Darth Vader: Total Dick!

I saw this a while ago, but I stumbled over it again just now and it still makes me smile.

When Will A TV Network Not Run An Inspirational Super Bowl Commercial Featuring Obama?

A: When it's a pro-life ad.



It reminds me of these rhetorical questions you occasionally see around postulating tough cases like:

The father is sick with sniffles, the mother has TB. They have 4 children. The first is blind, the second is dead. The third is deaf and the fourth has TB. The mother finds she is pregnant again. Given the extreme situation, would you recommend abortion?

[Y]ou would have killed Beethoven.

The big irony? Obama supports killing that baby at any time up to and including after birth. You'd think someone from his background would be more understanding and grateful for the choice of life, but liberalism is a mental disease that kills all reason. Maybe we should toss in some research money for a cure in the porkulus package the Dems are ramming thru. Yeah, that'd happen. [snort]

Looking For Pussy?

Huh? What did YOU think the title referred to?

It's Only A Mystery If You're Ideologically Blind.

According to Google Maps, my morning commute should be about 35 minutes. Thanks to the edge of the latest national blizzard coming along during the morning rush, it took me nearly 1-1/2 hours. Ridiculous and further proof that global warming lunatics need to be taken out onto a frozen lake and drowned in some ice fisherman's hole. Seriously, if someone came up to me asking to invest in their unicorn ranch, I'd reach for my wallet before I gave a single farthing to any of the scams Al Gore and his ManBearPig worshipers proposed.

The reason for relating this latest tale of snowy Michigan weather as it relates to the fear-mongering of the ManBearPiggies is this Power Line item, "The Name Is A Clue", which discusses al-Associated Press' utter confusion about the sightings of the snowy owl - get that? SNOWy owl? - farther and farther south.

Now, snowy owls like cold weather. They are white in order to blend in with snow:

So, why might they be moving south these days? Obviously, because the weather has been getting colder. Global temperatures peaked a decade ago, and this year has seen snow and cold temperatures dipping into the southern states. Here is another story the AP reported on today:

LITTLE ROCK, Ark. (AP) - Well over a million people shivered in ice-bound homes across the country Wednesday, waiting for warmer weather and for utility crews to restring power lines brought down by a storm that killed 23 as it took a snowy, icy journey from the Southern Plains to the East Coast. But with temperatures plunging, utility officials warned that it could be mid-February before electricity is restored to some of the hardest-hit places. The worst of the power failures were in Kentucky, Arkansas and Ohio.

But this simple explanation--snowy owls are following cold weather and snow southward--escapes the Associated Press. To the AP, the owl's behavior is a mystery. Maybe a shortage of lemmings is driving the owls south? But no! The lemming population is thriving. That being the case, it's an insoluble puzzle. The obvious explanation, cold weather, is unmentionable.

What's doubly absurd about this is that when species have moved North, the AP and other news outlets have robotically attributed the migration to global warming. Like moths, opossums, and various flora and fauna.

In 1974, when armadillos were moving southward, Time magazine saw a "telltale sign" of global cooling that threatened the survival of humankind. But that was then, and this is now. The media are trying to sell global warming rather than global cooling these days, so if a cold-loving animal packs up and moves south, it can only be a mystery.

As I've mentioned here before, to these psychos, EVERYTHING is "proof" of ManBearPig: it gets warm, it's proof that we're gonna die unless we do what the Goreacle commands; if it snows, it's proof that we're gonna die unless we do what the Goreacle commands. They're like little children playing "Heads, I win; tails, you lose! Ha-ha!"

Too bad the science is bogus and the books are being cooked in order to create the illusion that the planet is cooking.

In 1995, I published a short paper in the academic journal Science. In that study, I reviewed how borehole temperature data recorded a warming of about one degree Celsius in North America over the last 100 to 150 years. The week the article appeared, I was contacted by a reporter for National Public Radio. He offered to interview me, but only if I would state that the warming was due to human activity. When I refused to do so, he hung up on me.

I had another interesting experience around the time my paper in Science was published. I received an astonishing email from a major researcher in the area of climate change. He said, “We have to get rid of the Medieval Warm Period.” (Emphases in the original.)

