who voted for him. You know how comedians always drop a mention of how they're Jewish, even if it's apropos of nothing - Why do I always get stuck behind the dumb guy at airport screening? I'm Jewish, but I don't feel the need to bring my silverware along. What's up with Lindsey Lohan? My Jewish mother would scold her." - that's how liberals are about their BDS and need to share with the class.

I was reading a computer gaming magazine last week and one guy mentioned a few times that when he had to deal with red and blue teams, he made sure to screw over the red ones and how stupid he thought the President was. It was his way of pronouncing the BDS shibboleth to all who read him. "I hate Bush, too. I'm one of you."

What brings this up is Stephanie Zacharek's review of "The Bourne Ultimatum" at Salon. The third in the Matt Damon - I'll wait while you "Team America" fans say it out loud - action series opens today and her review opens with this:

Jason Bourne, in theory, could be George W. Bush's dream historian, a loyal foot soldier who has been conditioned to obey and serve but whose mind has been broken and reconfigured to conveniently forget certain details and fixate on others. You couldn't find a better candidate to sit down and write a glowing record of the W. presidency. It would be a masterpiece of selective memory -- except for the fact that Jason Bourne insists on trying to use even the parts of his brain that don't work.

What the f*ck is that about? People looking for a movie review have to wade through this twit's yawp of partisan rage before discussion of the cinematic product can commence. It's bad enough that you've got to sit through commercials at the theater; now you have to sit through the reading of some critic's political grievances before you learn whether the movie is worth the time?

Later, she burps up this:

Maybe guys like Greengrass should be reserved only for serious pictures about serious subjects, movies like "Bloody Sunday" and "United 93" (the latter a picture whose mere existence I have problems with, as much as I respect Greengrass' technique and approach).

She doesn't explain as to WHY she has a problem with the movie. Does she believe that showing America's first response to jihadi terror is not useful because it gives others the idea that fighting back is better than bowing to the sword of Islamofascism? Does she disagree with what's shown, since her fellow travelers believe the plane was shot down by Dick Cheney himself in his Sith TIE fighter? Who cares as long as she gets her BDS rocks off, right?

Friday Morning Coffee...Wha? Wait! Friday Morning Coffee?!?!?

Yep. I've got a huge stack of stuff I'd love to expound upon at length, but I'm too busy to do anything but this. You're welcome.

MINNEAPOLIS BRIDGE IS FALLING DOWN, FALLING DOWN...: In the wake of this tragedy, I was not sure if it would be scarier that Al Queda may have been involved or that they weren't and this is more shoddy governmentally-contracted infrastructure work. The Left is trying to blame the War to Save Western Civilization From Islamofascism - ugh, that's wordy, albeit accurate - for diverting money away from providing union jobs building crappy bridges. Nevermind that our roads and bridges have been crumbling forever, including during the Clinton Regime when we were pretending we weren't under attack, this is all Dubya's fault!! And global warming!!!! Yeah!!! Pffft.

FILE UNDER "SELF-DISCREDITING MEMES": I've written before about the specious whining of the Left over about Team Dubya has chilled speech and turned America into a totalitarian state. Ignoring the rank projection of their wishes for unchecked power upon others, the fact that all we ever hear about in the press is how they can't say their American-hating, BDS piece, yet never seem to get "disappeared" in the night, provides enough irony to allow one to eliminate spinach from their diet.

Hugh Hewitt notices this disconnect in an E.J. Dionne encomium to Head Moonbat Kos and flagged it as such:

Moulitsas, 35, created his Daily Kos Web site on May 26, 2002 -- "in those dark days," as his site puts it, "when an oppressive and war-crazed administration suppressed all dissent as unpatriotic and treasonous." Daily Kos took off because so many Democrats shared Moulitsas's view of the second President Bush.

Got that? DailyKos has thrived because all dissent has been suppressed. Of course, you have to remember that they make up their own meanings for words that are unrelated to what standard dictionaries say. They're kind of like Norm Crosby if he wanted to be a dictator.

THE SILKY PONY'S ENDLESS HYPOCRISY: John Edwards pees sitting down, much like John Mayer. First he has to send his terminally-ill wife, Elizabeth, out to attack Ann Coulter and others who are mean to him. Then he tries to copy RFK's rich-dude-visits-po'-folk tour and even the Treason Media says he's ridiculous. (If he were to write his autobiography, "Profiles in Lack of Testicular Fortitude" is a leading title candidate.)

Lately, he's been the leading surrender monkey pandering to the Kos Kidz to force his fellow Dems from debating on the Fox News Channel because, well, because they're terrified of being asked a question that will reveal their dishonesty and lack of intellectual rigor. Malkin had a story about Edwards bashing Hillary! for taking $20,000 in bribes, er, contributions from News Corp. officials. Now comes word that he was paid at least $800,000 by Harper-Collins - which is owned by dum-dum-DUM!!! NEWS CORP!!! Aiieeeee!!!! - for some book. (Funny how the Murdoch-owned NY Post busts him on it.)

Edwards claimed $333,334 in royalties from last year's release of the book, according to media accounts. The campaign said last night that those funds were part of the advance.

He says he gave that amount to charity, which would also provide tax benefits for Edwards. "We're more than happy to give even more of Murdoch's money to Habitat for Humanity and other good causes," spokesman Eric Schultz told The Post yesterday.

He declined to show proof, however, that Edwards had donated the $500,000 advance or $300,000 expense checks to charity.

Hypocrisy and greed. Or what Johnny boy calls "Friday."

Why am I thinking of "Werewolves of London" when I see this picture?

OBAMA'S MISSTEPS SHOW HE'S NOT READY FOR PRIME TIME: Barack Obama - or Barack HUSSEIN Obama as Coulter calls him - has said a couple of really stupid things in the past week. First he said at the silly YouTube/CNN debate he'd tour the world to kiss the rings of every thug dictator who'd receive him in his first year of office. Now he's promising not to use nukes, which kind of reduces their threatening cachet with our enemies. How naive and callow are these gaffes? Hillary! is pounding him over them and sounding like Patton compared to the rest of the Surrendercrats she's allied with.

Obama and Edwards need to drop out of the race. They could open a business together that would trade on their innate traits: EMPTY SUIT WAREHOUSE!!!

SHE'S JUST A DHIMMI: Gwen Stefani - who really needs to get back with No Doubt and send the Harajuku girls over to my place - is touring Asia and her date at Kuala Lumpur is being protested by the local members of the Religion of Perptual Outrage, er, PEACE (yeah, that's the ticket) because she's not tented enough for their tastes. Not wanting to forego money or, I dunno, STAND UP FOR WOMEN'S RIGHTS, Gwen has decided to bow before the sword of Islam and comport herself like a good dhimmi.

To recap, this is Gwen Stefani under what we're told by the Left is an intolerant, repressive, sex-fearing, misogynist, theocratic, fascist regime here in America:



And this is Gwen under the kind auspices of Condi and Dubya's Religion of Peace and Love:



Any questions? Still want to surrender the war against Islamofascism? Call your Congressman now!

FRIDAY FIVER: 1. What is your local lake/river/sea?

Detroit River/Lake St. Clair

2. Do you believe in dragons and unicorns?

Who are you? Stevie Nicks?

