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McHatin sent this in.



KILLER!

Christmas with Master Chief

Hermione's taking down the Christmas decorations, so I had to take a snapshot of how my Master Chief cat helmet spent the holidays.

Tuesday Morning Coffee

JIHADIST IN MY BACKYARD UPDATE - The intellectually-crippling effects of political correctness and multi-culturalism are on full display in this vacuous Freep article which is headlined, "Armed student's motives unclear Dearborn."

His face painted black, Houssein Zorkot entered a park in east Dearborn Sept. 8, cocked an AK47 he had bought the same day, and then tried to flee police after they confronted him, authorities say.

Were those the actions of a confused young man or those of a potential terrorist with ill intentions?

Dearborn authorities say it's unclear what Zorkot, a 26-year-old medical student from Dearborn, was up to when he was in Hemlock Park armed with the AK47 he had purchased about 1 p.m. that day.

The FBI and police are investigating Zorkot, who appears sympathetic to Hizballah, a terrorist group. But for now, they've found no direct links between him and any terrorist organization, Dearborn Mayor John O'Reilly Jr. said. Dearborn police referred all calls to the mayor.

A reader's comment captures the reality disconnect nicely:

Let's flip this one around.

Let's say a 26 year old white male who had maintained a neo-nazi website was arrested stalking around a public park with an automatic weapon. Think that story would get much coverage? It would be on the front page of every local paper for days, and RIGHTFULLY SO.

Double standards are fun.

Yep. (h/t: Power Line)

ADRENALINE DODGE = TEH SUCK - Finally got past the T. Rex boss fight in Tomb Ho Anniversary last night after getting the hang of the new Adrenaline Dodge maneuver that replaced the cool bullet time kickoff effect from Tomb Ho Legend. I got so frustrated that I started checking online to see if others were having a problem with it. (Others were.)

The big problem is that despite being a Games For Windows title - which requires out-of-box support for the 360 gamepad - the buttons when using the pad aren't identified; all the commands are as if you're using a mouse and keyboard. Lame. Marvel Ultimate Alliance and Bioshock (I believe) change according to the control method - so should this.

ADD GLOBAL WARMING ALONG WITH POLITICS AND RELIGION TO THE LIST of topics you don't discuss in polite company. I was surprised to get a message at MySpace from an old co-worker whom I'd lost touch with after changing jobs. While I was catching her up about what was happening with my mother and the insane situation so many people are (and will) face with regards to paying for it I made the observation that no one seems to be too aroused by this real problem, but they're in a full-blown Apocalyptic tizzy over mythical man-made global warming.

Uh-oh. She was a Believer. And like most Believers, generally disinterested in the real inconvenient truths with regard to her religious faith. The best part was when she disqualified Michael Crichton's comments because he was just a silly M.D. who writes books and creates TV series and wasn't an environmental scientist who preached the true faith as received from the Goreacle.

Perhaps she'll Google the Medieval Warm Period, the Little Ice Age, and wonder how it is that the planet used to be a tropical environment awash in vegetation and dinosaurs AND covered in hemispheric glaciers without the presence of - much less influence from - the accursed human race.

I'm not holding my breath.

DIRK'S DISH DU JOUR - I have this as my wallpaper at home, so enjoy MAW (model-actress-whatever) Kelly Brook.



While the obvious babealiciousness is obvious, the photographer in me marvels at just how much flash power must've been necessary to make that picture.

Friday Morning Coffee

APPLE BATTERY WOES? - The 80GB iPod Classic is advertised to have a 30 hours audio play time but it appears I'll be lucky to get HALF that much. After only a couple of hours of play on an overnight charge - it's supposed to fully charge in 4 hours and it was on the dock for about 10 hours - the battery gauge was already down to 3/4. I've been running it on shuffle play for the past 12.5 hours (at this writing) and it's down to about 20%. I forgot to bring the AC adapter so when it dies in the middle of this afternoon, I'll be back to listening to the radio until I get home. Oh, bother.

My first iPod had a crap battery, too. I remember having to send it in for replacement right off the bat when I found the battery was only lasting about three hours (IIRC) back when they were supposed to last 12 hours. What a pain.

JIHADIST IN MY BACK YARD - Less than three miles from my workplace in Dearbornistan a practitioner of what Dubya inanely (and insanely) calls "a religion of peace and love" was arrested in a park with an AK-47 while wearing black clothes and camouflage facepaint. Hit the link to see the reporting of what will surely be swept under the rug as a "lone nut" and not someone consumed by a poisonous and murderous ideology.