The problem sane and truth-seeking people have in arguing this issue is that the facts, like the above link, tend to be technical and complicated to understand, while the delusional ravings of the doomsayers are fronted by vacuous pretty-boys like Leo DiCaprio and awarded Oscars and Nobel Prizes by coreligionists. I've always said that a well-told lie will beat a badly-told truth and in this case, ain't that the truth, Ruth!

"Enter Sandman" As Told By Cats!

Sometimes 4chan can impress. Prepare to put some mileage on your scroll wheel!

The Four Chords That Make Up (Seemingly) Every Song!

The Axis Of Awesome's 4 Chords

See more like this on kontraband.com

You Doing a Heck of a Job, Jenny G!!

Michigan's unemployment rate leaps into double-digits, at a nation-leading 10.6%, over three points higher than the national rate. Michigan has been in a one-state depression for years, lagging behind when the nation's economy was improving, and not leading the downward plunge that the Democrats' fiscal shenanigans have wrought.

Gov. Jennifer Granholm is a hype act so dazzling when she was first elected that people were seriously talking about changing the Constitution to allow this Canadian interloper to run for President. Within a couple of years, she was so obviously a failure that such talk ended, but what did the Stupid Party do? They ran a stiff, awkward, rich, white guy (Dick DeVos) who was a very successful businessman (Amway) but was easily taken down by the most vanilla class-warfare tactics Jenny and the Dems could use against him. "You don't want a rich guy to be Governor, do you?" was the totality of their argument and he, being a typical weak sister, just sighed and murmured that he was "disappointed" that Jenny would say mean things about him and LOST!

Sound familiar? That's the Stupid Party playbook: Run a decent, but timid chump who can't bring himself to loudly fight back when smeared by the Dems, who then loses. Nice guys finish last. Cheaters always win. The Dems cheat and thus win.

And we lose.

No More Appropriate A Song For Today's Coronation Festivities.

Heh.

Global Warming Lunatic Says Obama Has Four Years To Save The World.

I just came in from shoveling snow. Again. This is the heaviest winter since my teen years, with the possible exception of 1999. We had sub-zero daily highs last week with -30 wind chills and so far this month we've had more snow than a full January's average snowfall and we're only halfway through. So, to see this raving loony's dire pronouncements makes me wonder when we're going to finally realize that Al Gore and his ManBearPig-worshiping death cultists aren't worth the dynamite it'd take to blow them up?

The rising hysteria over global warming is due to only one thing: it's hard to convince people they need to hand their lives and economies over to a priesthood of enviro-whack jobs when they can see with their own two eyes that reality doesn't mesh with the hysteria. Gore is the figurehead for anti-capitalist (and naturally anti-American) commies who wish to enslave the planet. Since trying to guilt people into being poor because there are other poor people didn't work - "Why not make the poor people richer with economic development?", they replied - they are trying to frighten us into committing suicide by saying we're killing the planet. Uh-huh. Riiiiiiiight. The fat former veep with daddy issues, a giant house, a giant houseboat, and who flies his private jet, spewing carbon, wants us to live a lifestyle he's not willing to himself or else it'll never snow again and blah-blah-woof-woof?

Good luck with that.

The reason for the panic is that the longer the planet clearly doesn't warm up, the less their chances to get their fascist economic schemes enacted. If we'd cut our throats with Kyoto a decade ago - a scheme so flawed that Al Gore didn't bring it up for a vote when he was Veep, mind you - then the naturally-occurring cold spell we're experiencing now would've be credited to a the policy when it clearly would've had no effect. The doomsayers have been predicting that in 2010 the Earth would be on its way to becoming a burnt-out cider; uninhabitable by people and animals. Well, we're almost there and now they're saying it's almost too late. They're no different from the crazies with sandwich boards saying "THE WORLD WILL END TOMORROW!" and when tomorrow comes, fail to see the contradiction.

And before any of you Backtalkers try to foist the nonsense that all the snow is proof of global warming, STOP!!! When we didn't have much snow, it was offered as a sign of global warming and now that we have a lot of snow, it's a sign of global warming?!? Heads, you win; tails, we lose? Not for a moment here. Move on.

Mickey Rourke Must Not Want An Oscar.