3. What is your favorite fruit?

Elton J...oh...um, apples, I guess. Grapes are nice, too.

4. Do you smoke?

No, but I am SSSSSSSSSSMOKIN'!!!! Har har!

5. Friday fill-in: Together they would _____ .

Not be apart?

Boy, this was a lame quiz this week. :-\

The Compassion of the Left Strikes Again.

In response to word that Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts had a seizure, here's what Wonkette had to say:

Chief Justice John Roberts has died in his summer home in Maine. No, not really, but we know you have your fingers crossed.

It's gotten so predictable and commonplace that it's hardly shocking to see the rancid, seething hate that consumes the Left 24/7 and how freely they share their rage with the world. The irony is that they project their insanity upon conservatives and the Treason Media fosters this fraudulent meme.

Why Was Deanna Troi Allowed To Sit In On The Poker Games?

Seriously. What idiot would play cards with a mind reader at the table?

If It's Friday, It's Friday Fiver Catch-Up Time!

Only missed one week - not bad!

1. Favorite pastry?

Dunkers.

2. How do you like to waste time?

I do I NOT like to waste time would be a shorter answer.

3. How would you describe your complexion?

Complex.

4. What do you hang on to that you should really get rid of?

Old magazines, too-small clothes, hope.

5. What is the last thing that made you hurt?

Physically? Can't recall. Mentally? Coping with my mother's stroke and the insanity of the insurance system and my girlfriend breaking her arm and not going to the doctor for almost a week because she's uninsured and now facing bills for surgery. That's giving me a headache.

===================

1. Tea or coffee?

Tea, if I'm looking for a beverage; coffee, if I need to wake up and can't smoke crack.

2. Do you speak your mind?

Look who you're asking.

3. What is your escape?

Wait...there's a way out of all this?

4. When is the last time you cried?

Probably the other night while talking about the f*cked-up nursing home I had to move my Mom into at an insane cost.

5. What are your bedtime rituals?

Make sure the hostages are still alive; set the alarm clock; release the hounds.

It All Depends On Whose Religion Is Being Separated.

That's how Powerline headlined this Ryskind cartoon:



Just as with Time magazine's "How the Democrats Got Religion" cover story with its takeaway that (paraphrasizing) "those stupid godbag Jeebus freaks don't like it when we call them what they are - superstitious rubes - so ixnay on the theist-ay-ay alk-tay", the last permissible form of outright bigotry allowed is against Christians. (Though anti-Semitism is enjoying a big comeback on the Left.) Combined with the mind-rotting poison of multi-culturalism, the will to stand up against this bigotry is weak in the public, making the Islamofascists plans all the easier, since who's gonna fight back when they don't believe in either God or country?

This has been a long-running conundrum for me as I've watched any non-liberal who dares mentions their faith get smeared as a theocratic moron while Dem after Dem get to march into the pulpits of black churches and campaign and pretend to share their faith. OK, it's not really confusing - liberals are hypocrites as well as bigots - but it's still annoying that they falsely claim the mantle of being "diverse" and "tolerant" when their fascistic actions are imposing speech codes, creating thought crimes in the guise of punishing "hate", and cause the systematic de-Godification of public life while cheerfully assisting in the Allahfication of the West.

Whether it's appeasement or just common cause against a common enemy - i.e. Christians - the Left hates the idea of any God that would stand above their self-anointed beliefs that they are deities unto themselves. This isn't to say that we need Pat Robertson as President [shudder] but a warning that in their eagerness to kill off all of one flavor of religion, the Left is ushering in a new Dark Age under the sword of a bloodthirsty creed practiced by barbarians over a thousand years past their bedtime.

Chris Matthews: Un-American Idiot

The unctuous Jay Leno gets falsely tagged as being friendly to the Stupid Party because he angled himself into the spotlight which Ahnuld ran for Governator of "Callieforneah". Despite having enough fuel-guzzling cars to make Al Gore want to try him for crimes against humanity, Leno's reliably leftist as anyone who hopes to keep working in entertainment.

Just now, he had loudmouth asstackler and former Dem operative Chris Matthews on and while Matthews has usually managed to restrain his seething rage against the Stupid Party, the pressure of matching fellow MSNBC moonbat Keith Olberman must be getting to him because he spent his entire segment spewing a litany of lies, distortions, bias and hypocrisy that made Air AmeriKKKa's Randi Rhodes sound sane.

And Leno didn't even try to rein him in.

I'm sure that the Blogosphere will be all over this and the video will pop up, but all that will show is that when Team Dubya has managed to alienate all but the most clueless of his supporters with his almost complete betrayal of conservative values, the noise generators of the fascist Left still can't resist lying about what's actually happening in the world and with the war. The biggest irony of Matthew's lies was the faux outrage over how he claimed Team Dubya was lying because people couldn't keep our enemies straight.

Chris Matthews is a fascist partisan and Jay Leno is a fellow traveling hypocrite. Too bad that Osama and the Islamofascists - cool band name! - will reward their cooperation in the same way that Baltar was rewarded by the Cylons in the original "Battlestar Galactica" movie.

Fun With Redubbed Propaganda!

I've been a big fan of movie trailer mash-ups, but these are slightly different beasts. Instead of selectively cutting the films to make a new ironic piece, the guys at SarcasticGamer.com have taken the actual promotional films meant to make potential customers think that what's being shown is soooooooooooooo cool that they can't live without it and by simply replacing the narration, effectively killed any cool factor these products may've had.

First up is their takedown of the Microsoft Surface computer which promises to bring the whiz-bang niftyness of "Minority Report" to the masses. I heard the audio for this a couple of weeks ago on the TWiT podcast, but just saw the video today.



What prompted me to look that video up was this next one which my boss told me about. I had heard something about the "Wii Fit" game-ish thing in the E3 Lite coverage, but since I don't care about the Wii, I didn't pursue more info. After watching this video, I can't imagine anyone wanting it.



Not since "South Park" preemptively destroyed the Goreacle with their invaluable "ManBearPig" episode have goofy ideas been so thoroughly trashed by mocking.

Buy Me This Shirt!!!

Sorry there isn't a larger and better picture...



...but it says, "AD/HD Back In Bla... Hey Look, A Squirrel!"

I take an XL. Thanks!

Friday Fiver Double-Shot Edition

A brief break from the inanity and madness to catch up.

1. Have you ever gone fishing?

Yes.

2. Do you have an aquarium?

No.

3. Do you eat fish?

Yes.

4. Have you ever seen Finding Nemo?

Yes.

5. What do you think of Sushi?

Like it a lot.

==========

1. What do you do?

That voodoo I do so well.

2. What makes you pay attention?

Nudity.

3. What's your inspiration?

Nudity.

4. Do you believe in magic?

In the form of Anne Hathaway nudity, ABSOTIVELY!!!!

5. What is your favorite subject to write about?

Quantum whateverness.

File Under: DUH!!!

A strong contender for "Most Obvious Headline" honors: Women drawn to men with muscles.

Muscular young men are likely to have more sex partners than their less-chiseled peers, researchers at the University of California Los Angeles said on Monday.

As Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ frequently told his Apostles, "NO F*CKING SH*T, SHERLOCK!!!"

My tax dollars better not be at work here, dammit!

