Monday, January 29, 2007

Reach Out and Touch Me With Meebo!

If you'll look to your right, you'll see that a new widget has been added above my XBL gamercard which allows visitors to directly IM me if I'm logged into Meebo - - which is a web-based way to log into your IM apps like AIM without needing to install anything.

If I'm sitting around and am not busy, why not send a shout-out? I was going to post up the first message I received, but I had a glitch and it got lost before I could copy it. A visitor was complaining that the posts have gotten lame as the usual liberal smackdowns have been scarce and replaced by lots of cute cat videos.

I apologize for the lack of the usual DIRK® commentary, but I've simply hadn't had the time. I started a rather substantial Morning Coffee post two Fridays ago and it's still in my Draft folder. :( There is plenty to comment on, but only so many hours in the day. I suggest that readers curious as to what's being filed for later reference to check out my list to see what I've wanted to post about, but haven't yet. I also need to get the Feedburner links back in that were deleted when I switched to the new Blogger system.

Thank you for your patience, but remember, you're getting exactly what you're paying for! ;-)

Saturday, January 27, 2007

What If Ferris Bueller Was Really Sick?

Yet another brilliant trailer recut:

Movie trailers are the purest form of false advertising and these recuts make them even bigger lies. Neat.

Friday, January 26, 2007

Saving Private Nemo

Who thinks up this stuff?

Thursday, January 25, 2007

RoboCop, PhD

Wired reports what actor Peter Weller has been doing lately: Working toward a PhD in Italian Renaissance art history from UCLA!

Dirk® vs. Yahoo Sex Drone (1/25/07 Edition)

[10:39] lisalisaxa2: hi... anyone theree?

[10:39] DirkBelig: Allahu Akbar!!!

[10:41] lisalisaxa2: oh your therre :) hi...
[10:41] lisalisaxa2: a/s/l (ate sex location)?
[10:41] lisalisaxa2: imm 27/f/USA. was lookin at your profile. thought you might like to chat.
[10:41] lisalisaxa2: so what havr you been up to dirkbelig?

[10:41] DirkBelig: 69/M/Dirkworld - Up to no good.

[10:42] lisalisaxa2: cool. i was just hangin out watching tv. i was getting kinda horny :) (*bblushes)

[10:42] DirkBelig: Sex is the pathway to Hell. That's why I indulge as frequently (and freakily) as I can!

[10:42] lisalisaxa2: feel like a little cyber funn with me ? please please...

[10:43] DirkBelig: I've been trying to cut down on the cyborg sex, unlike you're like that hot Boomer Cylon on BSG.

[10:44] lisalisaxa2: i think ill just take that as a yes... being as that im starting to get real horny here.. lol ok?

[10:44] DirkBelig: Are you a Cylon?

[10:44] lisalisaxa2: alright :) how bout i get down on my knees in front of you and help you out of your pants?

[10:45] DirkBelig: I'm wearing a kilt.

[10:45] lisalisaxa2: just lounging around in my undies... u?

[10:48] DirkBelig: The kilt. And a Viking Helmet. Of course, swim fins.
[10:52] DirkBelig: Did that turn you on too much, baby?
[10:54] *** lisalisaxa2 has been ignored.


No time for love, Dr. Jones!

Monday, January 22, 2007

When Cats Attack!!!

This is a great example of how music sets the mood.


Thursday, January 18, 2007


No, not the teen-trash classic that starred Jodie Foster or what those wild and crazy Festrunk brothers used to exclaim on "SNL", but a real red fox is what I just saw while approaching work. It crossed in front of my UAV and then doubled back to hang near the edge of a sunflower field. It's very built up with offices and malls, but there apparently is enough woody area for them to live.

As I came in, a co-worker passed me in the hall and asked if I saw the foxes (plural) and after telling him that it was a relief that I hadn't just hallucinated my sighting, he said that there were a pair in the parking lot and that he was able to approach one, almost able to pet it, it was so tame. I laughed that it would've served him right if the fox had bitten his arm off.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Hispanic! At The Disco!!!!


Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Dirk's Dish Du Jour: Grace Park

I've just started watching the first season of the revamped "Battlestar Galactica" and just adore Grace Park, who plays Boomer, the pilot who doesn't (yet) know she's a Cylon. Too bad she doesn't appear like this more on the show instead of in her space pilot duds:

Worst part? She's married! Drat!!! 5'9", 32 years old and MARRIED! FRAK!!!!

Monday, January 15, 2007

Why MLK Day Isn't A Real Holiday

Today is the 78th birthday of Martin Luther King Jr. and there's no mail delivery and I've got the day off. But for all the trappings of a national holiday, it really doesn't match up to other holidays for one glaring reason:

There aren't any sales for it.

