Friday, January 14, 2005

Why the MLK Holiday isn't a REAL Holiday...

Monday is the observance of Martin Luther King's birthday and the banks will be closed and the postal workers will have to go to the range to get their shooting in, but is it a REAL holiday? I don't mean in the sense of Arizona's not observing it and pissing off Public Enemy, but is it a holiday equivalent to Labor Day, Memorial Day or Presidents Day?

I don't think so for one simple reason…

There aren't any MLK Day sales!

Don't tell me it's out of respect or anything like that - it's plain old liberal discrimination that denies King the equal stature with his fellow holiday holders like Washington, Jefferson and Lincoln. In the disingenuous guise of “showing respect” – c'mon liberals don’t really respect the groups they exploit for political gain - the racist liberal establishment is shoving King to the back of the holiday bus!

I have a dream! I have a dream that one day we’ll have portraits of King with talking mouths like Clutch Cargo talking to similar portraits of Biggie and 2Pac as they discuss who’s got the best stereo deals in town.

I have a dream that actors that don't particularly look like King will appear in ads encourging us to check out the great lease deals on Pacificas at Blane Chrysler-Plymouth at the Akron Motor Mall!

I have a dream that one day, black people and white people, Jews and Gentiles, freedom-loving people and the fascist liberals will be able to go down to The Mattress Warehouse on this day and pick up a great deal on a Sealy Posturepedic and save money because delivery is FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST, THANK GOD ALMIGHTY, DELIVERY IS FREE AT LAST!!!

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