Wednesday, August 03, 2005

White House Denies Existence Of Karl Rove!

I suppose they'll be saying there's no Keyser Soze next. Yeah, right.

"None of these allegations are supported by the facts," [White House press secretary Scott] McClellan said. "The opponents of this administration have created a mythical figure in order to discredit the president. All they have done is divert attention from the important work at hand—the war in Iraq and the war on terror. In doing so, they have dishonored the sacrifices of our brave men and women in uniform."

"This time," he added, "the Democrats have gone too far."

"This is a very clever fiction concocted by those on the other side of the aisle," Vice President Dick Cheney said. "It's preposterous at its core."

Initially demanding that the alleged Rove be fired, Democrats say they are now focusing their efforts on proving the figure's existence.

"I believe this deputy White House chief of staff is real, despite White House claims to the contrary," Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) said. "But to disprove this wild ghost story, we must begin an exhaustive fact-finding mission, for which I pledge all the time and resources of the entire Democratic party."

When asked for comment, Air ScamericKKKa host/insane harridan Randi Rhodes said, "BLURGLEBLARGH!!!! RARF!!! RARF!!!! MMMMRUMPHECKLEBEE!!!!"

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