Thursday, July 17, 2008

Two Reasons Why Danica Patrick Shouldn't Wear Bikinis.

Danica Patrick is probably the only thing keeping Indy car racing afloat. She's been competitive enough to make some of the male racers whiny bitches about her having an unfair advantage because she's only four feet tall (from the looks of her) and weighing 50 pounds. (Why we never hear a peep from those mooks when they lose to heavier MEN is a good question.)

Like many photogenic athletes - of both sexes - she has reaped numerous endorsements and posed for "sexy" photos and that's not really a problem, though it does sorta diminish her in a macho-fueled sport like auto racing, but as you can see in these pictures...

...she's not being very well served by whoever is styling these shoots. The top one is OK, I guess, considering she looks pissed off, but WTF is up with the bottom one?!? When you're built like a 12-year-old BOY, perhaps a tight bandeau top isn't the best showcase for your assets. (Or boobsets, in this case.) She makes pre-boob job-and-children Gwen Stefani...

...look like Jayne Mansfield in comparison.

While I prefer more substantive chesticles - I likes teh tig-ol'-bitties! - there are plenty of quite hot babes rocking the no-need-for-a-bra lifestyle like Keira Knightly, Selma Blair, Charlize Theron, Gwen Stefani and (while not my taste) Natalie Portman. Fashion designers prefer flatter models because the lines of the clothes hang straighter.

This isn't a call for her to stuff a couple of gallons of silicone into her chest and become a Pamela Anderson-grade freak, but a gentle suggestion that if she doesn't want to alter herself (and why should she?), then not to present herself in a manner that evokes shock and awwwww reactions. If Danica wants to play the tart, so be it; I'd just prefer she look the part better or consider different garb.

UPDATE: Well, how's this for timing? Shortly after I posted this, I stumbled over a web gallery that included this shot:

What sort of stuffing, padding and airbrushing went in to that?!?

UPDATE #2: Here's a close up of the area in question showing off both her swelling bosom and come-hither mien. (Yes, that's sarcasm.)

Don't get caught bad-touching yourself!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

She's cute enough, and I'm all for give her racing props . . . and I wouldn't care if there were beefcake shots of male racers. But, in her case, in seems superflous and unnecessary. Does this stuff attract sponsors? Does she make money off of it? Otherwise, why do it?

But, for good or for ill, there's something in the water than tends to provoke almost all women in the spotlight to hyper-sexualize themselves, or try to. How many teeny-bopper sensations on TV and in pop music have tried to turn into overnight sexpots the minute they had the chance? I remember seeing a LeAnn Rimes video where the newly nubile songstress was dancing around half-naked. Debbie Gibson did something similar. Sort of a: look, I'm a grown up, serious artist! I have breasts!