Friday, August 29, 2014

Welcome To The DIRKtionary!

Over the ages, I've built up a broad lexicon of iconoclastic phrases and definitions to entertain myself. While those who know the lingo get it without the original context, it can be baffling to newbies. So here are some of the phrases that pay. (Note: They don't pay.)

  • Avril TheVigne - Avril Lavigne.
  • Big Food Store - Costco, because it sells large sizes and quantities.
  • Blah-blah-woof-woof - My version of "yadda yadda yadda" or "blah-blah-blah"; taken from a line on Dark Angel.
  • Boobs McPhee - Rachel Nichols character on Alias
  • Buckorama - 2nd run movie theater, aka "dollar show."
  • CompUSA - Pronounced as one word, "Kahm-POO-suh."
  • Dark Knight Reloaded - My mocking of The Dark Knight Rises, tying it to the equally craptastic The Matrix Reloaded.
  • DirkFlix - My movie viewing diary and review site; downloaded movies.
  • Gringos - Non-minority people, aka "white people." 
  • Hermione - My girlfriend, allegedly my neighbor's stolen cat according to Culture Vultures lore.
  • Hot Boobs - Character played by Jessica Parker Kennedy on The Secret Circle
  • ManBearPig - From South Park, the mythical deity who is supposedly responsible for global warming or climate change or whatever the latest name applied to what used to be called "weather" is. Related: Church of ManBearPig (the religious institution that ManBearPiggers attend to practice ManBearPiggism, their religion. Al Gore and Michael Mann are the Popes of the Church.)
  • Nukerizer - Microwave oven.
  • "Rule X Violation" - Violations of Dirk's Three Laws (and One Strong Suggestion) of Band Naming.
  • Roundeyes - Non-Asian people, specifically white people (gringos). 
  • Slavic Housewife - Michelle Branch. (Too complicated to explain.) 
  • Stupidheads - What Hermione calls Pretty Little Liars; short for "Pretty Little Stupidheads" because they're such idiots.
  • Taco Guano - Taco Bell. 
  • Yummy Girl - Anne Hathaway.

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