I see that this guy was a third-year medical student; aren't jihadists motivated by poverty and desperation? That's what they tell us even though some of the 9/11 highjackers were engineers, the latest bombers in the UK were doctors as is Al Queda's #2 goon. No, the only reason people want to kill us is because of Israel and Evil Capitalist Corporations. Pffft.

FRIDAY FIVER:

1. Have you ever run away?

No. Does avoidance count?

2. What is the longest you've dated someone?

15 years.

3. What don't you like to think about?

All the problems in my life.

4. What was your last illness?

I guess a cold or something earlier this year.

5. Do you like to get revenge?

Look who you are asking.

DIRK'S DISH DU JOUR - Because you can never have too much Elisha Cuthbert!



It's too small to see here, but in the fine print at the bottom it says that "The Quiet" and "Captivity" would be in theaters in summer 2006. Did the latter get shelved for a whole year? I know there was a stink about their billboards in L.A., but if they waited a year to release, they missed the whole heyday of the torture horror genre. Clean out your desks, you losers in Marketing!

NEWS I CAN'T USE DEPT. - I was talking with Hermione last night and she said, "Bad news. Jessica Alba's off the market. She's back with Cash." I replied, "Oh, like I was just poised to make my move." If only...

BTW, the ads for "Good Luck Chuck", her new movie with Dane Cook look like she's going to try to do some pratfall comedy. Oddly, this may work for her. We'll see.

Wednesday Morning Coffee

I just saw that I started one of these three weeks ago and never finished it and posted it. Karl Rove isn't news-worthy anymore, is he? Oh, well....

RESOLVED: ALYSSA MILANO IS A BETTER ACTRESS THAN JESSICA ALBA - I've posted before that despite Alba being a smoking hottie who always looks classy on the red carpet, seems like a genuinely nice person and has managed to avoid self-destructing like Lindsey Lohan, she hasn't given any evidence of being able to act a lick. She tries, but never really attains any level of credibility. OTOH, Milano isn't really known as a thespian - that means she acts, not that she digs chicks - but based on one scene in the cheesy smut horror flick "Embrace of the Vampire", she exhibits more range in a few moments than Alba has in her entire career.

For those unfamiliar with the flick, it's about....oh, who cares? It's the film where 90% of the celebrity skin frame grabs of Milano came from. It's worth a look if you're into former sitcom stars grown up. Anyhoo, in one scene, Milano's mousy co-ed is tentatively seduced by Charlotte Lewis, who is photographing her using a magical camera without a minimum focusing distance. As Lewis strips off Milano's clothes, Alyssa's face flickers all sorts of conflicting emotions, any three of which are two more than Alba has exhibited. You can see 15 seconds of the scene here (definitely NSFW!!!) and when you watch it the second time, take a look at her face.

THIS IS PROGRESS? - I picked up a new HD DVD deck last week - Toshiba's flagship HD-XA2 which has been hailed for its exceptional handling of standard DVDs. Well, the picture is quite nice, but there are a few niggling - look it up; it's not racist, you tools - problems with it, most notable that the damn thing can't resume after being turned off; i.e. if you stop in mid-movie, when you start again, you'll need to chapter-skip and fast-forward to where you stopped. This is unbelievable and I've been tearing up the the AVS forums with missives, of which this is typical:

If after 8 months and firmware updates from 1.0 to 2.2, the fact that they haven't added this core usability feature, something so basic as to be incomprehensible that it would be left out, I seriously doubt Toshiba will be patching it in. Perhaps this will be the killer feature of the A35?

This is absolutely inexcusable, especially when the HD DVD specification stipulates that all HD DVD players must have at least 128 MB of built-in flash memory. This is optionally expandable and is used to store downloaded content (e.g. trailers, games, additional advanced applications) or information about the viewer’s HD DVD collection – favorite bookmarks, high scores, frame grabs of video etc. (Source) They have memory for storing HD DVD bookmarks, but not simple "here's where we left off" points?!?!?!? Are you freaking kidding me?!?!?

Last night, while watching "Stranger Than Fiction" (SD), the XA2 froze up when I tried to access a featurette and after it had been sitting at the features menu for about an hour, while I'd flipped over to watch some TV, it refused to eject the disk. Both times I had to hold the power button down to shut it off and then reboot. Both times, my g/f is looking at me with that "So, how is this an improvement?" look that's hard to refute.