Because he doesn't blame Dubya for everything that's gone wrong in the world and questions England's suicidal coddling of Islomofascist hate-mongers.

"President Bush was in the wrong place at the wrong time, I don't know how anyone could have handled this situation.

"I don't give a f**k who's in office, Bush or whoever, there is no simple solution to this problem... I'm not one of those who blames Bush for everything. This s**t between Christians and Muslims goes back to the Crusades, doesn't it.

"It's too easy to blame everything on one guy. These are unpredictable, dangerous times, and I don't think that anyone really knows quite what to do."

And the star is baffled by the U.K.'s approach to fundamentalists - insisting he was taken aback by the freedom of speech allowed in the U.K.

He explains, "I was in London recently and I couldn't believe all these hate-talking fanatics you have over here who are allowed to carry on doing their thing even when a bus full of women and children gets blown to pieces.

"I know you've deported one or two of them, but it seems crazy. I think there is worse to come, something terrible will happen to either America or the U.K., or France even. I don't think these fundamentalists should be allowed to talk all this crap, and brainwashing these young kids."

I haven't seen The Wrestler yet - Hermione isn't interested in it for some reason - but you can't forget that his current comeback really began with his awesome turn as Marv in Sin City.

Two of DDDJs Tweet, One Hotter Than The Other!

COED magazine has a list of 20 Celebrity Hotties Who Twitter and a couple of Dirk's Dish Du Jour women are included. First up is Tina Fey...



...whom the COED dudes dubbed this tweet the best: “When it comes to sex my only rule is no ifs, ands, or butts. Literally.” 4:04 PM Oct 14th, 2008 from web Ah, darn it! What a waste of a Greek booty. [pouting]

Reading her Election Eve tweets are pretty depressing as she mouths the shibboleths that her job requires and slobbers about how proud she is to be American now and blah-blah-woof-woof. Gag. I hope she doesn't go crazy like Janeane Garofalo did. That'd suck.

Helping to overcome the Tina disappointment a couple of slots down was the Hottie Terminator herself, Summer Glau...



...whose best tweet is deemed to be: "I know I should post more often, but between the acting thing and the covert assassinations, there just isn’t time.” 2:24 PM Jun 22nd, 2008 from web SMOKING!!!

Also hawt are her posts about building a spaceship and expecting Twitter to bring her coffee. Read 'em all - there aren't many and she (if it really is her) must've lost her phone in August cuz they stopped five months ago - cuz how can you not just get rigid for a cutie who tweets things like, "I had a dream last night. I don't remember any of it, but I nevertheless choose to interpret it as a portent of doom for all mankind." and "i haz a status. i tweetz it."?

Pardon me, but I need to go follow Tina and Summer.......NINJA STALKER STYLE!

I Didn't Expect To Be Ghandi, But Come On Now!

Stupid Intarweb quizzes!

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Will Oprah Apologize For Endorsing Obama?

Granted, Barry hasn't actually failed yet - he's just sitting on the beach and keeping his mouth shut about world events lest he blow his facade of Messianic cool - but as another one of Oprah's book recommendations turns out to be a tall tale, we have to wonder just what bill of goods she was selling us when she piously anointed Him as "The One". She's obviously been repeatedly fooled by book authors, so why should we take her endorsement for anything as being worth squat? The bigger question is what sort of herd animals look to the Big O for political instruction in the first place?

Clintons To Drop The Ball Again.

Sure, this time it's only Times Square for New Years Eve, but when you consider the feckless mishandling of repeated Islamofascist attacks during Bubba's regime, you have to appreciate the (unintended) symbolism.

Dirk Mini-Reviews 4 More Movies For You!

Been on quite a tear here. Let's get to 'em!

BURN AFTER READING - The Coen Brothers get a ton of slack accorded to them because they've made some decent flicks, but No Country For Old Men was pure airless crap that was only lauded on the basis of the coin toss scene and the line about how long the quarter had been traveling to get there. A Best Picture Oscar for a 4-1/2 minute scene. Pfft. It was better when dubbed as "No Country For Gay Men"!

