Thursday, May 31, 2007

Hillary Quayle?

Actually, judging from the high-tech companies sponsoring whatever this event was, you'd think SOMEONE could've done a little proofreading.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Starboogie Nightwars!!!

The Greatest Movie Ever Made® gets mashed up with that movie featuring the second-most-famous guy named Dirk.

Who thinks up this stuff?

As If My Day Hasn't Been Sucking Enough...

...I had to see this:

OTOH, the odds are much higher that these little buggers are gonna get hit by a car as they dart across the road, so I guess this isn't too much to lose sleep over.

Friday, May 25, 2007

It Was 30 Years Ago Today...

May 25, 1977. The day that "Star Wars" - before growing the "- Episode IV: A New Hope" suffix - was released. The movie that changed my life. Period.

Instead of posting what would likely be the 100,000,000th reminiscence of where I was that summer, I'll just leave you with this picture of "Attack of the Show" host, Olivia Munn (on left)...

...and "The Vader Sessions"...

...which is frigging hysterical in spots. (The interrogation scene is just so wrong.)

May the Force be with you!!!

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!

That's what one California man would testify to if only his plot to kill his girlfriend didn't end with his death!

A CALIFORNIAN man who tried to kill his girlfriend by leaving her in a car parked across railway lines was himself killed when an oncoming train hurled the car into him as he fled.

His girlfriend survived, the Associated Press reported.

The man drove the car to the head of a line of traffic stopped at a level crossing in the San Fernando Valley neighbourhood of Sunland on Monday, police spokesman Mike Lopez said.

The man, who was seen arguing with the woman, then parked the car on the tracks and jumped out, leaving her behind, Mr Lopez said.

A 450-tonne commuter train hit the rear of the car, launching it into the man.

The girlfriend, who was injured , was taken to hospital in a stable condition.

"She gets hit by a train and lives. He gets hit by his own car and he dies,'' Mr Lopez said.
I know it's early, but the 2007 Darwin Award may be already clinched by this dope.

"Five crucial things the Linux community doesn't understand about the average computer user."

That's the title of a ZDNet blog post by Adrian Kingsley-Hughes and while he suggests that on the whole, users aren’t all that dissatisfied with Windows; there are too many distros; people want certainty that hardware and software will work; as far as most people are concerned, the command line has gone the way of the dinosaur; and Linux is still too geeky, he misses the big reason which I posted into the TalkBack:

Only Reason: Linux Maniacs Are Rude A-Holes!

All you have to do is read any ZDNet story TalkBack to see the same two mobs in action:

1. The Apple Cultists - These Kool-Aid engorged cows are so convinced that Steve Jobs is the representative of God on Earth and that anything more than one mouse button is the work of the Devil that they can't help but post "BUY A MAC! PROBLEM SOLVED!" to every thread. (If someone writes about pasta dishes, this is amended to "buy Mac & Cheese".)

B. The Linux Suicide Bombers - These violent crazies view the refusal of the masses to adopt their religious OS views as justification for endless abuse, because calling people "stupid", "sheep", "frightened", etc. is obviously the best way to convert them. [roll eyes] They are so wrapped up in their nerd superiority, they fail to see how fundamentally harmful they are to their cause.

Both camps share an elitist arrogance, but while the Mac hippies promise an iLife of leisure and creativity, weaving podcasts and blogs, the Linux jihadists offer endless flagellation with barbed chains as the path to spiritual purity and if anyone doesn't see the appeal of this lifestyle, well, they're just missing out on the fun.

Pffft. I just want to do stuff and play games. Bashing a shell isn't fun. Recompiling a kernel isn't entertainment. People who put enough gear in their garages to supply a NASCAR team – if you own an engine lift, seek therapy – shouldn't sneer at those who go to the QuikeeLube and the Linux r-tards should get over themselves and simply be *superior* in silence.
Nuff said!

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

If Dems Ran The Revolutionary War

Ryskind strikes again and scores!

How Can Dems Stand Up To Terror When They Can't Face Brit Hume?

That the Democratic Party is a herd of corrupt, unprincipled losers is old news. That they're terrified of debating on Fox News Channel has been covered here as well. But as the announcement of the six remaining debates shows, they're still unwilling to go on the highest-rated cable news channel for fear of no getting the underhanded softballs the reliably-in-their-corner Treason Media channels toss them.