"Et tu, babycakes."

Life is sucking particularly hard today, but rather than hector about the ills of the world much, I'm feeling more in the silly frame of mind, thus this story about the results of "Slate's Action-Movie One-Liner Contest" which include:

In the puzzling-yet-strangely-compelling category, Brian Charles Mackinson coins a threat that sounds like a poorly translated subtitle from a grade-Z martial-arts movie: "My karate will disintegrate your genitals." C.F. Harkins imagines a hero's last words to his nemesis as these: "I'm canceling your elocutionist's appointment." Matthew Durand's protagonist is slightly more straightforward: "Your ass is about to get its own ass handed to it." And Steven Hutchins goes meta (and just plain weird) with "Dénouement-ized, man-kisser!"

Joe Martin of Roseburg, Ore., cuts to the chase with "Less talk, more dying," and Mike Spradlin Jr. takes the prize for pithiness with the sprightly "Toodles!" (I particularly like imagining that one in the voice of Steven Seagal.)

Wacky. If I'd known about this contest, maybe I could've entered something like, "I've been killing punks your age since I was your age." Or maybe not.

Sprint To G.I. Joe: Click!

Sprint cut off 200 military personnel for "excessive roaming" - because we all know soldiers just wander aimlessly of their own volition - only to back off a little when the bad press started to singe. Jerks.

A commenter also points out that Verizon sucks, which is old news because they cripple the phones they sell to force users to use their services. ATT&T/Cingular also blows goats, as legions of iPhone chumps are finding out.

Let's hear it for T-Mobile, if only for having the hottest spokesperson:



...though I see in the stories that came up when searching for pix that she's being phased out. Lovely. String and two cans, anyone? (Yeah, CZ-J had the two cans alright.)

ZOMG!!! Friday Fiver Quinto-Play!!!

Gawd, it's been ages since I've done this, so let's catch up on a month's worth, shall we?

1. What do you do?

Frighten the fascist Left with my unrelenting quest for the Truth.

2. What makes you pay attention?

Boobies.

3. What's your inspiration?

Boobies.

4. Do you believe in magic?

In the case of Anne Hathaway's boobs, yes, I do!

5. What is your favorite subject to write about?

Boobs. (Unfortunately, they're most likely to be the political type and not the fun "joy globe" versions.)

============

1. What troubles you?

That so many people are panicking about fictional bogeymen like ManBearPig while ignoring genuine threats to survival like Islamofascists.

2. Do you like thunderstorms?

Meh. They make me worry about all my electronic stuff getting zapped.

3. Do you sleep easily or toss and turn?

I sleep so hard that I'm legally dead in 23 states.

4. What do you offer a friend?

Honest advice. (They usually don't want it though.)

5. Friday fill-in: Please don't ___.

Vote for Democratic-liberal-socialist fascism.

============

1. Have any road trips planned?

No.

2. What is out of your reach?

Anything more than a few feet away.

3. Are you more likely to watch a sunset or the sun rise?

Sunset. I'll only see a sunrise if I've been up all night.

4. What night will you never forget?

The night Angelina Jolie and I made mad, hot, sweet, monkey love. (That is, I won't forget it once it happens.)

5. What's the last thing that made you scream?

Hmmmm...can't recall, though I was startled into screaming while playing Half-Life.

==============

1. When do you doubt yourself?

Never.

2. Who do you owe an apology?

No one.

3. When is the last time you felt embarrassed?

Never.

4. What do you ignore?

Nothing.

5. Do you love yourself?

No more than everyone else does.

===========

1. Are you attracted to the naughty or the nice?

The nicely naughty.

2. Do you let your dirty laundry pile up?

Yes.

3. What's the last excuse you made?

"She said she was 18."

4. Do you play it safe or do you take risks?

I take the safer risks.

5. Friday fill-in: Let's go to ____ and ____.

Bar; work.

Lefty Sez: "At Least Hitler Meant Well"

Just when you think that the ravages of Bush Derangement Syndrome can't get any worse, you see something like the Huffington Post item discussed in this Power Line Forum thread which amidst the spittle-inflected ravings is included this bon mot:

You could argue that even the world’s worst fascist dictators at least meant well. They honestly thought were doing good things for their countries by suppressing blacks/eliminating Jews/eradicating free enterprise/repressing individual thought/killing off rivals/invading neighbors, etc. Only the Saudi royal family is driven by the same motives as Bush, but they were already entrenched. Bush set a new precedent. He came into office with the attitude of “I’m so tired of the public good. What about my good? What about my rich friends’ good?”

Considering Dubya and the Stupid Party are doomed due to their out-of-control socialist activities - No Child Left Behind, Medicare drug benefits, billions in unaccounted for Katrina handouts, and the rewarding of invaders with free everything to name but a few sins - the idea that Dubya hasn't been doing anything but bankrupting the nation in the lunatic quest to spread "compassion" at the expense of the citizenry is not only blatantly false, but reeks of the madness BDS causes.

Subsequent posters note that the author is a former sports journalist, just like the unhinged Keith "Worst Asstackler Alive" Olberman was. What is it about hanging out with minorities that make tens of millions of dollars for playing games and serve as role models for the yoots of America that makes these morons so obsessed with the idea that the world is nothing but an unjust hellhole and that only liberal fascism can balance the scales? Pitiful.

Rock Stars Against Live Earth

As I mentioned in the previous post, Savior of All Humanity, Al Gore, is putting on a big concert in the Live Aid/Live 8 mold called Live Earth which is meant to raise awareness of the fictional junk science phenomena that has people crapping themselves to fix, ManBearPig*.

Well, not everyone is bending over and grabbing the ankles for this scam and someone has started the blog Rock Stars Against Live Earth which catalogs comments against these sorts of events with the top of the site displaying this acid crack from Saint Bob Geldolf, creator of the modern benefit concert/broadcast format:

But why is (Gore) actually organizing them? To make us aware of the greenhouse effect? Everybody’s known about that problem for years. We are all f--king conscious of global warming."

Well, Bob, Gore is organizing it because he's a loser who failed at fulfilling the destiny his anti-civil rights father, Sen. Al Gore (Gore is actually a Jr.; his drunken driving loser kid is the III of the line of Gore losers), to become President and now has reinvented himself as Savior of All Humanity. Nevermind that humankind is more likely to die in the nuclear fire of Islamofascist terror than a super hurricane fueled by global warming.

Check out the whole thing - it's a quick read - to see all the common sense head-shaking at the sophistry of this scam and how John Lennon had little use for benefit shows in general. I especially liked this post about Al Gore III's latest peccadillo which I covered in my last post.

Energy-efficient Toyota Prius can hit 100 MPH, as proven by police radar, even if you’re drunk and carrying a bag of weed and a bunch of pills. Who knew?

Al Gore III has already raised my awareness this week more than his dad ever will.

Heh.



* In case someone not familiar with the lingo has wandered onto Dirkworld®, ManBearPig refers to a brilliant episode of "South Park" which ran in April 2006 in which Al Gore comes to town to frighten everyone with tales of the fearsome ManBearPig, a creature that is "half-man, half-bear, and half-pig" (add it up). To try and scare people Gore dresses up in a costume...


...and reveals himself to be the pathetic attention whore he is.