Anyway, Burn After Reading is a step up in energy, but still as pointless in the end. The big-name, award-winning cast - Clooney, Swinton, Malkovich, McDormand - all play venal dolts of varying levels of stupidity involved in a caper about purloined CIA intelligence and endless fornication. (Not that that's a bad thing, mind you; the boffing, that is.) Dumbest of them all is a hilarious Brad Pitt who is a bright spot as a dim bulb, but all the running around goes nowhere and it's not really worth the time. Go rent an older Coen flick instead. 5/10

VANTANGE POINT - It's Roshomon meets Sha Na Na - not really, just making a funny there - in this supposed thriller about an assassination attempt on the U.S. President in Spain told in looping sequences from the various players....wait for it....vantage points. (Tada!) While there are a couple of cool twists, it ends with absolutely nothing about anyones' motivations explained and never recovers from all the "that would never happen" moments. 4/10

TRANSPORTER 3 - Man, did this franchise catch four flats and a bent rod in this trip. How hard is it to mess up the formula of Jason Statham being badass in his car? Not that hard, it seems as writer Luc Besson comes up with a tired plot involving an annoying and un-hot supposed babe - which Besson apparently cast cuz she gave him a stiffy - and new director Olivier Megaton (AWESOME NAME!) stages the fight scenes rotely and redundantly. (Seriously, two fights play out almost exactly the same.) While the 2nd Transporter flick was dopey with flipping cars and crashing planes, it had some snap to the proceedings including that crazy hot Pink lookalike with the machine guns. Skip this one and rewatch the first two Transporters or watch... 2/10

DEATH RACE - Despite being a remake of the schlocky Seventies Roger Corman flick Death Race 2000 helmed by uber-hack Paul W. S. Anderson and starring Jason Statham as....wait for it....a bald badass race car driver (tada!), this slice of ridiculous ultraviolence works because it doesn't pretend to be about anything more than heavily armed cars crashing into each other and general mayhem. Joan Allen has fun as the evil sexy prison warden orchestrated the races. Totally predictable, but still a small blast worth renting. 7/10

How Liberals Destroy Urban Youths In Ways The Klan Could Only Dream Of.

Liberals are racists. I know I say it a lot here, but it bears repeating. If you objectively look at the destruction of the black family after 40+ years of the "Great Society" and the pathetic state of the government education system (aka public schools), there is no other conclusion that can be drawn than liberals hate black people and will not rest until they are nothing more than slaves begging for alms from liberal politicians. Sure, it's a hateful and cynical way to work, but when your brutality is rewarded with a 95% support rate, why change? It works and for some reason, blacks keep voting for more lashes.

What prompts this sadly needed restatement of reality is Nolan Finley's Detroit News column "Detroit blew chance for school rescue", which reads in part:

With the Detroit Public Schools near disintegration, it ought to be noted that it's been five years since Plymouth philanthropist Bob Thompson was told to take his $200 million and get back to the suburbs.

Thompson, a retired road builder obsessed with spending his fortune to get urban children a high-quality education, ran into a political buzz saw when he offered to open 15 charter high schools in the city that would guarantee to graduate 90 percent of their students and send 90 percent of those graduates on to college.

Community activists denounced Thompson as a white meddler out to steal their children. They were joined in their absurdity by Gov. Jennifer Granholm and Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick, who threw their lot in with the teacher union.

The rejection of Thompson's millions became a national story of a city so seized by racial divisions it couldn't set them aside even to save its children.

So instead of a network of alternative schools that would have rescued roughly 5,000 students from the sinking DPS, look what Detroit has today:

A school district that fails to graduate 70 percent of its students; a school board that's fired two superintendents and an interim superintendent in four years; 18 of its 19 high schools on the failure list; and a fiscal meltdown.

Five years after Thompson was given the boot, Detroit is officially the worst big city school district in the nation and still sends more children to welfare and prison than it does to college.

Think about how different things might have been. Had the Thompson schools been built, they would be preparing to graduate their first class in the spring. Two thousand Detroit seniors would be making college plans. And Detroit's fast-fleeing middle class would have a reason to stay.

Yet no one has dialed up Thompson to apologize, to say they were wrong, to beg him for a second chance.

In fact, the governor and Democratic lawmakers are stubbornly blocking other Bob Thompsons from saving Detroit's children.

