Four out of Five Pimps Register Democratic!

As do 78% of hookers!

Based on the prostitutes' voter registration cards, they're destined to become Obama girls in November. That's because 78 percent of them registered as Democrats. Countywide, Dems make up only about 62 percent of voters, according to the Division of Elections.

The Illinois senator also has the advantage with local "johns" -- 72 percent go Democratic. And convicted pimps: Four out of every five register Democratic. And for the most special of special interest groups -- male transvestite hookers -- they're batting a thousand for Dems, albeit in drag.

"For years and years we had politicians paying too much attention to hookers, so it's great to finally see hookers paying attention to politics," said Dan Fee, a top Philadelphia Democratic consultant who helped Obama's Pennsylvania primary campaign.

Any questions now as to why the Dems want to allow convicted felons to vote?

Why You Should Close Your Living Room Curtains.

I don't even want to know what this is about.

A Fort Wayne man was arrested Monday for felony Public Indecency after police saw him standing naked in the window of his home.

Around 10:30 p.m. Monday evening, a Fort Wayne officer was driving in the 4500 block of S. Hanna St. when he noticed a naked man standing in front of a large picture window of his home with his genital region clearly visible to those on the street.

According to the officer, the blinds were not pulled shut and the front door was wide open, giving a clear view inside the home.

Together, with another responding officer, the two walked up to the home and found the naked man, then on the couch, conducting a lewd act with a claw hammer, plastic bag and motor oil.

UPDATE: For those of you just dying to know what homeboy was doing with the implements mentioned above, The Smoking Gun has the police report in their item, awesomely entitled, "Stop. Hammer Time!"

20 Funniest Newspaper Headlines Ever

According to these guys, that is.

What are the odds of that?

Cute.

What Will Life Be Like in the Year 2008?

According to this article in the Nov. 1968 issue of Mechanix Illustrated:

IT’S 8 a.m., Tuesday, Nov. 18, 2008, and you are headed for a business appointment 300 mi. away. You slide into your sleek, two-passenger air-cushion car, press a sequence of buttons and the national traffic computer notes your destination, figures out the current traffic situation and signals your car to slide out of the garage. Hands free, you sit back and begin to read the morning paper—which is flashed on a flat TV screen over the car’s dashboard. Tapping a button changes the page.

OK, we don't have the air cars and domed cities and the population is 50 million less than predicted*, but wouldn't the Kindle match the description of that paper-reader? Check out the whole thing.

(h/t The Corner)

* Hey, anyone know how many abortions there have been since Roe v. Wade was decided? Could that be where those 50 million people went? Hmmm...

Greatest. Headline. Ever. (For Today, At Least)

Skywalkers in Korea Cross Han Solo

Simply brilliant!

(h/t The Corner)

Baby Pandas! Baby Pandas! Baby Pandas!

Gawker has a compilation of terrible CNN.com headlines like...





The latter one drew this comment:

"If mixing rape with romance is wrong, I don't wanna be right. They're my vodka and tonic."

Charming readers there.

(h/t: Digg)

Caption This Photo!

The wife of the "first black President" (who is currently leading a jihad against the first real black candidate with an actual shot at being elected) encountered this Elvis impersonator leading to this wonderful photo op:

"Secret Service!!! This n-word is touching me!!!! Get it off me!!! GET!! IT!!! OFF!!! ME!!!! Waaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!"

How long before a tape of her sounding like Dog the Bounty Hunter surfaces? Why do I know that even if that happened her share of the black vote would only decline to 85%?

Death of a Supermodel Bodyguard

I'd never heard of Anna Loginova before...



...but it's a little late to become a fan with this news:

Russia's most famous female bodyguard Anna Loginova has been killed after failing to prevent her own Porsche being carjacked.

The glamorous 29-year-old died from head injuries after clinging on to the door handle and being dragged along the street at high speed as the car screeched away.

"She suffered serious injuries and died at the scene," said a police spokesman.

To quote Ram praying at Heather Chandler's funeral in "Heathers", "Jesus, God in heaven, why'd you have to kill such hot snatch?"

Worst Contextual Ad Mess Up of All-Time!

Contextual ads are those things on web pages that seem to magically be related to the subject on the page so if you're reading about cars or video games you'll get car and game ads. I just noticed that my AdSense ads have disappeared - must've bollixed the code somehow - but when they were up, I would get pro-Democrat ads based on all the mentions of the word "Dem" on the page. Therein lies the problem of computer-placed ads.

Now, take a look at this pooch screw of story and advertising:



Yikes!

(h/t: Digg)

How To Survive a 47-Story Fall

Make sure you land on your feet.

Why Getting Foreign-Language Tattoos Isn't Very Smart.

I don't have any tattoos. There simply isn't anything important enough that I need it permanently inscribed onto my flesh. I don't have a problem with people who have intricately-done artistic tats, but waaaaaay too many people get stupid flash like the Tasmanian Devil or big, black "tribal" tattoos. That just announces, "I'm an idiot." before they open their noise holes.

The next level of dumb tattoos are the Asian characters people get. Some forgotten sitcom a couple years back played on this with a big macho black dude saying that it meant "fierce warrior" only to learn from the Chinese food delivery man that it really meant "He who lays with other men." Har-har.

A friend and his wife have several tattoos, but the kicker was when they got the Chinese figures for "man" and "woman" on the backs of their necks. I leaned over to Hermione and said, "Wouldn't it be funny if they actual said "asshole" and "slut"? (Note: It's a "Rocky Horror Picture Show" reference, not a commentary on their characters.)

What brings this up is this story about a dumb girl in love who decided to get her boyfriend du jour's name - they're now broken up; HA! - tattooed on her tummy only to learn that it actually meant "supermarket". Har-har^2.

Quand Drag Queens Attaque: Deuxième Partie!

Hot on the fabulous heels of this item comes word that French police detained a 'drag queen' over 18 gay murders.

French police have detained a 68-year-old man -- reported to be a 'drag queen' performer -- suspected of murdering 18 mainly homosexual men, a judicial source said Wednesday.

The murders were committed between 1980 and 2002 in eastern France and the Paris region.

With another wave of Muslim rioters shooting up the French gendarmes, there's a little irony that they've busted a guy for doing what the rioters would also like to do: kill homosexuals.

A commenter at Michelle Malkin's site suggested, "They should send in their battle-hardened Iraq War veterans to...oh, wait..." Heh.

Have you heard about the French guns? They've never been fired and only dropped once. Try the veal!

When Drag Queens Attack!!!

I'm thinking "LaToya: Queen of the Drive-Thru" here for some reason.

Think Your Boss Doesn't Know About Facebook?

Then try and call off work for a couple of days, making it sound like a family emergency when it's just a Halloween party you wanted to go to.

As a fairy princess.

When you're a guy.

Humiliatingly gory details are here. Heh.

Jimmy Carter: Cat Murderer!

Will PETA rise up to demand that his Nobel Peace Prize (for working toward the extermination of the Jews) be revoked?

I saw this letter yesterday in the Athenaeum, a private library and document collection in Eufaula, Alabama—just over the river and around the way from Jimmy’s home in Plains, Georgia. It’s addressed to his sister-in-law Sybil Carter, Billy’s widow.

5/13/90

To Sybil,

Lamentably, I killed your cat while trying just to sting it. It was crouched, as usual, under one of our bird feeders & I fired from some distance with bird shot. It may ease your grief somewhat to know that the cat was buried properly with a prayer & that I’ll be glad to get you another of your choice.

Love, Jimmy

Yeesh. Dick Cheney sprays a friend - who SURVIVES - and he never hears the end of it, but this peanut head gets to KILL a defenseless critter and he's the elder statesman of politics. Come to think of it, Ted Kennedy has a body count. What is it about Democrats and killing people?

Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!

That's what one California man would testify to if only his plot to kill his girlfriend didn't end with his death!

A CALIFORNIAN man who tried to kill his girlfriend by leaving her in a car parked across railway lines was himself killed when an oncoming train hurled the car into him as he fled.

His girlfriend survived, the Associated Press reported.

The man drove the car to the head of a line of traffic stopped at a level crossing in the San Fernando Valley neighbourhood of Sunland on Monday, police spokesman Mike Lopez said.

The man, who was seen arguing with the woman, then parked the car on the tracks and jumped out, leaving her behind, Mr Lopez said.

A 450-tonne commuter train hit the rear of the car, launching it into the man.

The girlfriend, who was injured , was taken to hospital in a stable condition.

"She gets hit by a train and lives. He gets hit by his own car and he dies,'' Mr Lopez said.

I know it's early, but the 2007 Darwin Award may be already clinched by this dope.