While "South Park" did some of their all-time greatest social commentary satire in their 10th season - "Cartoon Wars" led to Comedy Central being referred to as "Comedhimmi Central" after the network caved into Islamofascist terrorism and censored the episode - this episode was particularly useful because it aired a few months ahead of Gore's eventual Oscar-winning fantasy film's debut, so that savvy folks laughed at and ignored this steaming pile of lies right out of the gate. Three cheers for Matt and Trey! Henceforth, I've always referred to it as "An Inconvenient ManBearPig", though for this spoof poster, I just did a slight edit of the title so as not to lose the readers at another site.



===========

UPDATE: In an article about how NBC will be broadcasting the concerts, news anchor Ann Curry vomited this bon mot:

She said that the concert arrives at a particularly momentous time.

"This has been the year where I think the world has come to a kind of reckoning that there may be some validity to all of this discussion about climate change," Curry said. "It's come around to the idea that maybe we should take this seriously."

1. According to the Goreacle, all debate is over for we are all truly doomed if we don't take his anti-American/anti-capitalist/pro-fascist/pro-Gore worshiping prescriptions and implement them, so to say that "there may be some validity" is a sign of eco-Holocaust denial and less than true belief. Off to the reeducation camp with her!!!

B. There is a name for people who are beguiled by the Goracle's codswallop: F*CKING MORONS!!!! And Ann Curry seems to qualify for that designation indeed. Stick to reading the TelePrompter, Ann, and don't forget to say "Go f*ck yourself, San Diego!"

=============

UPDATE #2: From www.lolpresidents.com

Al Gore III Busted. Again. Will Leno Make Jokes?

We all know that the Bush twins are a pair of drunken party girls, right? Why? Because the late-night comedians and the Treason Media have diligently made sure that every one of their foibles is documented and mocked. (Because the idea of a college-age girl with a fake ID to party with is an impeachable offense.) Only the fact that the Olsen twins are genuinely more f*cked up has spared us constant reportage of the adventures of Barbara (the cute one who looks like Thora Birch) and Jenna (the blonde who looks ready to perform for the "Girls Gone Wild" cameras).

All along, though, I've wondered why the substance and driving crimes of Al Gore III, son of the former Veep and current self-anointed Savior of All Humanity, have gone barely reported and joked upon? Could it be the usual M.O. of the Treason Media in covering up the sins of their fellow travelers?

Duh.

Whether it was AG3 getting pulled over for going 94 mph and reckless driving by North Carolina police in August 2000 when Daddy was trying fulfill his destiny to rule over us, or being charged with pot possession after driving without headlights in December 2003, the powers in charge of information and entertainment kept it on the DL. Mustn't tarnish the prince's crown, right?

For his latest stunt, AG3 got popped for driving a blue Toyota Prius - at least he walks the talk his daddy is too important to be bothered with - about 100 mph on the San Diego Freeway, smelling of marijuana and in possession of less than an ounce of marijuana along with Xanax, Valium, Vicodin and Adderall (which is used for attention deficit disorder) without having prescriptions for any of the drugs. Gore was being held in the men's central jail in Santa Ana on $20,000 bail.

As if he wasn't already protected by his daddy's elite pals, he also will catch a break because the news broke on a holiday and Leno, Letterman et al are on vacation this week and by next week this will be old news. (Not that decades of sobriety spared Dubya from drunk jokes. Funny how that works, no?)

Also, Big Daddy Al is having his big fake charity concert this weekend to "raise awareness" of the ManBearPig problem and the TM won't be interrupting Gore's latest glory moment with inconvenient personal truths (i.e. his kid is a doped-up road hazard) or pointing out that many of his claims in "An Inconvenient ManBearPig" are disproven fibs.

In other words: Just another day of business as usual.

========

UPDATE (7/6/07): On the morning CBS Radio News, they had a item that AG3's problems show that prescription drug abuse is rampant and he's nothing out of the ordinary. In other words, everyone does it.

If this sounds familiar, it may be because while Bill Clinton was perjuring himself, abusing his office and obstructing justice, the Treason Media rushed forth with stories about how monogamy was unnatural and how everyone lies. Anything the Left needs to do to excuse the malfeasance of their allies - defining deviancy down, as Daniel Patrick Moynihan described it - they will do while holding non-liberals to a higher standard. (e.g. Stupid Partier Mark Foley sending creepy sex e-mails to 17-year-old male pages is BAD!!! Dem. Garry Studds actually f*cking 17-year-old male pages is A-OK!!!)

NBC’s Emotional Terrorism and the Treason Media's Preference For Useful Lies Over Inconvenient Truths

While everyone has beaten up on CBS for accentuating the "BS" portion with their fraudulent reporting over the years, NBC has managed to slide on their own shameful record of misconduct - anyone remember how they rigged trucks to explode for a report?

Hot Air has a Vent episode that shows that a May NBC News report about body armor for our troops was yet another sadly typical example of the Treason Media in action:

On May 17, NBC reported a blockbuster exclusive report on the superiority of Dragon Skin body armor over Interceptor, the body armor that the US Army issues to soldiers in combat zones. But NBC’s story has a major flaw: It’s wrong about nearly everything.

As if that wasn't enough, Instapundit wonders:

WHY DON'T AL QAEDA ATROCITIES GET MEDIA ATTENTION?

Because that might help Bush.

UPDATE: A journalist whose name you'd recognize emails:

Yon's story doesn't get attention because it is humiliating.

It is humiliating because it is obvious that we media – and our allies in the state department, the legal trade, the NGOs, the Democratic Party, the UN, etc., - can’t do squat about such determined use of force.

Our words, images, arguments and skills can’t stop the killing. Only the rough soldiers and their guns can solve the problem, and we won’t admit that fact because the admission would weaken our influence and our claim to social status.

So we pretend Yon’s massacre – and the North Korean killing fields, the Arab treatment of women, the Arab hatred of Israel, etc. - doesn’t exist, and instead focus our emotions and attention on the somewhat-bad domestic things that we can ‘fix’ with our DC-based allies. Things such as Abu Ghraib, wiretapping, etc. When we ‘fix’ them, then we get status, applause, power, new jobs, ego, etc.

Please don’t be surprised. We media are an interest group not much different from the automakers, the unions, and the farmers.

Sadly, this makes sense. And this fits the pattern.

The funny thing about the Left is that they're constantly shrieking about how the "truth" is being covered-up an imaginary news media that they see as controlled by Team Dubya, REAL news is actually being ignored in favor of terrorist propaganda from factions allied with those actually committing atrocities.

So much for that reality-based existence they claim to live.

===============

UPDATE: Day By Day notices, too.

Linkin Park Parody

Humor needs Truth to be funny. This parody has the Truth, therefore it is funny.

Secure Our Borders. No Amnesty.

I've been meaning to write a lengthy commentary entitled "Why Bother Having A Country?" but some serious family issues have really cut into my blogging time even more than usual. It's still in the works, but this requires immediate attention.

