Friday, June 20, 2008

Ferris Bueller Requiem For A Day Off

It's well known that editing and music can make or break the mood of a film and this mashup is a good example. It's not your typical "wacky" thing, but still quite cool.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

File Under: Stuff You Can Keep

You know why this video isn't from anywhere in America? Because there aren't lawyers camped where the walkway is MISSING soliciting people to fall in order to provide cause for negligence lawsuits.

Supermodel Ice Cream Server!

Last year, I wrote about a girl at a Costco I patronize whom I'd labeled "Supermodel Cashier"* Tonight, I found a companion for her in the Pantheon of women not utilizing their assets to the fullest.

I was at Coldstone Creamery cashing in the free ice cream coupon they'd sent for my birthday. There must be an ordinance on this side of town that only really cute girls may work at the ice cream shoppes and this place is no exception; notable because the girls are exceptionally thin and athletic-looking as if they don't eat what they serve.

The girl who waited on me was outlandishly tall (I'm 6'3" and notice such things) and had a good figure, including her butt (aka booty, bootay, ass, biscuit, rump) which a lot of tall girls lack. As she mixed up my cookie dough concoction, I asked how tall she was. "Six feet tall," she replied.

Me: "You probably get asked this all the time, but...

Her: "No. I have no eye-hand coordination."

Me: "Huh? No. What did you thing I was asking?"

She shook her head. It was about five minutes until closing.

Me: "I was going to ask if you'd ever done any modeling?"

She shook her head no, but what was odd was that she acted as if she'd never even heard of such a thing. I thought women were aware (if not overly obsessed) with their looks and unless she has some body dysmorphia issues or lives in a world without mirrors, how could she not notice that she was sorta unique? I couldn't get a good look at her face - she had her hair up and hat pulled down and I didn't want to scare her by letching at her; I'm old enough to be her father - but she was certainly not one who should be living under a bridge and hassling billy goats.

* In a follow-up, I mentioned I hadn't seen her, but a few months later I saw her once working, but not again. She looked heavier and Hermione theorizes she may've had a kid. Hmmmm....

UPDATE (7/8/2008): Supermodel Cashier was spotted at work last week when we were there. Supermodel Ice Cream Server is much hawter.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Ostrich Egg vs. Microwave....WHO YA GOT?!?

While idly perusing this collection of 20 videos of morons people nuking stuff they shouldn't oughta, this was the capper.

How Are We Supposed To Find This Kid With This Description?!?

I was just checking my MySpace and noticed they had an Amber Alert for a kid missing less than five hours ago. (That they consider a place approx 90 mins. away from Chez Dirk to be "in your area" is another matter.) Here is the total alert. What crucial piece of information is missing from this picture?

Missing From: 730 West Maple Street, Lansing, MI
Missing Date: 6/17/2008 12:00 AM

Contact: Lansing Police Department

Circumstances: The Lansing Police Department is investigating an incident of an endangered missing child last seen in the area of 730 West Maple Street, the Mid Michigan Academy, in Lansing, MI. The child was last seen at 15:35 PM on 6/17/08 and is believed to be in extreme danger.

Missing Child
Name: Dianna Rose Windowmaker
Hair Color: Black Eye Color: Brown
Age: 10YO
Height: 5FT1 Weight: 90LBS
Gender: Female
Description: Wearing a pink jacket, blue jean skirt, black stretch pants

Name: Unknown Unknown
Age: 40YO
Height: 6FT
Gender: Male
Description: Wearing a black tshirt, blue jeans, black "doo rag" under a black ball cap
Spot the missing detail yet? Here's a hint: Politically Correct Crime Reporting? See the missing item now?


Actually, the fact that they've omitted the racial details pretty much guarantees they're both black, but how is the interest in "protecting the children" served when white liberal guilt and fear of appearing "racist" prevents basic details from being included? I'm a few inches taller than this suspect, but other than the lack of a "doo rag" and ball cap, I match the description! Good thing I have an alibi!

Barack Obama is likely to get elected the 44th President of the United States because the Treason Media will not dare allow any criticism to touch their Anointed Obamessiah. Anyone who dares try to ask him about his radical extremists views, terrorist and criminal pals, or frightening naivety and general fecklessness, will be smeared as a racist. Guilty white liberals, who believe they can trade their votes for absolution for the seething racism that animates them, will bully everyone else into voting for Mr. Change! Hope! lest they get smeared as well.

And if little 10-year-old Dianna Rose Windowmaker has to be sacrificed on the Altar of Political Correctness in the Temple of Fascist Liberalism in order to assure the Obamessiah's ascendancy to the Throne of Power, then so be it!

Ugh. Our culture and society are just slashing away at their wrists, aren't they?

Puppies Play in Toronto!

I picked up one of those Flip Video Ultra flash-memory based cameras for our trip last week to the North by Northeast music conference and for what it is - a bone-simple, zero-feature, P&S unit that is less than $150; IOW a toy - it's surprisingly capable. (NY Times video review here.) Low-light images aren't too noisy, the mike doesn't turn into distorted mush when hit with rock band volumes, it boots in about 4 seconds, and it's so light, I carried it in my cargo shorts pocket all weekend in case something cool popped up like a bunch of puppies in a park we saw.