A long time ago, I read an article about Jaguar owners who loved their cars and put up with annoyances like them not wanting to start on rainy days due to traditionally shoddy British electrical systems. They thought it was part of the charm. I thought, "If you owned an $8000 Ford Escort," - I said it was a long time ago - "you would be calling it a lemon and cursing the maker, but since it's a $40,000 luxury sports car, you're willing to put up with it and consider it part of being a satisfied customer?"

Exactly.

Hermione called last night to say that she was watching some movies and she could tell the picture was better, but she hates the remote and thinks the lack of resume is Larry Craig.

SPEAKING OF LARRY CRAIG - What is it about the Stupid Party that they can't even manage to pull off a sex scandal properly? Well, when President Hillary! or Obama surrenders to the Islamofascists, I'm sure our new Taliban masters won't take any chances with the hokey-pokey (left foot in, left foot out) Craig; he'll be beheaded for his homosexuality. Why aren't liberal gays worried about their necks? Do they think they'll be spared by the grateful jihadists for their collaboration as liberals in overthrowing America?

SOVIET-STYLE REVISIONISM ON THE MARCH - Vanity Fair shows their irony-deficiency in their retroactive white-washing of the Goreacle's supposedly unfair coverage during the 2000 Election. Apparently, the Treason Media was too harsh and this noble Savior of Humanity was given a raw deal that unfairly contributed to his defeat.

Gee, do you think Dubya will get a similar reappraisal from the media jackals in 2011 as to how he was smeared and lied about by the Treason Media who was so committed to destroying him that they damaged and endangered the country and its security?

Just kidding! Of course he won't! Had you going there, didn't I?

SPEAKING OF SOVIET BEHAVIOR AND DVDS - Why hasn't the Emmy-nominated miniseries "The Path to 9/11" been released on DVD? The answer is simple to one man:

[T]he miniseries' writer, Cyrus Nowrasteh, believes it's crystal clear: Powerful forces are out to protect Bill Clinton's presidential legacy and shield Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-N.Y.) from any potential collateral damage in her bid for the White House.

Nowrasteh, also one of the miniseries' many producers, said he was told by a top executive at ABC Studios that "if Hillary weren't running for president, this wouldn't be a problem."

Well, duh, Bub. The Clintons are the belles of Hollywood's balls and the miniseries was given the beatdown for daring to speak Truth about the fecklessness of the Clinton Regime's mishandling of the growing Islamofascist threat during the Nineties. Why do you think Sandy Burglar was stealing documents from the National Archives? To erase history which would reflect poorly on Hillary!'s bogus bona fides about being able to confront the jihad. Duh, again.

BIOSHOCK = TEH SHIZNATCH, YO! If you like shooters and you've got an Xbox 360 or (preferably) a beefy PC, you must check out the supremely atmospheric Bioshock. Of course, "atmospheric" is an ironic word to use for a game set at the bottom of the sea. There is some anti-intellectual backlashing starting to be heard of the "it ain't all that stripe, but ignore them and listen to me: It's one of the best games you'll play this year and it's shaping up to be a great year for games. Join the Cult of Rapture.

DIRK'S DISHES DU JOUR: That's right...TAG TEAM BABES! Even though one's a better actress than the other, that's not to say there isn't room for both of them, ya dig?



See? It's all love here and they've kissed and made up and uh...uh....

I'll be in my bunk.

If You Remember The Atari 2600, You'll Appreciate This

Relive the days when videogame controllers had one knob/stick and one button with whatever image you want with this handy label maker. Here's one I made:



Such fun on a Friday night.

Tuesday Morning Coffee

BONG HITS 4 JESUS: So, some smart ass kid holds up a sign reading this across the street from his school, gets suspended, sues the principal, and the case ended up in the Supreme Court yesterday. Listening to Bill Bennett on the drive in, it sounded as if Bill and most of his listeners were perfectly OK with what happened - we've gotta keep control of the punks; blah-blah-woof-woof - and said that even if the sign had said something non-druggie like "Republicans Suck! Vote Democratic!" and the principal stomped him, it would be OK.

That's a dishonest formulation. What if the sign read, "Jesus Loves You! Choose Life!", would Bill & Co. be so gung ho to shut the kid up? Of course not. Walk it like you talk it, you goofs.