Over the past six weeks, an unholy troika of Team Dubya, the Stupid Party, and the Fascist Dems have been laboring mightily to destroy America's national character in a bi-partisan sellout that both sides believe is to their benefit. The Dems are looking to convert the 12-20 million illegal aliens into a permanent poverty class that will swear fealty (and votes) to the Donkey God in exchange for the promise of alms from Caesar. The Stupid Party wants to supply their fat cat business chainholders with a supply of discount priced labor and believes that as the party that isn't seeking to kill God (like the Dems), they reap all those Catholic votes. It's cynical, immoral and effing WRONG!!!

Today, the Senate - who fancy themselves the "World's Most Deliberative Body" - cut off the sham debate by invoking cloture and is blazing full speed ahead to get this monster passed before the people show up with torches and pitchforks. They've been inundated with calls and e-mails, jamming the switchboards at the Capitol, but instead of rethinking their positions lest they incur the wrath of the voters, they have collectively flipped the citizens the bird. The invaders who can't even legally vote for them are a more important constituency to these empty suits than those voters who were born here or legally immigrated.

Senator Jim Inhofe has a petition going which will allow people to make a futile gesture as if our overlords really gave a sh*t about what we thought. Come on, if all the calls, letters, e-mails, demands of refunds of political contributions, and nearly unanimous condemnation by conservative talk hosts - Michael Medved has been too forgiving of this shamnesty - hasn't gotten their attention, a simple click on a site won't either, but whatever.

Members of the United State Senate,

I am one of the millions of Americans who believes our first priority as a nation should be to secure our borders by enforcing existing laws. Amnesty is not the solution.

I urge you to vote against the immigration reform bill currently being considered in the Senate and to oppose any future effort that undermines our national security or grants amnesty to millions of illegal immigrants.

There is a box with which you can tack on a personal message, so I kicked in this 1/50th of a dollar with my token addition:

Instead of jamming this shamnesty down the public's collective throat over the nearly universal objections of the poor peasants - who will actually have to suffer the day-to-day consequences of your capricious actions while you glide from your Ivory Towers to your limos to your lofty ruling perches - why not just cut to the chase and surrender all disputed territories to the reconquistas and then take down the Stars and Stripes because you clearly have no intention on preserving and protecting the national you pretend to serve?

Ah, another paragraph-length sentence from the ol' Dirkster! Perhaps this will be the pearl of enlightenment that will make the light bulb go on over the empty heads of the dim bulbs running this country into the ground.

Nahhhh!!!!

As of 7:15 EST (about 5 hours ago), they have 56,808 signatures and this map shows the distribution of signatures so far:



Hmmmmm....still some spaces where people aren't pissed off or are just spaces without people.

A Few Strings Attached... (Guitar Quiz)

Whose guitar is this?



If you've got ANY significant experience with watching rock guitarists, you should be able to ace this quiz over at Mental Floss. Naturally, I aced it with a perfect 15 out of 15 score, but I guess it's more difficult for puny humans as it says at the bottom, "This quiz has been taken 1150 times with an average score of 58%".

Weak. Post your scores in the Backtalk...if you dare!!!

Prove That You Were Sedated In The '80s!

By taking this snazzy quiz!

I got 9 out of 10 correct and took 2:37 to complete it. (I didn't realize that it was timed, so you'll need to deduct a bit for the time lost to sock removal.)

Post your scores and times in the Backtalk section!

Hillary! Outsources Her Campaign Theme Song!!!

The Marie Antoinette of Arkansas, Hillary! Clinton, had a "Pick My Campaign Theme Song" contest, and the winner was announced today and I wonder if the Treason Media will note the fact that the winning song is "You and I": a song performed by a French-Canadian (Celine Dion) and written by a French-Canadian (Aldo Nova of "Fantasy" fame) as the theme of an Air Canada commercial campaign in 2004. (Source)

Say what you will about the dreadful John Mellencamp/Chevrolet "My Country" ads; at least an American car company had the sense to hire an American musician to supply the music to accompany the montage of American sights. Is the fact that "You and I" was even in the running for this contest a tacit admission by the Hillary! camp that there are songs that American songwriters won't write?

Looking at Hillary!'s press release, I see that other contestants were:

Suddenly I See - KT Tunstall - Good song (heard over opening credits of "The Devil Wears Prada"), but by a Scottish singer.

Rock This Country! - Shania Twain - Don't know the tune, but Shania is hot. And Canadian.

Beautiful Day - U2 - Irish band and didn't Kerry use this in 2004?

I'm a Believer - Smash Mouth - OK song, but couldn't they have used The Monkees version or is this "Shrek" payback for their pals at Dreamworks? (Spielberg has endorsed Hillary!)

Get Ready - The Temptations - Let's see: A classic Motown song by the only black artists on the list (that weren't write-ins); shouldn't this have been a shoo-in choice?

If a savvy American candidate was on the case, absolutely, but since we're dealing with the patently phony Hillary! - who adopts a Steppin Fetchit accent when she talks to black audiences - not a chance. If Hillary! can't control her elitist tendencies and overt sympathies toward the rich and powerful over the little guys and minorities to pick a frigging SONG, what hope is there that she'll be able to manage as Leader of the Free World? She can't even pander to her base properly!

Dems To Non-Dems: "Die In A Hurricane!!!"

That the fascist Democrats are opposed to free speech from their ideological foes is ancient news as immutable as the wetness of water and the sun rising in the East. Well, not content to try and stifle inconvenient truths being spoken against them, they are now placing residents of Florida's Broward County in harms way from hurricanes because they refuse to broadcast on the highest-rated news/talk station because they also broadcast Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity. As Hugh Hewitt writes:

And so we reach the inevitable end of the left’s campaign against the First Amendment. The Democrats in Broward County have officially declared themselves as the anti-free speech party. Commissioner Ritter is to be applauded for her candor, for declaring openly what elected Democrats across the country mutter quietly to themselves: “Rush, Sean and the rest must be silenced!”

I have heard of brass-knuckled politics before, but never anything on the order of denying your political opponents news of approaching hurricanes.

When Katrina struck, some wild-eyed lefties accused President Bush of denying relief efforts to New Orleans because the city was predominantly African-American.

Now we have actual proof of Democrats wanting to keep conservatives in the dark about approaching storms.

WIOD is the big news-talk voice on the block in south Florida –the news/talk ratings giant in the region. Those of us in the business know such things. If you want to get the word out about breaking news, you go to WIOD, first. It is where people in the area turn for bulletins.

Professionals tend to be cold-eyed about data, and the data says one thing: If you want to warn south Florida about the approach of a hurricane, you’d better get the message on WIOD.

The facts ought to be telling the Broward County lefties that they are putting politics ahead of the public interest.

Any serious law professor will also tell the Broward County bigs that what they have done is a blatantly unconstitutional punishment of speech. To bestow a benefit or inflict a punishment on the basis of the political perspective of the citizens involved is outrageous and will be condemned by any serious student of the First Amendment.

What’s next: Instructing the Broward County Fire Department to refuse calls from homes with Romney or Giuliani signs in the yard?

This absurd action from Broward County Democrats is a sign of desperation on the left. Air America has failed. The MSM is bleeding readers and viewers. Tony Blair has produced a scathing indictment of how the left-wing elite media operates. Fox News is thriving. Townhall.com is surging. The blogs of the center-right –from Instapundit, Powerline, and Michelle Malkin through the young college student who just fired up their new site yesterday—are growing and not just in visitors but also in the ability to persuade and not merely enrage. The new media world favors facts and well-made arguments, and the center-right has those, in abundance.