Until the good Reverend has his visage splashed in television ads with a "Clutch Cargo"-style mouth superimposed, announcing that "Mattress delivery is FREE AT LAST!" at the Mattress Warehouse (like they do with Washington and Lincoln on President's Day sales), it's not going to be as significant a date as other holidays.

Now, the natural response is to say, "But Dr. King was a special person for whom cheesy sales would be disrespectful," but what were our Presidents? Oh, that's right, they were Evil White Men - and in the case of Washington and Jefferson, slave owners - and thus unworthy of any reverence. Dr. King deserves better. Uh-huh...and what of the birthday of our Lord and Savior, the only begotten Son of God, Jesus Christ?!? No one has a problem with commercializing his birth over the complaints of the faithful.

The lack of sales isn't a sign of respect; it's further discrimination. Until Dr. King is exploited to the same extent that Christmas and other holidays are, his birthday will remain in the back of the holiday bus.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Ex-Playmate Reveals Playboy Mansion Secrets

Stepping Out magazine had an interview with...

Jill Ann Spaulding, a stunning professional poker player with all the obvious attributes that one might find inside Hef's stable of potential Playmates, has written a tell-all book entitled, "Jill Ann: Upstairs."

Spaulding pulls no punches as she reveals what really goes on behind Hef's closed doors. Shocking and dangerous sexual practices, misguided and backstabbing young women echo through the infamous mansion's halls... and that's just the tip of the iceberg!
Read the gory details here.

It's interesting that after decades of feminism and girl power hype, there are still legions of women who are willing to whore themselves for money and fame. You've come a long way baby!

Saturday, January 13, 2007

The Worst Model Pose!!! Stop This!!!

UPDATE 11/1/2013: I totally forgot I made this post until someone commented today. It's funny to see that nearly 7 years ago, this pose was bugging me and continued to bug me until I created in September 2012 Pooping In High Heels, a Tumblr dedicated to this dumb pose and for which I made the below image its 100th post. Cherkitert!
I posted an item about this a couple of years ago, but the picture didn't show properly and I never went back to fix it, but seeing this made me realize this problem is still out of control. What does it look like she's saying?

That's right: "Wheeeeee!!! I'm pooping!!!!"

Over and over, otherwise babalicious ladies are squatting in their stilletos and looking like they're joyously pinching off a loaf. With all the other depravity and decadence that is being mainstreamed by the degenerates who dare, DARE, anyone to speak against them, can't we all be in agreeance that this is something that we should do something about? Thank you.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Gollum Sings Barry White!!!

The creativity of the people who cook these things up never ceases to amaze me.

Play it for your special lady friend! You're welcome!

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Revenge of the Mashed-Up Album Covers!

While not as utterly brilliant as "Album Cover Apocalypse",'s forum image challenge has some bloody clever entries:

Take a classic album sleeve, alter the title of the record to give the disc a whole new spin, then 'shop the results.

It's "Not Another Teen Movie" - The Home Game!

See how many super-cheesy '80s clichès you can find in this four-minute homage to the decade of the montage.

Most impressive thing to me is how many extras this had.

Monday, January 08, 2007

Remember When Reporters Used To Just Report?

Time magazine has switched from coming out on Monday to a Friday street date. Why? Richard Stengel, managing editor says:

"I believe that getting the magazine on newsstands on Friday helps us set the news agenda."
Huh?!? WTF is a news magazine SETTING AN AGENDA?!? I thought the purpose of newspapers and news magazines was to tell us the who, what, where, when and occasionally why of stories, NOT to tell everyone else what we should be doing.

The real reason for this switch is to get the Left's talking points out and in the hands of the Sunday talking head interview shows so that Tim Russert et al will be able to ask (most likely) Stupid Partiers, "So, are you still beating your wife?"

Shiny or Daggy?

Well, the first round of tweakage is done. Any thoughts as to the look? Don't be shy in leaving some feedback. Thanks.

Pardon The Dust...

Blogger has upgraded their service and made it easier to modify things, but you kind of have to destroy the village to save the village and as a result, things are going to look a little goofy until I get done sorting things out. However, the all-important words will remain readable, so just cope with the aesthetics for the time being. Thank you.

Cat Massage!!!

Man, as lousy as things are in the world, I just am not in the mood to dwell upon it all at the moment, so here's another wacky video with a cat in it. Cheers!

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Watch Out!!! Crazy Cat!!!!

I need to go to bed.