WHEN IS 8>93? When it's the number of Federal attorneys fired by the inept Team Dubya, it is! The bias of the Treason Media has been on full display in their context-free reporting of the latest self-inflicted misstep by Team Dubya. They sacked eight political appointees and are being raked over the coals as if they'd executed them, but the reporters have taken great pains to omit that when the Clinton Regime rode into town, their first act was to fire ALL 93 prosecutors in order to cover that they were targeting two in particular - one who was looking into the endless swamp of Clinton crimes in Arkansas and one who was about to charge Dan Rostinkowski, whom Bubba needed to ram his socialist agenda thru Congress. Rosty was still charged and convicted and that led to Newt's leading the Stupid Party to take over Congress, but Clinton pardoned him, like he did for all his criminal pals.

Bottom Line: Another Team Dubya guy is going to be fed to the sharks. The problem is that AG Alberto Gonzales - his initials match his job title - has been a failure and should be unemployed for his giving Sandy Berger a pass, not investigating CIA/FBI leaks, not charging the Treason Media with treason, etc. He should be cashiered, but not for this.

O'REILLY, "O RLY": I rarely watch the Leprechaun (as Michael Savage calls him) because he so rarely actually engages in conversation, but last night he was actually awesome as he had some idiot woman from an anti-war group and quietly tore her to pieces. Actually, he just fed her the rope with which she hung herself in the eyes of the audience. As she made one outlandish charge of American evil after another, he calmly asked what proof she had and she NEVER ANSWERED THE QUESTIONS! She kept leaping to another charge and when pinned down, accused O'Reilly of being part of the "cover-up" of the Truth. He repeatedly asked her to provide some evidence and she kept dodging, saying "you're the reporter" and then accusing him of hiding the facts.

This moron was on the highest-rated shouting head show. She could've dropped a NY phone book-sized stack of documents to back up her wild claims but didn't? Why not? Duh. Because she's making it up! Duh! DUH!!! She's so used to the unquestioning treatment of the Treason Media and Air AmeriKKKa that she had nothing to offer but indignant fantasies of evil. I hope she'll enjoy her burqua and arranged marriage.

GRAW FAUX PAS: I screwed myself in GRAW last night. I was stumped as to how to get past these two tanks and was severely wounded, so for the heck of it, I just ran past them to the Palace - too long to explain; GRAW players will know what I'm talking about - and got there in one piece. The problem is that it saved my progress and inside there are about 20 rebels who kill me and my squad dead. Because I triggered and autosave point, I'm screwed and have to restart the mission about 8 segments earlier now. Drag. :(

REGARDING "300": Went to the theater for the first time in five months - that's another story - to see the man meat extravaganza "300". Hermione loved it, saying it made her giddy, and while I liked it, it didn't blow my hair back like "Sin City" or "Sky Captain" did. The critics have been slagging it mightily and while watching it, I saw why: It's about standing up to tyranny and to the anti-America, anti-Dubya media, this is simply unacceptable.

Before the film opened, the crix were grilling director Zach Snyder (who also did the "Dawn of the Dead" remake) as to which character was meant to be Dubya: Leonidas, the Spartan king who died defending his land against the Persian attack; or Xerxes, the Persian god-king who ruled most of the world with a huge force and met defeat at the hands of a scrappy little foe.

The fact that they had to ask this question shows how Bush Derangement Syndrome consumes the minds of those afflicted. First, the story is 2500 years old and the graphic novel was published in 1998. Now, class, who was President then? This isn't "V For Vendetta", where a tale inspired to slap at Thatcher was clumsily retooled to bash Bush to the detriment of the movie. It's pretty clear that if you want to draw a connection between "300" and the War Agaisnt Islmaofascism it's that Dubya is Leonidas standing against the forces of "mysticism and tyranny", as a character in the movie says. This is why the critics hate "300" - they hate Bush and hate the idea that free men be free.

Read about the cultural significance of the events dramatized in "300" here and realize that if Leonidas had bowed to Xerxes, Western Civilization as we know it would've likely perished. This make the fascist liberals maddest because free man resist the yoke of tyranny they wish to place upon us.

"Company of Heroes" Removes CD Check; BF2142 Booster Released.

I was listening to the latest PC Gamer podcast and they mentioned that a patch had removed the CD check for CoH, something I'd overlooked in the change list. I've verified that this is so (1.40 patch) and got to free up one of my drives in my computer.

If only BF2142 would do the same. BTW, the Northern Strike booster pack has been released and I've finally looked at the maps I didn't get to see while in the closed beta. As soon as I get done writing this and filing another review, I'll be shooting it up online for a bit.

