Thursday, June 02, 2005

DIRK™ vs. John Podhoretz: Knuckle Up, Bitch...FIGHT!!!!

Terminal dumbass and general Jedi hater JPod has been emptying his full diapers on The Corner today, partaking of some serious crack-smoking and Star Wars-hating like this:

A reader points out that 83 percent of the reviews of Star Wars ROTS have been positive, according to the website, which also features a poll of its readers. And 88 percent of them like it too. "Seems that it's a wee bit overreaching to think people reject the movie as much as you have. Your reaction is curiously like what I would expect from Democratic activists who really, really believe something and then assert because they believe it so much everyone believes it. Sometimes otherwise good people can in fact disagree with your usually astute opinions."

That's a nice way of putting it, and I thank you. But citing against the plummeting second-week boxoffice numbers -- unquestionably indicating disappointment and a lack of enthusiasm among those who have already seen it because they're not going back to see it again -- is a little like talking about the polls that showed Kerry won even though the hard numbers showed Bush's victory. ROTS is rotting.

I'd finally f*cking had it with this asstackler, so I sharpened up the ol' Crayola and sent this e-mail to the fat, balding f*ck:


While I find your political commentary astute and well-reasoned, your insipid jihad against "Revenge of the Sith" has been laden with precisely the deluded "I think, therefore it is" malarkey that your quoted reader rightfully called out as "Democratic." You've resorted to dishonest portrayals of the box office figures to provide false agreement with your seething contempt for the film.

Precisely like the liberal media would do.

Saying, "But citing against the plummeting second-week boxoffice numbers -- unquestionably indicating disappointment and a lack of enthusiasm among those who have already
seen it because they're not going back to see it again...ROTS is rotting," may give you a smug feeling of satisfaction, but apparently you've missed the greatest lesson of the Blogosphere's takedown of Dan
Rather, Eason Jordan and Newsweek: It's pretty stupid to lie about things that can be easily disproved with a few minutes of Internet research.

To claim that the 49.1% drop in THREE-DAY weekend receipts is proof of audience dissatisfaction requires the gullible and ignorant - the only people who can be fooled by your NY Times-worthy tactics - to not know that:

1. ROTS grossed another $50 mil. on the Thursday before that opening weekend.

2. It took in $14.8 mil on Memorial Day and not counted in the 3-day total.

3. It's set or tied the records for: Best Opening Day, 4-day and 5-day grosses; fastest to $100 and $200 mil. (possibly $300 mil.)

4. It is likely to surpass the entire domestic gross of Episode II by this weekend, a mere 18 days into its run.

5. In its 2nd weekend, it outgrossed the two new competitors, The Longest Yard and Madagascar by over $10 mil.

6. A lot of people haven't seen it yet because they're waiting for the crowds to die down. You also clearly have no clue as to what the actual repeat business is like because on various forums I've visited,
the people who were fearful that "it'll suck like the other prequels" before its release are now seeing it multiple times and are planning on buying the DVD. (I've seen it twice and plan to pick up a few more
showings with other repeat customers.)

You hated ROTS. We get it. (Duly noted and ignored.) But what you need to get is that when you allow your personal animus to so badly cloud your sense of reason that you think you can blithely toss off your
biases as facts, it seriously calls into question your opinions about more pressing issues, like what the scoundrels in government are up to.

It's quite likely that many people may be thinking, as I have: "If he's lying so baldly about a MOVIE, what else is he lying to us about?"

Try the decaf and quit giving Corner visitors your lies wrapped in hate, sold as truth and reality. (Do it for the children!)


Dirk Belligerent

I hadn't noticed when I launched that salvo that he'd been getting slapped up via e-mail and was crying like the little shaved pussy he is in posts like:

I don't know why some of you are determined to demonstrate to me that Star Wars ROTS is too a big hit. I never said it wasn't a big hit. It's a mega-hit. So what? So were the Matrix sequels, and they were as bad as movies can be. What I said was that (as was true with the Matrix sequels) the second-week box-office falloff was very significant, an indicator of a lack of enthusiasm among its audience. You don't want to take my word for it? Here's Gitesh Pandya of "The concluding chapter of the Anakin trilogy has been depreciating at a slightly faster pace than its predecessor Episode II from 2002." That means it is doing worse at this point than Attack of the Clones, which even Star Wars geeks agree was a low point in the history of everything. So stop e-mailing me about this, because it really doesn't make sense for you guys to act as defensive linebackers for George Lucas, who doesn't deserve you.


...are gettin' angry -- so angry they are comparing me to cheese-eating surrender monkeys: "Your Star Wars comments on NRO's Corner have bombed utterly. Your review was out of the mainstream, your attempt to politicize the film was silly, if not worse--I think you were duped by a bunch of liberals, Frenchmen, and even some liberal Frenchmen at Cannes-- and your Matrix analogy is highly flawed. By the time the weekend is over, the latest Star Wars movie will have shot past the previous movie in terms of tickets sold, something the last Matrix sequel did not come close to doing. If I didn't think you were inviting this type of correspondence, I'd remind you of the first rule of damage control: quit digging the hole deeper."

To which my only answer is: "Tiens-moi, Anakin! Tiens moi en la manière que tu as faites par le lac sur Naboo!"

I'll update this when/if this moron repsonds and/or atones. Don't look for many of his political comments to be mentioned here. Loser.

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