High-quality national charter school operators are lined up to get into the city. A group of Detroit teachers are pleading for the chance to remake a school under the successful Green Dot model.

But state law still traps students in hopeless public schools. Granholm refuses to lift the cap on charter schools, and the state House just passed a law protecting DPS from competition.

Nothing's changed in Detroit.

Well, a little has changed. Thug Maya Kwame Kilpatrick is in jail for multiple felonies and Jenny G. is lending her economic expertise - which has led Michigan to a nation-leading 10% unemployment rate - to Obama, showing just how clueless The One is about economics. But the schools still suck and the race war which has thrived since King Coleman Young rages on with any attempts to salvage the Detroit schools rebuffed as some racist plot by Whitey to boss the colored folk around.

Um....let's examine that concept: Someone wants to EDUCATE urban youths so that they can go to college and have successful lives and not end up on welfare or in prison and that's a BAD thing?!? Just because white people are suggesting that a good education, they're against it. And blacks keep voting for politicians who keep them slaves in exchange for sticking it to Whitey?!? WHY?!?!?

How The UAW Work Rules Have Killed The American Auto Industry.

If you want to get liberals all riled up, all you need to do is say anything against unions. Nevermind that liberals are elitist sh*tbags who sneer at Joe Six-Pack types for not being as grease-free as they are, with their soft hands and bodies toned by trainers, not actual hard work; they fancy themselves (and unions) as champions of the Little Guy. Bah.

I know people who are auto workers - a good friend is also involved in union activities - and have heard plenty of stories like the ones related in Detroit’s Downturn: It’s the Productivity, Stupid, so before the Anonymous Pussies who fill their diapers in the Backtalk section waste their time hammering spittle-flecked missives that will be either rejected or torn to pieces for my and sane readers' amusement: Stop!

A snip:

But almost all of the discussion, when it comes to UAW culpability, has been on wages. The even larger issue, though, is the elephant in the room that seemingly no one discusses, even when given a political opportunity...The issue isn’t wages — though those are a problem — so much as work rules. UAW work rules, which have evolved over the many decades since the passage of the Wagner Act, are the biggest reason that General Motors is uncompetitive with its non-union American counterparts.

What are work rules? They are agreements negotiated in the contract between management and the union covering how the employees are to be classified, how many breaks they get, how much time off they get, who can do which jobs, how discipline is to be enforced, etc. The goal of the rules is not to enhance productivity or production quality. It is to provide opportunities for featherbedding, increase numbers of (overpaid) jobs for union workers, and minimize how much they have to actually work. This is important because it’s at least in theory possible that the industry could be making money even at current wages, if they could be provided with the flexibility to increase worker productivity. When you blame management for the quality and cost problems in the auto industry, first consider stories like this:

As a former supervisor of UAW workers at a GM facility, I will say that poor management and union malpractice made the Detroit Three uncompetitive long before the government sent in their arsonists.

To put it bluntly, the UAW takes the hard-earned money of the best workers and spends it defending the very worst workers while tying up the industry with thousands of pages of work rules that make it impossible to be competitive. And the spineless management often makes short-sighted decisions to satisfy the union and maximize immediate benefits over long-term sustainability.

The strength of the union and the weakness of management made it impossible to conduct business properly at any level. …

I supervised a loading dock and 21 UAW workers who worked approximately five hours per day for eight hours’ pay. They could easily load one-third more rail cars and still maintain their union-negotiated break times, but when I tried to make them increase production ever so slightly they sabotaged my ability to make even the current production levels by hiding stock, calling in sick, feigning equipment problems, and even once, as a show of force, used a fork lift truck and pallets and racks to create a car part prison where they trapped me while I was conducting inventory. The reaction of upper management to my request to boost production was that I should “not be naive.”

Read it all and check out the comments that amplify the points. Also read Michael Barone's column which fills in more blanks and shows that instead of bailout cash, the Detroit 3 need to be forced into Chapter 11 and at that time, the UAW must be crushed and its leech-like corpse pried off the economy. Make it happen!!!

Dirk Mini-Reviews 13 Movies For You!

Just catching up on the backlog, in case you're at your Netflix queue on another browser tab and stumped for what to pick next.