Cute, eh? For those interested in the editing, all of these shots came from a single shot that ran just under three minutes. The dogs were just running all over and I grabbed action as I saw it. The black dog that bookends the clip was sitting there unbothered by the commotion of the other pups and having a camera held inches from its nose. Wild.

What I love most about the Flip is that there's no waiting for tape to ingest in real time. I'd get in from the club, drag-and-drop the 3ivx AVI files to my laptop and I'm chopping away in less than five minutes. I hope that [Panasonic] P2 et al solid-state/HD-based catch on faster and cheaper soon because the interminable process of loading tape is the reason why I've got boxes of unedited footage; I just don't have the patience to hassle with it. I want to get to work, not mine the ore for a couple of days. Yeah, it's lame, but it's not like I've got an assistant editor to do it for me. :(

Monday, June 16, 2008

Why David Letterman Rules #3,672,941

I never thought I'd hit a point where I was totally oblivious about some sort of pop culture phenomenon. Sure, I may not know much or really care about Disney Channel stuff like Hannah Montana or various "reality television" (the greatest oxymoron ever) shows, but I'm usually vaguely aware of what's going on, but I must admit I haven't the foggiest notion as to what the holy fook "The Hills" is or is about? I guess it's some sort of fake/real "reality" show on MTV - that explains it, I stopped watching when I realized there wasn't any "M" stuff anymore (same as VH1) - and everyone really gives a smoking sack of manure about it judging from all the magazine covers these twits are inhabiting.

Judging from the way David Letterman monkeyslaps this toolbox from the show, I ain't missing much. Glad to see Dave's having none of this nonsense either.

(h/t: WWTDD)

Saturday, June 07, 2008

Obama On Your Shoulder!

Cutie conservative blogger Mary Catherine Ham - what are the odds she's Irish Catholic? - has apparently gotten hired by the Washington Examiner and thus is ceasing her v/blogging career, but she signs off with a funny folksy slap at Obama's fascist attitudes about how we should live our lives. Check it out! (Doesn't she look a little like a younger, thinner, cuter Kim Deal?)

Friday, June 06, 2008

20 Funniest Newspaper Headlines Ever

According to these guys, that is.

What are the odds of that?

Information Superhighway Robbery!

Hermione and I booked our accommodations last night for our trip next week to Toronto for NXNE. Since we'd done quite well with Hotwire, we went that route again. Last year, we scored a room at the Westin Harbor Castle - which sits on Lake Ontario at the foot of Yonge St. - for $76/day though taxes and parking drove the final ticket up to $120/day. Because you don't know where you'll be staying until AFTER you book the trip and pay for it, there is an element of gambling, but the star ratings are helpful that it will be at least of a certain quality.

We got the Hilton this time and it's proximity to the conference site and other activities is quite good. We may be able to walk to most things instead of needing to drive and that good. The reviews at Trip Advisor are pretty depressing and negative with lots of complaints of shoddy, dirty rooms and poor service, but the Westin also had lousy reviews and turned out to be probably the best hotel we've ever stayed in. We didn't have a single significant complaint about our stay.

But one...

We've usually stayed at the Courtyard Marriott or Day's Inn and both of those joints provide FREE broadband Internet service; Day's Inn was wireless, Courtyard wired. However, the Westin and now the Hilton both charge ~$15 per day(!!!) for their web access and that's somewhere between obscene and killing-worthy. I pay $62 per month for my 6 Mbps connection and I'm supposed to pay 3/4 of that for three frakking days?!? I know they're doing this to gouge the business travelers, but it's a joke. Last year, I got lucky and was able to piggyback on some Apple user (heh) on the floor below, but that only lasted a couple of days before they checked out.

Now, if the room was $90/day and had *free* Intarwebz would I be so chapped about it? Probably not. We're used to paying in the neighborhood of $110-$120 per night for a room, so a nice room for a higher price with *free* web would seem like a deal, but since I can see how the sausage is being made, I'm going to have to find alternate means of connection and that frankly sucks. Yes, it's a mental hangup, but it's also a gank by the hotels. The normal rack rate for these places is $240-$320/night and considering that like what I pay for rent, it makes the omission of free Net all the more galling.

UPDATE: I was able to hop on an open wifi connection that I was able to snag on the 15th floor, though it was spotty. When I did trivia, I took my laptop to the sushi place and surfed a solid open signal. It worked out and the Hilton - who clearly aren't spending the Intarwebz access grift on carpet shampooing; ugh - didn't get a cent off me.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Is History Repeating with the Obamessiah?

For all the blather about the Barack Obama representing "CHANGE!" and "HOPE!", there is something awful familiar about the guy. Hmmmmm, what could it be?

Dirk's Dish du Jour: Grace Park

I've mentioned "Battlestar Galactica" hottie Grace Park as a DDDJ before (I'd link it, but the picture went missing - Google images has a zillion copies; go get 'em) and for the longest time, the only real cheesecake shots of her were from a few year old Maxim shoot. Well, she's done a layout for Complex magazine and it's quite nice.

As I said, it's nice. What's not nice is that there are outfits shown in this video which aren't included. Curses!

BTW, if you haven't been watching BSG this season, you've been missing out.