Which means the palsied arguments of the left are going to lose. Which means the left is going to try and stop the discussion, try and censor the debate, try and clamp down on speech.

And if you can't shut them up, you can hope a hurricane kills them.

Dennis Miller vs. Harry Reid...WHO YA GOT!!!

The pathetic, treasonous, shady land-dealing asstackler from Nevada, Harry Reid, has made his latest retarded bleatings (which apparently were unreported by his allies in the Treason Media; just as his Mormonism isn't slandered like Romney's) against former Joint Chief Peter Pace, calling him "incompetent." (As one blogger wonders, how is it that Team Dubya has thrown Pace under the bus while failure of an AG Gonzales gets to keep riding?)

Whenever Reid makes his breathy, sighing statements, he reminds me of former Dem Senate leader Tom Daschle, who was terminally "disappointed" with the slow progress in instituting totalitarian Democrat rule over the nation. (Is whispering supposed to make their fascist rhetoric less of a threat to freedom?) Anyhoo, whenever you see Reid's deathly pallor, keep this spot-on smackdown by Dennis Miller in mind:

Movie Geek Quiz: Before They Were Big Time

The description for this quiz is a little hyperbolic:

Everybody's got to start somewhere. Before they were doing boffo boxoffice or crafting Oscar speeches, these now-legendary directors made some of the campiest, silliest and strangest movies ever to grace the bottom of the b-list. Can you match the heavy-hitter with his secret shame?

When you see the list of films, you'll see that four or five of them aren't anything to be ashamed of at all. I knew about eight of them instantly and after watching a couple of the clips, only had to hazard guesses on the last two, ending up with a perfect score. (Post your score on the Backtalks!)

Firefox 2.0 = Teh k3wl!

Because I'd heard that Firefox 2.x was a buggy memory hog, I'd held off on upgrading from FF 1.5.x, but after an auto-update jacked up my work install, I moved to FF 2.0 and have since moved all my PCs to 2.0.

I don't like the change in the way tabs are handled - it's like IE 7, which the tab closing buttons on the tab itself, instead of one button on the right side that closes the currently selected tab - but the built in spell-checker is tha bomb, yo! When you do as much writing online as I do, this is invaluable.

If you do a lot of writing and care about not looking like an illiterate, definitely give Firefox 2.0 a shot.

Hillary Quayle?

Actually, judging from the high-tech companies sponsoring whatever this event was, you'd think SOMEONE could've done a little proofreading.

Starboogie Nightwars!!!

The Greatest Movie Ever Made® gets mashed up with that movie featuring the second-most-famous guy named Dirk.

Who thinks up this stuff?

As If My Day Hasn't Been Sucking Enough...

...I had to see this:



OTOH, the odds are much higher that these little buggers are gonna get hit by a car as they dart across the road, so I guess this isn't too much to lose sleep over.

It Was 30 Years Ago Today...

May 25, 1977. The day that "Star Wars" - before growing the "- Episode IV: A New Hope" suffix - was released. The movie that changed my life. Period.

Instead of posting what would likely be the 100,000,000th reminiscence of where I was that summer, I'll just leave you with this picture of "Attack of the Show" host, Olivia Munn (on left)...

...and "The Vader Sessions"...

...which is frigging hysterical in spots. (The interrogation scene is just so wrong.)

May the Force be with you!!!

Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!

That's what one California man would testify to if only his plot to kill his girlfriend didn't end with his death!

A CALIFORNIAN man who tried to kill his girlfriend by leaving her in a car parked across railway lines was himself killed when an oncoming train hurled the car into him as he fled.

His girlfriend survived, the Associated Press reported.

The man drove the car to the head of a line of traffic stopped at a level crossing in the San Fernando Valley neighbourhood of Sunland on Monday, police spokesman Mike Lopez said.

The man, who was seen arguing with the woman, then parked the car on the tracks and jumped out, leaving her behind, Mr Lopez said.

A 450-tonne commuter train hit the rear of the car, launching it into the man.

The girlfriend, who was injured , was taken to hospital in a stable condition.

"She gets hit by a train and lives. He gets hit by his own car and he dies,'' Mr Lopez said.

I know it's early, but the 2007 Darwin Award may be already clinched by this dope.

"Five crucial things the Linux community doesn't understand about the average computer user."

That's the title of a ZDNet blog post by Adrian Kingsley-Hughes and while he suggests that on the whole, users aren’t all that dissatisfied with Windows; there are too many distros; people want certainty that hardware and software will work; as far as most people are concerned, the command line has gone the way of the dinosaur; and Linux is still too geeky, he misses the big reason which I posted into the TalkBack:

Only Reason: Linux Maniacs Are Rude A-Holes!

All you have to do is read any ZDNet story TalkBack to see the same two mobs in action:

1. The Apple Cultists - These Kool-Aid engorged cows are so convinced that Steve Jobs is the representative of God on Earth and that anything more than one mouse button is the work of the Devil that they can't help but post "BUY A MAC! PROBLEM SOLVED!" to every thread. (If someone writes about pasta dishes, this is amended to "buy Mac & Cheese".)

B. The Linux Suicide Bombers - These violent crazies view the refusal of the masses to adopt their religious OS views as justification for endless abuse, because calling people "stupid", "sheep", "frightened", etc. is obviously the best way to convert them. [roll eyes] They are so wrapped up in their nerd superiority, they fail to see how fundamentally harmful they are to their cause.

Both camps share an elitist arrogance, but while the Mac hippies promise an iLife of leisure and creativity, weaving podcasts and blogs, the Linux jihadists offer endless flagellation with barbed chains as the path to spiritual purity and if anyone doesn't see the appeal of this lifestyle, well, they're just missing out on the fun.

Pffft. I just want to do stuff and play games. Bashing a shell isn't fun. Recompiling a kernel isn't entertainment. People who put enough gear in their garages to supply a NASCAR team – if you own an engine lift, seek therapy – shouldn't sneer at those who go to the QuikeeLube and the Linux r-tards should get over themselves and simply be *superior* in silence.

Nuff said!

If Dems Ran The Revolutionary War

Ryskind strikes again and scores!

How Can Dems Stand Up To Terror When They Can't Face Brit Hume?

That the Democratic Party is a herd of corrupt, unprincipled losers is old news. That they're terrified of debating on Fox News Channel has been covered here as well. But as the announcement of the six remaining debates shows, they're still unwilling to go on the highest-rated cable news channel for fear of no getting the underhanded softballs the reliably-in-their-corner Treason Media channels toss them.

The Democratic National Committee has officially announced "the dates, media sponsors and cities for the six DNC sanctioned debates."

CNN and NBC get two and ABC and CBS get one each. Fox News isn't included.

Liberals repeatedly spew the lie that the Treason Media isn't overwhelmingly biased in their favor, preferring to rant about how FNC is a "GOP propaganda organ" when their real complaint is their monopoly on the dissemination of information has been broken. Life was so simple and people were more easily controlled when they could determine what people heard and thought about it.

