Wednesday Morning Coffee

I just saw that I started one of these three weeks ago and never finished it and posted it. Karl Rove isn't news-worthy anymore, is he? Oh, well....

RESOLVED: ALYSSA MILANO IS A BETTER ACTRESS THAN JESSICA ALBA - I've posted before that despite Alba being a smoking hottie who always looks classy on the red carpet, seems like a genuinely nice person and has managed to avoid self-destructing like Lindsey Lohan, she hasn't given any evidence of being able to act a lick. She tries, but never really attains any level of credibility. OTOH, Milano isn't really known as a thespian - that means she acts, not that she digs chicks - but based on one scene in the cheesy smut horror flick "Embrace of the Vampire", she exhibits more range in a few moments than Alba has in her entire career.

For those unfamiliar with the flick, it's about....oh, who cares? It's the film where 90% of the celebrity skin frame grabs of Milano came from. It's worth a look if you're into former sitcom stars grown up. Anyhoo, in one scene, Milano's mousy co-ed is tentatively seduced by Charlotte Lewis, who is photographing her using a magical camera without a minimum focusing distance. As Lewis strips off Milano's clothes, Alyssa's face flickers all sorts of conflicting emotions, any three of which are two more than Alba has exhibited. You can see 15 seconds of the scene here (definitely NSFW!!!) and when you watch it the second time, take a look at her face.

THIS IS PROGRESS? - I picked up a new HD DVD deck last week - Toshiba's flagship HD-XA2 which has been hailed for its exceptional handling of standard DVDs. Well, the picture is quite nice, but there are a few niggling - look it up; it's not racist, you tools - problems with it, most notable that the damn thing can't resume after being turned off; i.e. if you stop in mid-movie, when you start again, you'll need to chapter-skip and fast-forward to where you stopped. This is unbelievable and I've been tearing up the the AVS forums with missives, of which this is typical:

If after 8 months and firmware updates from 1.0 to 2.2, the fact that they haven't added this core usability feature, something so basic as to be incomprehensible that it would be left out, I seriously doubt Toshiba will be patching it in. Perhaps this will be the killer feature of the A35?

This is absolutely inexcusable, especially when the HD DVD specification stipulates that all HD DVD players must have at least 128 MB of built-in flash memory. This is optionally expandable and is used to store downloaded content (e.g. trailers, games, additional advanced applications) or information about the viewer’s HD DVD collection – favorite bookmarks, high scores, frame grabs of video etc. (Source) They have memory for storing HD DVD bookmarks, but not simple "here's where we left off" points?!?!?!? Are you freaking kidding me?!?!?

Last night, while watching "Stranger Than Fiction" (SD), the XA2 froze up when I tried to access a featurette and after it had been sitting at the features menu for about an hour, while I'd flipped over to watch some TV, it refused to eject the disk. Both times I had to hold the power button down to shut it off and then reboot. Both times, my g/f is looking at me with that "So, how is this an improvement?" look that's hard to refute.

A long time ago, I read an article about Jaguar owners who loved their cars and put up with annoyances like them not wanting to start on rainy days due to traditionally shoddy British electrical systems. They thought it was part of the charm. I thought, "If you owned an $8000 Ford Escort," - I said it was a long time ago - "you would be calling it a lemon and cursing the maker, but since it's a $40,000 luxury sports car, you're willing to put up with it and consider it part of being a satisfied customer?"

Exactly.

Hermione called last night to say that she was watching some movies and she could tell the picture was better, but she hates the remote and thinks the lack of resume is Larry Craig.

SPEAKING OF LARRY CRAIG - What is it about the Stupid Party that they can't even manage to pull off a sex scandal properly? Well, when President Hillary! or Obama surrenders to the Islamofascists, I'm sure our new Taliban masters won't take any chances with the hokey-pokey (left foot in, left foot out) Craig; he'll be beheaded for his homosexuality. Why aren't liberal gays worried about their necks? Do they think they'll be spared by the grateful jihadists for their collaboration as liberals in overthrowing America?

SOVIET-STYLE REVISIONISM ON THE MARCH - Vanity Fair shows their irony-deficiency in their retroactive white-washing of the Goreacle's supposedly unfair coverage during the 2000 Election. Apparently, the Treason Media was too harsh and this noble Savior of Humanity was given a raw deal that unfairly contributed to his defeat.

Gee, do you think Dubya will get a similar reappraisal from the media jackals in 2011 as to how he was smeared and lied about by the Treason Media who was so committed to destroying him that they damaged and endangered the country and its security?

Just kidding! Of course he won't! Had you going there, didn't I?

SPEAKING OF SOVIET BEHAVIOR AND DVDS - Why hasn't the Emmy-nominated miniseries "The Path to 9/11" been released on DVD? The answer is simple to one man:

[T]he miniseries' writer, Cyrus Nowrasteh, believes it's crystal clear: Powerful forces are out to protect Bill Clinton's presidential legacy and shield Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-N.Y.) from any potential collateral damage in her bid for the White House.

Nowrasteh, also one of the miniseries' many producers, said he was told by a top executive at ABC Studios that "if Hillary weren't running for president, this wouldn't be a problem."

Well, duh, Bub. The Clintons are the belles of Hollywood's balls and the miniseries was given the beatdown for daring to speak Truth about the fecklessness of the Clinton Regime's mishandling of the growing Islamofascist threat during the Nineties. Why do you think Sandy Burglar was stealing documents from the National Archives? To erase history which would reflect poorly on Hillary!'s bogus bona fides about being able to confront the jihad. Duh, again.

BIOSHOCK = TEH SHIZNATCH, YO! If you like shooters and you've got an Xbox 360 or (preferably) a beefy PC, you must check out the supremely atmospheric Bioshock. Of course, "atmospheric" is an ironic word to use for a game set at the bottom of the sea. There is some anti-intellectual backlashing starting to be heard of the "it ain't all that stripe, but ignore them and listen to me: It's one of the best games you'll play this year and it's shaping up to be a great year for games. Join the Cult of Rapture.

DIRK'S DISHES DU JOUR: That's right...TAG TEAM BABES! Even though one's a better actress than the other, that's not to say there isn't room for both of them, ya dig?



See? It's all love here and they've kissed and made up and uh...uh....

I'll be in my bunk.