Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Tuesday Bedtime Snack (All Fun Edition)

After all the misery of the last post, more wallowing in the failure of Team Dubya and Israel to do what's necessary to survive isn't going to do much for anyone at the moment, so rather than glum out more, here's a few light things that have been piling up in my Del.icio.us list.

• SAMUEL L. JACKSON ON A MUTHAF*CKING ANSWERING MACHINE: After a run-up that's felt like forever, "Snakes on a Plane" is FINALLY opening this Friday and we can see if the hype was founded or not. As part of the promotion, you can have SLJ send an e-mail or voice mail to someone. I sent a VM to Hermione, but she never mentioned anything about it, so I don't know if it actually worked or not. It's been a week; maybe I'll ask her.

UPDATE: I asked her and though she had heard about this thing, she didn't get any call. Drat. I mean, F#@%!!!

• FILE UNDER "THINGS YOU DO WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND": Described as "The Most Disturbing Case Mod Ever", this thing...

...it's, well...it's something alright. Moving on...

• THE 12 GREATEST VIDEOGAME TOILETS EVER: From PC Gamer or Gamespot? Nope! Maxim has the rundown like:

12. Prey (2K Games; 2006)
Cleanliness factor: 0/10
Realism factor: 10/10

This toilet looks like Kirstie Alley and Bruce "Hollywood Squares" Vilanch were trying to spell out the words STAR JONES on it with their rectums after a midnight Arby's run. Forget trying to clean this place: Just scatter some jet fuel, light a match, and move to the next-closest state.
Isn't that special?

• "THE 25 GREATEST QUESTIONS in the History of the Universe." Hmmm, pretty big boast, no?
24. Why are Grape-Nuts® Neither Grapes Nor Nuts?

Post Company founder Charles W. Post might have been good at creating popular cereals, but he wasn’t the best at naming them.

One of his first breakfast treats, Post Toasties, was originally known by the more, er, zealous name, Elijah’s Manna.

And then there’s the misleading Grape-Nuts®, which Charles named after a key ingredient in the cereal called maltose, which tasted like nuts and, at the time, was known as "grape sugar." Hence, Grape-Nuts.

It may sound like false advertising, but it’s not. Post would likely be protected from such allegations by that precious little hyphen. The Federal Trade Commission might consider a cereal called Grape Nuts "deceitful," but that hyphen makes the name "fanciful," which excludes it from prosecution according to the 1906 Pure Food and Drug Act.
You'll also find that the guy who is the "voice of AOL" does custom messages for hire. Perhaps it's time for him to announce: "YOU'VE GOT DIRK!"

• COOL VIDEO DU JOUR: I was a fan of OK Go's 2002 debut album - hey, how can you not like a record which includes the lyric "Mediocre people do exceptional things all the time"? They've been off my radar since then until yesterday, when I saw this awesome video:

I saw the new Hype Williams-directed Janet Jackson video the other night and it looks like it cost a million bucks, yet is utterly generic and the song forgetable. It's good to see some fun, low-budget/high-creativity videos for a change. Thumbs up.

• DIRK'S DISH DU JOUR: I've written about Morgan Webb before and haven't really been keeping up with her since G4's total annihilation of TechTV has made even searching for "X-Play" too painful an experience. So, last night, I'm trying to hook the DSL for Hermione's brother and while waiting for a reboot, I started looking thru the latest FHM and discovered this:

I showed it to Hermione and she actually startled at how buffed up Morgan was looking. I almost didn't recognize her without the stringy gothed hair. She's doing a column at their site for the kiddies who literally are yanking their joysticks. According to her MySpace page, she's "In a relationship", but we all know that means "Trying to avoid you dorks and your pathetic spazz pickup attempts."

• MAKING POLITICS FUN: As politics-free and fun I wanted to make this post, I just saw an ad on TV that has to be seen. It's for Michigan Stupid Party Senatorial candidate Michael Bouchard and it's called "The Date". Instead of the usual fear-and-gloom attack ads that we'll surely be getting as the Election draws near that warn us that a vote for the opponent will mean opening the 7th Seal, it features his daughter in a cute example of introducing oneself to the public in a way that will make later attacks against him from the incumbant seem petty and mean. I'm not sure if this is really the best way to be chosing our rulers, but it's entertaining and right now, a laugh is a precious thing to find.


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