11:14 - Oddball indie with a surprising cast including Patrick Swayze, a seriously drabbed-down Hillary Swank and a awesomely sluttied-up Rachael Leigh Cook with the intertwined events surrounding the titular time shown from multiple points of view. Some of the timing doesn't quite work, especially at the end, but it's goofy enough to breeze by the illogical bits. 7/10

The Dark Knight - You've seen it and already know what you think about it, but it moves even faster on the second viewing and if Heath Ledger doesn't get the Oscar, something is seriously wrong. Get it on Blu-ray if you've got the hardware to play it. 10/10

Eagle Eye - Fast-moving, if ultimately preposterous thriller with Shia LaBeef(sp?) as a guy being bossed around by a omnipotent voice on the phone. (No, not Mr. Moviephone.) When the big secret and plot's endgame are revealed, it may make you want to throw up your hands in dismay, but if you roll with it, it's OK. 7/10

Feast II: Sloppy Seconds - The first Feast was a nifty cult gem borne of the final Project Greenlight competition and the same writers and director come back to continue the story. Unfortunately, this episode is heavy on the spurting monster fluids and light on the wit of the original. I was surprised the same writing team typed this script; I'd thought they been replaced by a Cobb salad or hamsters. Even some late-game biker chick nudity can't salvage this letdown. 4/10

The Gene Generation - If it wasn't for a hot, sweaty Bai Ling in various saucy outfits and a couple of cool, very brief, action bits, this movie is all sorts of lame and stupid. Low-budget and looking it; very poor, Playstation 2 cut scene-looking CGI FX; idiotic plot; poor plotting; bad acting; lame, lame, LAME!

But, boy is Bai Ling hot. I'm tempted to edit this down to just her scenes. Not enough nudity, though. Brief tantalizing moments of pencil eraser nipple glory, but not enough. 3/10

Grizzly Man - Werner Herzog's documentary about a dumb hippie schmuck who goes to Alaska to commune with the grizzly bears and ends up getting torn to pieces and eaten by one is the feel good heart-warming comedy of the year! No, really. This guy is such a grating bonehead, you're rooting for his demise from the first moment you see his dumb, dead ass. 8/10

The House Bunny - Revenge of the Nerds gets a gender swap and a dose of Legally Blonde in this peppy, albeit formulaic, comedy. Anna Faris is bubbly fun as the Playmate-wannabe turned sorority house mother and Emma Stone (also in Superbad and The Rocker) is shaping up to be Lindsey Lohan 2.0, hopefully without having Paris Hilton turn her into a crack whore. 7/10

Lars and the Real Girl - Quirky indie about a odd duck who orders a lifelike sex doll and how a whole town caters to his fantasy could've been a sneering put down of small town folks, but instead comes of a sweet and low key. 7/10

Running Scared - Paul Walker finally doesn't totally suck in this gritty, over-the-top violent tale of a missing gun and a little boy. Directed by Wayne Kramer (not the MC5 gutarist; the director of The Cooler), it feels more like a Joe Carnahan (Narc) movie, but it works out fairly well. 7/10

Step Brothers - Much funnier than I expected with Will Farrell and John C. Reilly basically acting like bratty 10-year-old boys, but they're 40. Rude and crude and it delivers the laughs. Not a classic, but worth a rental. 7/10

Surviving Christmas - My girlfriend told me this wasn't as bad as the Ben Affleck/James Gandolfini vehicle's universal critical drubbing and box office failure would indicate and she was right. It stumbles a bit toward the end as the Formula Police from the studio probably mandated, but it's got some nice acid-tinged humor and good performances. 6/10

Teeth - Indie flick about a teenaged chick who is a virgin and then discovers that she has choppers in her hoohaw, which come in handy during the multiple times Evil Males take advantage of her. A one-gag movie that doesn't really go anywhere, though star Jess Weixler will freak you out with her resemblance to Heather Graham. 5/10

Traitor - Don Cheadle stars as a former American soldier who appears to have joined a radical Muslim terorist group. While the twists and turns were fairly predictable, it's a well-balanced story which will surely disappoint those looking for the usual America-bashing undertones, which is why the reviews were mixed by the usual liberal critics. Check it out. 8/10

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

God bless us, everyone! :)

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