In Case You're Wondering....

...what's up with all the goofy posts? Where's the old familiar belligerent Dirk stuff? Well, I'm sleepy and more in the mood for goofy than depressing myself over the latest sellouts and failure of Team Dubya and the Stupid Party. Things will still suck after a decent night's rest, so stay tuned.

Aiiieeee!!! Talking Cats!!!!

The one at the end reminds me of "Twin Peaks". Freaky!

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Top 10 Lamest Superheroes!

While new Fantastic Four and Spiderman movies are heading for the megaplexes this summer, The Pop Culture Addict looks at some unlamented doofs who won't be getting the celluloid treatment. With names like Matter Eater Lad, Arm Fall Off Boy (isn't that an emo band?) and The Legion of the Superpets, is there any doubt that DC isn't fit to wash Marvel's codpiece?

#6. Dogwelder - Dogwelder was a character from Garth Ennis' "Hitman" series. Dogwelder was part of a superhero team known as Section Eight which was a band of these crazy guys that fought crime in rather inane ways. Dogwelder is my favourite of the bunch. He's this madman in a silver welder's outfit that basically just goes around welding stray dogs to villains' faces. That's it. That's how he fought crime. Welding dogs to people. Mind you it would be a bitch of a thing to have happen to you. You try to rob a bank and you end up with a Lhasa Apso welded to your face, yapping for eternity. *shudder*
HTF do you WELD organic materials?!?

Miss? Please Stop Blowing Bubbles!

13 Photographs That Changed the World.

While the Treason Media has cheerfully perverted photography into "fauxtography", there was a time when images had an honest impact through their artistry or relevance. Neatorama has a bakers dozen to peruse, with some interesting info for each.

Philippe Halsman is quite possibly the only photographer to have made a career out of taking portraits of people jumping. But he claimed the act of leaping revealed his subjects’ true selves, and looking at his most famous jump, "Dalí Atomicus," it’s pretty hard to disagree.

The photograph is Halsman’s homage both to the new atomic age (prompted by physicist’ then-recent announcement that all matter hangs in a constant state of suspension) and to Dalí’s surrealist masterpiece "Leda Atomica" (seen on the right, behind the cats, and unfinished at the time). It took six hours, 28 jumps, and a roomful of assistants throwing angry cats and buckets of water into the air to get the perfect exposure.
Check 'em out, yo!

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Some Crazy Things That At Least We Can Laugh About

The world may be going to Hell, but at least we can take a moment to give thanks that we aren't the people responsible for stuff like:

Check 'em all out.

"What we need in New Year is some resolution"

So says the reliably brilliant Mark Steyn. I'm currently reading "America Alone" - the feel-scared book of the winter - and it's stunning how much of the world is willfully ignorant of the threat Islamofascism is and how it's growing like cancer within the West, but many don't want to see it because they've bought into the post-modern insanity of self-loathing that blinds people to the threat of Islamism because to oppose it would put them on the side of America and freedom. Some choice snips:

Mustaf Jama, a Somali ''asylum seeker'' in Britain wanted for the murder of a policewoman, fled the country by taking his sister's passport, wearing a niqab (the full Islamic head-to-toe get-up that covers everything but the eyes) and passing unhindered through the checkpoints at Heathrow.

How about that? It turns out we are profiling after all, but we're profiling everybody except Muslims. Your wizened l'il ol' gran'ma on a Yuletide break to London is bent double and out of breath struggling to take off her coat and shoes. The officials sternly scrutinize her passport to check that the picture matches her flustered and bewildered face. All around her hundreds of women are doing the same, mutely shuffling through the scanner in their stocking feet. But Britain's most wanted man is breezing through because he took the precaution of dressing as a Muslim woman. And it would be culturally insensitive to expose them to the same scrutiny as your gran'ma.

Many of us think about the long-term shifts necessary to win this struggle: euthanizing the United Nations and overhauling other malign and anachronistic institutions. Fat chance. Mustaf Jama's express check-out is the perfect parodic reductio of "security": The state is willing to inflict pointless bureaucratic discomfort and inconvenience on everyone else, but the demographic group with the most links to terrorism gets to go through the fast-track VIP channel.
He also discusses what's going on in Somalia as the Ethiopian army swept through and booted the Islamist forces there, though they'll surely be back.

At least the Ethiopian forces are allowed to fight without being placed in a straitjacket of white guilt that has caused the death toll in Iraq to roll past 3000 dead American soldiers. Either take the f*cking leash off our warriors or bring them home before more lives are wasted kissing the ass of the "religion of peace". Hear me Dubya?!?!?