The Democratic National Committee has officially announced "the dates, media sponsors and cities for the six DNC sanctioned debates."

CNN and NBC get two and ABC and CBS get one each. Fox News isn't included.
Liberals repeatedly spew the lie that the Treason Media isn't overwhelmingly biased in their favor, preferring to rant about how FNC is a "GOP propaganda organ" when their real complaint is their monopoly on the dissemination of information has been broken. Life was so simple and people were more easily controlled when they could determine what people heard and thought about it.

In contrast to the yellow Dems, the Stupid Party held their first debate a couple of weeks ago on MSNBC, home of former Dem apparatchik Chris Matthews and supremely insane Dubya-hater Keith Olberman. Matthews' idea of questions for the Leader of the Free World wannabes was tripe like, "Wouldn't it be great if Bill Clinton was in the White House?" and "Should Scooter Libby be pardoned?" - all fascinating to a backward-looking dumbass like Matthews, but useless to voters who may wish to learn something about the candidates.

But, the Stupid Partiers put up with it, something that the quisling Dems haven't the stones to match. What the hell are they afraid of? Being asked how they'd protect the country in a time of war or sustain the economy with all their grand schemes to raise taxes and lard even more socialism onto the books? Are they afraid that if they answer in a way that panders to their barking moonbat base, they'll alienate the sane viewers and vice versa? Better to hide than face up to the risks, isn't it?

North Korea and Iran are seeking nuclear weapons in order to bully the world into submitting to their reign of terror. How can Obama or Clinton or the Silky Pony and the rest of the dwarfs make the claim that they're up to the task when they can't face the likes of Brit Hume for 90 minutes of questions?


UPDATE: Check out this montage of questions from the first (MSNBC) and second (FNC) Stupid Party debates and see how the liberal spin that Fox News is in the tank for the Stupid Party is a lie and get a sense of why the Dems are terrified of facing hard questions on their way to holding power.

Obi-Wan Kenobi Buys A Used Car

Don't know where this is from, but it's cute.

Back Off!!!! She's Mine!!!!

It's so good to see that Jessica Alba-Belligerent has finally gone back to her dark roots. Presenting Dirk's Dish Du Week:

I'll be in my bunk.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Monday, May 07, 2007

"I've Seen Everything. I've Seen It All."

Can't embed this here, so take the hyperlink expressway over to YouTube to see Patrick Stewart's guest shot on "Extras". I've had the audio, but this is the first time I've seen the video, too. Good stuff.

Saturday, May 05, 2007

Dragonforce Rocks!!!

I have no idea who these guys are, what their music really sounds like and why someone had it in for them enough to make this video, but it made me laugh until I was in tears, so I just had to share.

If anyone could explain the deal with these guys in the Backtalks, I'd appreciate it.


UPDATE: It seems that Cracked has named their album, "Inhuman Rampage", the Most Unintentionally Funny Album of 2006, even going so far as to chart the word usage in the lyrics:

While you're there, make sure to check out the video for their wanktastic shred exhibition.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Spiderman 3: The Cliffs Notes Version

A co-worker IMed this over to me.

Spiderman 3 Cliffs:

Mary Jane: Do You Love me?!
Peter: Yes. No. Maybe! I don't know. I think so!
Peter: Fuck you dude
Topher: I left That 70's Show for this! I fucking hate Spiderman now.
Emo Peter: LOL I'm dark now, ur ded Sandman!
Mary Jane: You've changed and I still don't know if you love me!
Emo Peter: OMG ur right, I have to stop this!
Topher: Awesome I'm CG now

Well, he may've just saved me 2-1/2 hours this weekend!

Marvel vs. DC (Mac Ad Spoof)

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0 - Pass It On!

While illegal immigrants filled the streets to demand free goodies as a reward for their invading America and the Democrats sent their surrender bill to Dubya for his veto, a quiet uprising against the power-mad asstacklers in control of the entertainment business has been going on in the form of the alpha-numeric code in this post's title.

I'm not going to explain what it's about - you're bright enough to use Google if you found your way here - but merely posting these letters and numbers may constitute a felony, so spread them everywhere you can so that the alternatives are to incarcerate the entire world or to slap some reality into the heads of the powers that be and the powers that be bought and sold by the powers that be.