Monday Morning Coffee

CHUBBY CHASING IS ONE THING, but when a 420-pound woman gives birth after being totally unaware that she was pregnant, the question being begged is, "Dude...what the...?"

HAVE WE LEARNED NOTHING FROM SCOTT PETERSEN? This is a Detroit thang, but Steven Grant has confessed to murdering his wife and hacking up the body. No one should've been surprised that he did it, but WTF is his excuse for leaving a torso in the garage? If you're going to kill your wife and act all innocent for the press, shouldn't, you know, GETTING RID OF ALL THE BODY PARTS be at the top of the things-to-do list?!?

THE NAME IS BOX SETS, JAMES BOND BOX SETS: I picked up all four Bond boxes yesterday at Costco after being surprised to see that the the price had come down $10 before the coupon came into play. 20 restored Bond flicks with extras for $144 out the door. My g/f was giving me hateful looks and saying, "But they suck.", and I was telling her to hike it. Yeah, the Dalton and half of the Moore ones blow, but for the price ($7.20 ea.), it can't be beat. I haven't seen many (if any) of the films before "Moonraker", so I figure I'll watch one per week in order. I'll post reviews if I do, something I've been meaning to get back in the habit of.

NO SUCH THING AS MANBEARPIG?!? ZOMG!!! England's Channel 4 is going to air "The Great Global Warming Swindle" which appears to finally speak Truth to the lies and hysteria of the Al Gore brigades. More on the show here and stay tuned for a Dirkworld® post with more facts about the FUD.

MORE XBOX WOES: I hooked up my replacement refurbed Xbox 360 and it seemed fine until I tried to play GRAW. For some reason, it's freezing up solid when it goes to DL the patch. I've troubleshot the thing nine ways to Sunday and other games are playing fine, but the moment I try to start GRAW, it's hosed. Oddly, it shows in my Gamercard at right as being played, despite never actually starting. What a hassle.

I'M LOST AND HARE KRISHNA ISN'T HELPING! On the semi-up side, I picked up "Lego Star Wars II: The Original Trilogy" for half-off at a Blockbuster clearance. It's fun and cute, but I've found myself stymied by some of the puzzles or trying to figure out where to go next. This is a kid's game?!? (Bonus points if you get the reference in the title.)

SPEAKING OF "LOST": Does anyone care about this show anymore? I'm still watching and I know plenty of people who still do, but no one seems happy with the way things are going. After the brilliant first season, the producers have aggressively pissed away whatever goodwill they had and now are just being annoying with all the needlessly cryptic nonsense and lack of answers. Last week's "Heroes" was outstanding, deepening the mysteries while providing some answers about some characters and providing some surprisingly touching moments. I just wish that "Heroes" wasn't directly across from "24" so I could watch it in hi-def and not on tape. Oh, well.

THROWING COULTER UNDER A TRAIN AND SOME THOUGHTS ON RUSH: Some blog is starting an open letter petition to have Ann Coulter not speak before future CPAC gatherings. Given her line-crossing dumbness and the media's eagerness to smear all conservatives with the "conservatives = racist/sexist/bigoted/homophobes" meme, this may be a good idea. Check out the first comment - this guy lumps Rush Limbaugh in with Coulter as an example of a hateful "loose cannon". As usual, the facts don't match the smear, but since when have liberals let a little Truth get in the way of a good lie? Michael Savage is an appropriate example of rage talk, not Limbaugh. They just try to smear Limbaugh because he's the biggest, baddest talker ever.

The irony is that the smear works until people actually listen to Rush. I was one of those folks who "knew" that Rush was a hatemonger because that's what the media told me. A family friend liked him, but I rejected even giving him a listen to see for myself. This is what the Treason Media relies on: Blind faith in the bill of goods that they're peddling. One day, driven batty by the lameness of music radio, I gave Rush a listen and after a while, I realized that the media had been lying about him and that led me to wonder what else they're lying to me about. It turns out it was plenty.

Back in 1994, there was no Blogosphere and teh Intarweb was barely out of the lab, so Rush was it. Now there are a zillion web sites spreading the Truth about fascist liberalism along with plenty of liberal sites reinforcing the delusions of the brainwashed that up is down, Truth is lies, global warming is real, Dubya is to blame for everything and liberals are smarter and better by the virtue of being liberals. Blech.

