Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Apple's Still Sour (and Their Cultists Are Still Losers!)

It's been 8 days since Apple received my defective iPod Classic and still no sign of a repaired or replacement unit coming back. The support site says that they're "Diagnosing product" which makes a lot of sense that it was MY diagnostic experiments that prompted my demand for a replacement. The battery sucks, you morons! SEND ME A WORKING UNIT!!!! Yeesh.

Keeping on the sour Apple tip, I missed this article, "The Worst Thing about Macs", by Jason Cross which lists the problems Macs have, not so much the machines, but the annoying, arrogant, asstackling (L)USERS of said machines.

3. Apple fans have an attitude where, when Apple does something bad, it's okay, or at least understandable. When other companies, especially arch-rival Microsoft, does the same exact thing, it's a travesty and obviously clear evidence of why the courts should take them down. When Microsoft bundles its own software with Windows, it's time for antitrust litigation. When Apple does the same with Mac computer or OS X, they're not shutting out competitors—they're adding value. Open source rules, and Windows is bad for being closed, except of course for how OS X is closed, because that's okay. And nobody gives credit to Microsoft for having a smartphone platform that allows for real 3rd party applications, instead celebrating the clever ways in which hackers have managed to get around Apple's "not on my phone" policy to do the same. Until they update the phone and brick it, of course. You know, AT&T refusing to provide unlock codes for iPhones is against federal regulations, right? Where's the outrage?
Did I mention that the members of the Cupertino Death Cult are also hypocrites? That, too.

Cross follows up this week with some feedback that isn't very interesting except for a link he provides at the end to a site that accurately satirizes the Apple Product Cycle. A snip:
• An obscure component manufacturer somewhere in the Pacific Rim announces a major order for some bleeding-edge piece of technology that could conceivably become part of an expensive, digital-lifestyle-enhancing nerd toy.

• Some hardware geek, the sort who actually reads press releases from obscure Pacific Rim component manufacturers, posts a link to the press release in a Mac Internet forum.

• The Mac rumor sites spring into action. Liberally quoting “reliable” sources inside Cupertino, irrelevant “experts,” and each other, they quickly transform baseless speculation into widely accepted fact.

• Apple releases the first software update for the new device through its Software Update control panel. Several hours later, it pulls the updater. A small number of people who applied the update experience crashes, data loss, headaches and ennui. The Apple support forums are filled with outraged posts. A day or so later, Apple releases a revised installer without comment, then quietly removes the angry posts from its support forums.

• Wall Street analysts appear on CNBC to explain that Apple's device will never be able to compete with the onslaught of cheaper Windows-based competitors. Apple's stock plummets. Idiot technology investors experience a brief moment of deja vu before they return to masturbating to photos of Maria Bartiromo.
Be sure to read the author's CV.

No comments: