Supermodel Ice Cream Server!

Last year, I wrote about a girl at a Costco I patronize whom I'd labeled "Supermodel Cashier"* Tonight, I found a companion for her in the Pantheon of women not utilizing their assets to the fullest.

I was at Coldstone Creamery cashing in the free ice cream coupon they'd sent for my birthday. There must be an ordinance on this side of town that only really cute girls may work at the ice cream shoppes and this place is no exception; notable because the girls are exceptionally thin and athletic-looking as if they don't eat what they serve.

The girl who waited on me was outlandishly tall (I'm 6'3" and notice such things) and had a good figure, including her butt (aka booty, bootay, ass, biscuit, rump) which a lot of tall girls lack. As she mixed up my cookie dough concoction, I asked how tall she was. "Six feet tall," she replied.

Me: "You probably get asked this all the time, but...

Her: "No. I have no eye-hand coordination."

Me: "Huh? No. What did you thing I was asking?"

She shook her head. It was about five minutes until closing.

Me: "I was going to ask if you'd ever done any modeling?"

She shook her head no, but what was odd was that she acted as if she'd never even heard of such a thing. I thought women were aware (if not overly obsessed) with their looks and unless she has some body dysmorphia issues or lives in a world without mirrors, how could she not notice that she was sorta unique? I couldn't get a good look at her face - she had her hair up and hat pulled down and I didn't want to scare her by letching at her; I'm old enough to be her father - but she was certainly not one who should be living under a bridge and hassling billy goats.


* In a follow-up, I mentioned I hadn't seen her, but a few months later I saw her once working, but not again. She looked heavier and Hermione theorizes she may've had a kid. Hmmmm....

UPDATE (7/8/2008): Supermodel Cashier was spotted at work last week when we were there. Supermodel Ice Cream Server is much hawter.

Ostrich Egg vs. Microwave....WHO YA GOT?!?

While idly perusing this collection of 20 videos of morons people nuking stuff they shouldn't oughta, this was the capper.

How Are We Supposed To Find This Kid With This Description?!?

I was just checking my MySpace and noticed they had an Amber Alert for a kid missing less than five hours ago. (That they consider a place approx 90 mins. away from Chez Dirk to be "in your area" is another matter.) Here is the total alert. What crucial piece of information is missing from this picture?

Missing From: 730 West Maple Street, Lansing, MI
Missing Date: 6/17/2008 12:00 AM

Contact: Lansing Police Department
517-483-4600

Circumstances: The Lansing Police Department is investigating an incident of an endangered missing child last seen in the area of 730 West Maple Street, the Mid Michigan Academy, in Lansing, MI. The child was last seen at 15:35 PM on 6/17/08 and is believed to be in extreme danger.

Missing Child
Name: Dianna Rose Windowmaker
Hair Color: Black Eye Color: Brown
Age: 10YO
Height: 5FT1 Weight: 90LBS
Gender: Female
Description: Wearing a pink jacket, blue jean skirt, black stretch pants

Suspect
Name: Unknown Unknown
Age: 40YO
Height: 6FT
Gender: Male
Description: Wearing a black tshirt, blue jeans, black "doo rag" under a black ball cap

Spot the missing detail yet? Here's a hint: Politically Correct Crime Reporting? See the missing item now?

WHAT COLOR ARE THE VICTIM AND SUSPECT?!?

Actually, the fact that they've omitted the racial details pretty much guarantees they're both black, but how is the interest in "protecting the children" served when white liberal guilt and fear of appearing "racist" prevents basic details from being included? I'm a few inches taller than this suspect, but other than the lack of a "doo rag" and ball cap, I match the description! Good thing I have an alibi!

Barack Obama is likely to get elected the 44th President of the United States because the Treason Media will not dare allow any criticism to touch their Anointed Obamessiah. Anyone who dares try to ask him about his radical extremists views, terrorist and criminal pals, or frightening naivety and general fecklessness, will be smeared as a racist. Guilty white liberals, who believe they can trade their votes for absolution for the seething racism that animates them, will bully everyone else into voting for Mr. Change! Hope! lest they get smeared as well.