In contrast to the yellow Dems, the Stupid Party held their first debate a couple of weeks ago on MSNBC, home of former Dem apparatchik Chris Matthews and supremely insane Dubya-hater Keith Olberman. Matthews' idea of questions for the Leader of the Free World wannabes was tripe like, "Wouldn't it be great if Bill Clinton was in the White House?" and "Should Scooter Libby be pardoned?" - all fascinating to a backward-looking dumbass like Matthews, but useless to voters who may wish to learn something about the candidates.

But, the Stupid Partiers put up with it, something that the quisling Dems haven't the stones to match. What the hell are they afraid of? Being asked how they'd protect the country in a time of war or sustain the economy with all their grand schemes to raise taxes and lard even more socialism onto the books? Are they afraid that if they answer in a way that panders to their barking moonbat base, they'll alienate the sane viewers and vice versa? Better to hide than face up to the risks, isn't it?

North Korea and Iran are seeking nuclear weapons in order to bully the world into submitting to their reign of terror. How can Obama or Clinton or the Silky Pony and the rest of the dwarfs make the claim that they're up to the task when they can't face the likes of Brit Hume for 90 minutes of questions?

===============

UPDATE: Check out this montage of questions from the first (MSNBC) and second (FNC) Stupid Party debates and see how the liberal spin that Fox News is in the tank for the Stupid Party is a lie and get a sense of why the Dems are terrified of facing hard questions on their way to holding power.

Obi-Wan Kenobi Buys A Used Car

Don't know where this is from, but it's cute.

Back Off!!!! She's Mine!!!!

It's so good to see that Jessica Alba-Belligerent has finally gone back to her dark roots. Presenting Dirk's Dish Du Week:



I'll be in my bunk.

Kitten vs. Huskie!!!

Husky Vs Cat - video powered by Metacafe

"I've Seen Everything. I've Seen It All."

Can't embed this here, so take the hyperlink expressway over to YouTube to see Patrick Stewart's guest shot on "Extras". I've had the audio, but this is the first time I've seen the video, too. Good stuff.

Dragonforce Rocks!!!

I have no idea who these guys are, what their music really sounds like and why someone had it in for them enough to make this video, but it made me laugh until I was in tears, so I just had to share.

If anyone could explain the deal with these guys in the Backtalks, I'd appreciate it.

==================

UPDATE: It seems that Cracked has named their album, "Inhuman Rampage", the Most Unintentionally Funny Album of 2006, even going so far as to chart the word usage in the lyrics:



While you're there, make sure to check out the video for their wanktastic shred exhibition.

Spiderman 3: The Cliffs Notes Version

A co-worker IMed this over to me.

Spiderman 3 Cliffs:

Mary Jane: Do You Love me?!
Peter: Yes. No. Maybe! I don't know. I think so!
Sandman: RARRRRRRRRRRRR!
Peter: Fuck you dude
Mary Jane: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Topher: I left That 70's Show for this! I fucking hate Spiderman now.
Emo Peter: LOL I'm dark now, ur ded Sandman!
Mary Jane: You've changed and I still don't know if you love me!
Emo Peter: OMG ur right, I have to stop this!
Topher: Awesome I'm CG now

Fin.

Well, he may've just saved me 2-1/2 hours this weekend!

Marvel vs. DC (Mac Ad Spoof)

09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0 - Pass It On!

While illegal immigrants filled the streets to demand free goodies as a reward for their invading America and the Democrats sent their surrender bill to Dubya for his veto, a quiet uprising against the power-mad asstacklers in control of the entertainment business has been going on in the form of the alpha-numeric code in this post's title.

I'm not going to explain what it's about - you're bright enough to use Google if you found your way here - but merely posting these letters and numbers may constitute a felony, so spread them everywhere you can so that the alternatives are to incarcerate the entire world or to slap some reality into the heads of the powers that be and the powers that be bought and sold by the powers that be.

I'd Go To The Movies More If I Could Do This!

If It's [Any]day, It's Time For THE COUG!

Guess who dropped by?

[18:10] THE COUG!: rain on the scarecrow.
[18:10] THE COUG!: blood on the plow.
[18:10] THE COUG!: your friend, john cougar mellencamp.
[18:10] dirkbelig: CHILI DOG, BITCH!!!
[18:11] dirkbelig: TASTEE FREEZE, MOFO!!!!
[18:11] THE COUG!: a/k/a little johnny cougar THE COUG!
[18:11] THE COUG!: rain on the scarecrow.
[18:11] THE COUG!: blood on the plow.
[18:11] THE COUG!: your friend, john cougar mellencamp.
[18:11] dirkbelig: R.O.C.K. IN THE U.S.A., YOU GODLESS COMMIE!!!!!
[18:11] THE COUG!: a/k/a little johnny cougar THE COUG!
[18:11] THE COUG!: rain on the scarecrow.
[18:11] THE COUG!: blood on the plow.
[18:11] THE COUG!: your friend, john cougar mellencamp.
[18:12] THE COUG!: a/k/a little johnny cougar THE COUG!
[18:12] dirkbelig: JACK AND DIANE SHOULD'VE BEEN JANE AND DIANE. FAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAP!!!!
[18:12] Meebo Message: THE COUG! has left your page

If this yoyo ever responds to my retorts, I'll probably die of shock. BRING IT ON!!!!

Hottie Hotterson's Loser Cheer!

If there was ever a time that subscribing to a "strong family values" philosophy could become a major inconvenience, this is it.

The idea is silly; the cheer is lame; but the sight of Hottie Hotterson - aka Michelle Malkin, the World's Hottest Conservative Pundit - in a miniskirt...priceless. (Go ahead and mute the sound and enjoy.)



Absolutely MILFtastic!

In case you're watching at work and need to get some coffee and don't want a tent pole which could lead to a sexual harrassment claim, here is a shot of the Great Dane, er, Grand Dame of the Washington Treason Media corps, Helen Thomas, to soften you up:



Whoops! Wrong picture! Here's the right one:

"Spiderman 3" Is Just Too Damn Pro-American, Dammit!!!

Or so says this asstackling critic for the London Times:

Also disappointing is the inability of the director, Sam Raimi, to end the romp without a fleeting shot of the American flag. The Stars and Stripes just happens to be fluttering behind Spidey as he makes his triumphal return to honour, probity and good honest fist-fighting.

Damn that Raimi!!! How DARE he clutter the screen with pro-American iconography!!! How DARE he portray an American superhero who works the mean streets of (and skies over) New York as being something other than a mushy "citizen of the world"?!?!? The GALL!!!!

I really disliked the first Spiderdork flick and thought the second was a big improvement, though hardly the equal of the "X-Men" films (even the third one), only comparing well to its lame predecessor. While I'll be catching this one, I'm not stoked for it like I was for "Grindhouse" - not that that wasn't a big letdown, no thanks to Tarantino crawling up his ass for the first hour of his half. The buzz is good on SM3, but it's coming from people who loved the first two, so it's worthless to me.

If that tea/douchebag Leo Lewis can't stand seeing an American flag in a movie without it being in flames or modified with a swastika, he can always go and watch "Superdude's Back" which neutered the Man of Steel into a less jingoistic fighter for "...Truth, Justice, and all that stuff" in order to less offend the rest of the world which supposedly hates us, but still wants to come here.

"This Is Rock 'n' Roll!"

More reason why Godzilla keeps stomping the place.

I'm Missing The Yahoo Porn Spammers 'Round 'Bout Now...

...cuz THE COUG! isn't a very good conversationalist.

[16:19] THE COUG!: rain on the scarecrow.
[16:19] THE COUG!: blood on the plow.
[16:19] THE COUG!: your friend, john cougar mellencamp.
[16:19] dirkbelig: TASTEE FREEZE!!!
[16:19] dirkbelig: CHILI DOG, BITCH!!!!
[16:19] THE COUG!: a/k/a little johnny cougar THE COUG!
[16:19] THE COUG!: rain on the scarecrow.
[16:19] THE COUG!: blood on the plow.
[16:19] dirkbelig: ROCK IN THE USA!!!!
[16:19] THE COUG!: your friend, john cougar mellencamp.
[16:19] THE COUG!: a/k/a little johnny cougar THE COUG!
[16:19] dirkbelig: LITTLE PINK BITCHES, HOUSE!!!!
[16:20] Meebo Message: THE COUG! has left your page

At least the Anonymous Pussies who try to bait me in the Backtalks have a little variety in their taunts.

A Comment On Comments.

On the last item, about THE COUG! spamming the Meebo, I received a comment from an Anonymous Pussy asking about the surge in Iraq. What that has to do with THE COUG!, I'm uncertain, but I replied that preliminary results are promising, but the Treason Media was deliberately downplaying anything that contradicted their predetermined storyline of failure and defeat.

The AP then replied with an unsourced and probably context-distorted piece which supposedly proved that all is lost and blah-blah-woof-woof. It's all sneering ad hominems with the Left. They simply can't discuss anything politely because they're so mad with BDS.

Since the comments weren't backed up with anything to verify them against and they were off-topic, I deleted them all. I figured that this Anonymous Pussy would fill his diaper and within a short time, I wasn't disappointed.

I see my post has disappeared. Just as I suspected. Afraid to be shown up as the ignorant person you are. Afraid of the truth. Afraid to engage in debate with someone who actually knows what they are talking about. That's OK. Continue to wallow in your loud mouthed ignorance. Then run away scared and delete your posts and mine when you are shown to be wrong. For a minute there I actually thought you had some balls. You remind me of Fonzie - "I was wr-wr-wr. I was wr-wr-wr." Say it Dirk - "I was wrong!"

The surge is working. Yeah, hello. If only it were true. History has caught up with you. To bad you are not man enough to admit it. Go on now - run away scared like one of your cats.

Isn't it amusing that this Anonymous Pussy accuses me of being unwilling to debate and being afraid of the truth when instead of commenting on on-topic news items or e-mailing me directly at the address provided, he merely lobs specious tinfoil grenades with no way of replying directly. Anyone can set up a free-mail account with which to hide their identity if what they have to share is so crucial, but this Anonymous Pussy doesn't want to be bothered.

Nope, this brave ideological warrior doesn't want anyone to refute his lies in open debate. I've torn this guy (and his sound-alike kin) new ones so many times it's almost pitiful to see them slamming against the rocks of Truth and Reality. Unlike liars like Frank Bitch and Rosie O'Dumbass, there's no need to fabricate the insane words of the Left when they so are so willing to step up and proclaim their unhinged rage, hatred and disassociation with reality.

Who's afraid? Me or the Anonymous Pussy who refuses to even argue where people can argue back? When you've got the Truth on your side, what is there to be afraid of, eh, Mr. Anonymous Pussy?

Future off-topic comments will be rejected. I've got no problem with discussing issues that I haven't had time to post about. If an interesting debate occurs offline, I'll post it here if it's enlightening. No harm can come from learning the Truth, no matter where it leads. However, lies, spin and delusions will be righteously smacked down with cheer and glee.

John Cougar Ain't Big On The Chatting

As noted below, someone gave sanctimonious Hoosier John Mellencamp Intarweb access and he's been bombing the Meebo with the same posts over and over. A few times I've caught the incoming messages and tried to engage the doof whose initials are the same as a Marshall amp line with little success. A typical exchange:

[17:43] THE COUG!: rain on the scarecrow.
[17:43] THE COUG!: blood on the plow.
[17:43] THE COUG!: your friend, john cougar mellencamp.
[17:43] dirkbelig: JACK AND DIANE, BITCH!!!!
[17:43] THE COUG!: a/k/a little johnny cougar THE COUG!
[17:44] dirkbelig: CHILI DOG!!!!
[17:44] dirkbelig: TASTEE FREEZE!!!!!
[17:44] Meebo Message: THE COUG! has left your page

Well, I guess this is better than trying to pick up sheriff's deputies online.

No One Died From Being Called A "Nappy-Headed Ho"

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Twitter Be Gone

Blink and you missed it. I've taken Twitter off the site because as lame as I suspected it to be when I put it on, in practice, it was even lamer. I barely have time to update Dirkworld with relevant news and commentary much less keep a browser open to post "I'm not updating Dirkworld." so that everyone else can know that I'm not doing anything.

If someone wants to know what I think, they can find their way here or catch me on the various IM services I use. I simply lack the narcissistic hubris to think that people are breathlessly awaiting instantaneous real-time updates about what I'm up to. Try not to cry.

All A-Twitter

I've added one of those Twitter things at right. I'm not sure how long I'll keep it because it strikes me as more than a little retarded. Do people REALLY want to know what I'm doing at all times? Am I going to actually update the thing when I can hardly post the important news and commentary of the day here? Hmmmm....

I need some coffee.

Who Gave John Cougar A Computer?

While there have been a couple of nice folks who took advantage of the Meebo chat widget at right to reach out and touch me - you know what I mean - I've had several incidents of this popping up when I've logged into Meebo:

[14:52] meeboguest611858: rain on the scarecrow.
[14:52] meeboguest611858: blood on the plow.
[14:52] meeboguest611858: your friend, john cougar mellencamp.
[14:52] meeboguest611858: a/k/a little johnny cougar THE COUG!

I guess I should be happy it's not "The Hoff", but come on.

The Shariafication of History

England is lost. If not lost, then damn near it as their school's teachers drop the Holocaust to avoid offending Muslims.

Schools are dropping the Holocaust from history lessons to avoid offending Muslim pupils, a Governmentbacked (sic) study has revealed.

It found some teachers are reluctant to cover the atrocity for fear of upsetting students whose beliefs include Holocaust denial.

There is also resistance to tackling the 11th century Crusades - where Christians fought Muslim armies for control of Jerusalem - because lessons often contradict what is taught in local mosques.

The report concluded: "In particular settings, teachers of history are unwilling to challenge highly contentious or charged versions of history in which pupils are steeped at home, in their community or in a place of worship."

Versions of history? WTF is that?!?!? History IS what happened, not what some medieval gang of throat-cutting jihadists want to program their children with.

If Christians want to have Creationism or intelligent design covered in schools as a countering opinion as to how all the stuff in the Universe happened, they're howled down and driven out of the classrooms as a threat to science. But if we're talking Muslim attitudes, the school authorities can't bend over and grab their ankles fast enough in a display of dhimmitude before the Religion of Peace.

How can we expect "moderate Muslims" to restrain the radical elements when Western society has no stomach to speak Truth to revisionist history?