Friday Morning Coffee

OH, NO! NOT MEAT LOAF AGAIN! For some reason, I've had the chorus to "Two Out of Three Ain't Bad" running thru my head this week, so I finally scratched that itch by playing it on the drive in. "Paradise By The Dashboard Light" is the track after that. I've always wanted to do this at karaoke, but I don't know any female vocalists with the chops to handle the Ellen Foley part (Karla DeVito was in the video). Actually, I know two, but one's in New York and the other is hard to track down.

HILLARY!'S HIDDEN THESIS: I never heard of this thing before, but apparently Hillary! Clinton, er, Rodham's senior thesis at Wellesley was hidden away at the Clinton Regime's request so as to hide her radical Marxist views. Or that's the way some on the Right have spun it. The Left, naturally, says there's nothing at all controversial and if there was, it doesn't matter because she was just a kid and she's no radical; though how many non-radicals try to bury their non-radical writing?

This paragraph made me snicker:

A visitor to the Wellesley campus is buzzed in to the wood-paneled archives, but only after storing coat and briefcase in a locker outside. Pencils are allowed for note taking — no pens, which might mar the document. Readers can copy only a few pages.

Too bad the National Archives doesn't have such rules. That may've slowed Sandy Berger's stealing of history in order to erase the Clinton Regime's feckless and fatal errors in handling terrorism during their criminal reign.

DOES COPYRIGHT STIFLE CREATIVITY? I've had many discussions about the absolutely fascist behavior of the entertainment industry with regards to protecting their intellectual properties. Disney has bought changes to the law in order to protect Mickey Mouse from falling into the public domain, but as a result, lots of other IP is disappearing because it's locked away. The irony of Disney's actions is that they made their fortune by taken public domain stories like Snow White, Pinocchio and Cinderella and then creating films of those stories. Under the old laws, anyone would've been able to make Mickey Mouse porno flicks by now. I'm not saying we want that, but that it could've happened. Of course, it would be disastrous to Disney's bottom line to allow such a thing to happen; to allow anyone to slap Mickey on a t-shirt with a bong, like all the Calvin pissing on a truck logo stickers you always see.

The Beastie Boys' "Paul's Boutique" could never have been made and released under today's sampling and licensing laws and that shows how new art can't be made from old art when copyright fascists get out of hand. The next three items are all examples of how new art can be made from old, but could be injuncted out of existance.

YOU'RE A GOOD MANGA, CHARLIE BROWN: Check out this re-imaging of the Peanuts gang by the artist called gNAW:



Now peep at the other character studies he's done. How cool would it be to do new Peanuts comics with this art style? Cool stuff.

STAR WARS AS STEAMPUNK: Artist Eric Poulton has made a trio of drawings recasting Jabba the Hutt, Han Solo and (Mr.) Chewbacca, and Darth Vader...

...in the "steam punk" style which presumes everything sci-fi looks like it dates from H.G. Wells time. Kinda cool.

RYAN VS. DORKMAN 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO: I haven't seen the first fan film these blokes did and the fan film lightsaber fight flicks I have seen have usually been some nerds swiping at each other with their Master Replicas sabers to show off their rotoscoping skillz, but this thing is something truly awesome to behold. The choreography, camera work, editing and original score are top-notch and the pacing and FX are dope, yo! Don't freak at the run time; the last 3 minutes are just credits.



FRIDAY FIVER: "Smarter than a...."

1. What's your favorite game show to watch?

Jeopardy.

2. What game show would you like to be on?

"Who Wants to Shag Four Asian Girls in Catholic School Girl Uniforms with Thigh-High Stockings?"

3. Do you know anyone who has been on a game show?

No.

4. What do you think the worst game show is?

I saw part of this thing called "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth-Grader" in which adults had to answer questions from the first to fifth-grade - or "Grade Five" as the Canadians would say - level and it was interesting to see the grown-ups have to rely on the kids to bail them out. It was like "Jaywalking: The Game Show". Elitist America haters will cite this as proof of American stupidity; to me it's a fine argument for shutting down the government education system.

Anyhoo, the worst show has to be that "Deal or No Deal" abomination. Just insipid.

5. Bob Barker, Howie Mandel or Alex Trebek?

Vanna White (when she was posing for Playboy, that is.)

NOW I CAN JUMP IN AGAIN: Got my refurb Xbox 360, but haven't hooked it up yet. Hopefully it'll be OK.

DIRK'S DISH DU JOUR: I just watched one of those creepy indie movies called "The Quiet" which has "24" annoying hottie Elisha Cuthbert as a girl being serially incested by her father but is ambivalent about it. She gives a good performance despite the tawdry subject matter, but even without seeing the movie, it's always good to see her!



Remember: Lose the War Against Islamofascism and we lose the ability to see such things. Is hating Dubya worth losing the lovely EC, too? (To the fascist Left, yes; to the sane rest of us; hell, no!)

Wednesday Morning Coffee

LOVE ISN'T A BATTLEFIELD (2142): Meh. I'm having the foggy, apathetic morning today. Despite getting a ton of work done yesterday, last night I landed on a lame BF2142 server on a team that couldn't just lose, but got PWNED every time! They couldn't have gotten laid at a nymphomaniacs convention, if that was the measure of quality. Boo.

PARDONS FOR SALE COMING BACK TO BITE HILLARY? Last week's fragging by David Geffen against the Clintons revived one of the things that Clinton critics have pointed to while the liberal apologists keep screaming "BLOW JOB!!!" to deflect from the treasons of the Clinton Regime: The wholesale sale of pardons in that criminal regime's last days.

Geffen was upset that Clinton wouldn't pardon the FBI agent killer Leonard Peltier while selling pardons to Marc Rich, but as the Boston Globe writes, Hillary!'s brother has been ordered to return money he scammed for pardons.

Now, in the wake of the launch of her presidential campaign, the pardon controversy has reemerged in an obscure court case in which Senator Clinton's brother Tony is battling an order to repay more than $100,000 he received from a couple pardoned by President Clinton.

Tony Rodham, who acknowledged approaching the president about a pardon for the couple, is the second of Hillary Clinton's brothers to receive money from people who were eventually pardoned by President Clinton. Hugh Rodham received $400,000 from two people, one of whom was pardoned and one whose sentence was commuted.

But while Hillary Clinton immediately expressed chagrin over the news in 2001 that Hugh received the money -- and asked him to return it -- she said Tony was "not paid," according to a congressional report. The Clinton campaign yesterday declined to comment on the case involving Tony Rodham.

How many more family members of HRC were in the family business of grift and corruption? Note how the Globe writer reflexively couches the story in the language of "Those poor, noble, glorious Clintons are being set upon by Evil Haters because they're so magnificent!" Sorry, they're crooks and liars. Quit covering up, Treason Media - this is why you're influence is declining along with your bottom lines.

LEGIT GRIEVANCES OR WHINING CRYBABY? YOU MAKE THE CALL! Here are the plaintive bleatings of a Gamestop employee. For every point he has that I'm sympathetic towards, there's another that makes me want to say:


CHICKENGREENS! That's the label Tigerhawk has bestowed upon phony hypocrites like Al Gore who preaches sacrifice for the proletariat while farting thru silk in his 20,000 sq. ft. mansion that consumes as much energy in a MONTH that a normal John Q. uses in a YEAR. (There's an interesting link at that page that I'm going to expound upon in a separate post. Stay tuned.)

I don't care for the term because it lends credibility to the specious "chickenhawk" slur hurled at people who believe in fighting Islamofascism over there instead of filing charges against the pieces of the suicide bombers here.

Battlefield 2142 Patch 1.20 Released

Get the full version here or the incremental version (if you tried the 1.19b beta one) here. The README is here.


Figures. I had two instances of CTD when placing the SL beacon last night and now they've got it fixed. The 2nd time was the pisser: Full squad, two others on VOIP, working together and playing well. The beacon got toasted in an orbital strike and when I tossed the beacon again, BAM!!!! Crash!!!!! DAMMIT!!!!

By the time I got restarted and back to the server and squad, someone else was SL and the first thing he says is, "I put the beacon in the water...because it's cool. It must be a glitch." Frigging idiot!!!

The 50 Greatest Female Characters in Video Game History

TwitchGuru.com has collected a list of video game heroines and takes a shot at casting live-action versions of the games.

Lara Croft, Tomb Raider Series

Is there any doubt that Lara Croft is the perennial video game heroine? Croft is a female Indiana Jones with Daisy Duke shorts, a tight tank top shirt and two pistols instead of a ragged hat and bullwhip. The buxom adventurer has become a cultural icon, appearing in more than 10 games, two feature films and several comic books and original novels.

Pros: Completely eye-popping and disproportionate features, a zest for adventure and great aim with the firearms.

Cons: She has some Daddy issues and has become increasingly violent as the Tomb Raider series has progressed.

Is Played By: Angelina Jolie, the absolute perfect choice.

Video games are always characterized as being patriarchal and overwhelmingly man-oriented, but the fact they could pull 50 women and leave plenty out shows that the girls are alright.

Forget Al Queda!!! We Gotta Stop Those Video Games!!!

Not content to let fascist Democratic nannies like Hillary! Clinton and Joe Lieberman hog all the game-banning fun, Stupid Party Presidential Not-A-Chancer Sen. Sam Brownback is bringing back a game ratings bill with the laughable title of "The Truth in Video Game Rating Act" because...

"Video game reviewers should be required to review the entire content of a game to ensure the accuracy of the rating. The current video game ratings system is not as accurate as it could be because reviewers do not see the full content of games and do not even play the games they rate. Game reviewers must have access to the entire game for their ratings to accurately reflect a game’s content."

The bill also would require the Government Accountability Office to evaluate whether or not the ESRB is effective, and if there should be a seperate rating system not controlled by the video game industry.

With some games having at least 50-100 hours of gameplay, to require a delay of at least a couple of weeks to allow for complete playthroughs would be damaging.

I've written elsewhere that developers like Rockstar only brought the heat down on themselves by leaving crap like Hot Coffee on their game discs, but that doesn't excuse the double-standards and government intrusion that Brownback, Clinton and Joementum are proposing for video games that they wouldn't dream of inflicting upon the movie and music industries.

Of course, watch for commentators to blame this on "conservative politicians" now that Brownnose, er, back, has thrown in with the nanny fascists.

F%@# Comcast In Their Stupid Ears!!!

I've been getting fed up with my Comcast service for about six months beginning when they unceremoniously jacked up my rate $15 after discovering AFTER 7-1/2 YEARS that I didn't have their crappy cable television service. When I called about the rate hike, the nasty CSR didn't have anything useful to offer and even lied about DSL service being high-speed.

Two weeks ago, I started experiencing sporadic outages and after a few days of this junk, I called support and they said no one would be available for a WEEK. WTF?!? While I waited, I had two evenings of planned participation in the closed BF2142 Northern Strike beta trashed because of outages and lag. By the time they fixed things a week later, the beta was closed. Thanks for nothing, losers.

At least it was fixed, right? Wrong! Last Friday, I was looking forward to taking advantage of a special weekend where all the unlocks in BF2142 would be available and you already know what happened. Comcast says that they'll have someone out on Monday and I'll likely be getting a new modem. Gee, thanks. All I've done is lose three nights of gameplay and those are hard enough to come by.

UPDATE: The tech just called from home and said that things look right spiffy to him. After quietly yelling that it was always fine when it wasn't failing, he said that Comcrap is upgrading the lines from analog to digital and that outages are frequent and that he's been doing nothing but trouble calls (and not installs) for the past few weeks. Well, boo-hoo for you, Dude.

The Red Ring of Death Claims Another Victim

If you've been diligently following my Xbox Gamertag at right - which would indicate you desperately need to get some hobbies - you may've noticed that my Achievement points haven't been increasing despite getting several new games last week. Well, that's because my stupid Xbox 360, which is less than a year old, started freezing and then flashing the deadly three red LEDs which indicate console death. Drat.

It's on its way to Texas for repair/replacement - praise Allah that M$ extended the warranty period to one year - but what's baffling is that if you average my play time it works out to perhaps a couple hours per week. I have a buddy at work who has pounded his launch 360 mercilessly 6-8 hours per day and it is still going strong. Go figure. Hopefully they'll send back one with the new quieter DVD drives.

My Big Fat BF2142 Stats Graphic

While I have a portion of a Battlefield 2142 sig image over to the right (where else?), it doesn't show the depth of stats as this big honkin' thing does:



BF2142 vets may notice the Northern Strike badges at the bottom and wonder how I got those when the booster pack hasn't been released yet. I was in the closed beta test group and scored those during the limited time I got to play, no thanks to chronic Comcast modem outages and the absence of the beta keymaster the first night I tried to get going.

I'm not at liberty to discuss the pack at the moment (under NDA), but suffice to say that if you enjoy BF2142, you'll want to pick this one and at only $10, it's a decent deal. (No, EA isn't paying me to say nice things about the game. In fact, the cheap farging bastages may wipe the unlocks I picked up in the test.) Check out the official propaganda site here.