And if little 10-year-old Dianna Rose Windowmaker has to be sacrificed on the Altar of Political Correctness in the Temple of Fascist Liberalism in order to assure the Obamessiah's ascendancy to the Throne of Power, then so be it!

Ugh. Our culture and society are just slashing away at their wrists, aren't they?

Puppies Play in Toronto!

I picked up one of those Flip Video Ultra flash-memory based cameras for our trip last week to the North by Northeast music conference and for what it is - a bone-simple, zero-feature, P&S unit that is less than $150; IOW a toy - it's surprisingly capable. (NY Times video review here.) Low-light images aren't too noisy, the mike doesn't turn into distorted mush when hit with rock band volumes, it boots in about 4 seconds, and it's so light, I carried it in my cargo shorts pocket all weekend in case something cool popped up like a bunch of puppies in a park we saw.



Cute, eh? For those interested in the editing, all of these shots came from a single shot that ran just under three minutes. The dogs were just running all over and I grabbed action as I saw it. The black dog that bookends the clip was sitting there unbothered by the commotion of the other pups and having a camera held inches from its nose. Wild.

What I love most about the Flip is that there's no waiting for tape to ingest in real time. I'd get in from the club, drag-and-drop the 3ivx AVI files to my laptop and I'm chopping away in less than five minutes. I hope that [Panasonic] P2 et al solid-state/HD-based catch on faster and cheaper soon because the interminable process of loading tape is the reason why I've got boxes of unedited footage; I just don't have the patience to hassle with it. I want to get to work, not mine the ore for a couple of days. Yeah, it's lame, but it's not like I've got an assistant editor to do it for me. :(

Why David Letterman Rules #3,672,941

I never thought I'd hit a point where I was totally oblivious about some sort of pop culture phenomenon. Sure, I may not know much or really care about Disney Channel stuff like Hannah Montana or various "reality television" (the greatest oxymoron ever) shows, but I'm usually vaguely aware of what's going on, but I must admit I haven't the foggiest notion as to what the holy fook "The Hills" is or is about? I guess it's some sort of fake/real "reality" show on MTV - that explains it, I stopped watching when I realized there wasn't any "M" stuff anymore (same as VH1) - and everyone really gives a smoking sack of manure about it judging from all the magazine covers these twits are inhabiting.

Judging from the way David Letterman monkeyslaps this toolbox from the show, I ain't missing much. Glad to see Dave's having none of this nonsense either.



(h/t: WWTDD)

Obama On Your Shoulder!

Cutie conservative blogger Mary Catherine Ham - what are the odds she's Irish Catholic? - has apparently gotten hired by the Washington Examiner and thus is ceasing her v/blogging career, but she signs off with a funny folksy slap at Obama's fascist attitudes about how we should live our lives. Check it out! (Doesn't she look a little like a younger, thinner, cuter Kim Deal?)

20 Funniest Newspaper Headlines Ever

According to these guys, that is.

What are the odds of that?

Cute.

Information Superhighway Robbery!

Hermione and I booked our accommodations last night for our trip next week to Toronto for NXNE. Since we'd done quite well with Hotwire, we went that route again. Last year, we scored a room at the Westin Harbor Castle - which sits on Lake Ontario at the foot of Yonge St. - for $76/day though taxes and parking drove the final ticket up to $120/day. Because you don't know where you'll be staying until AFTER you book the trip and pay for it, there is an element of gambling, but the star ratings are helpful that it will be at least of a certain quality.

We got the Hilton this time and it's proximity to the conference site and other activities is quite good. We may be able to walk to most things instead of needing to drive and that good. The reviews at Trip Advisor are pretty depressing and negative with lots of complaints of shoddy, dirty rooms and poor service, but the Westin also had lousy reviews and turned out to be probably the best hotel we've ever stayed in. We didn't have a single significant complaint about our stay.

But one...

We've usually stayed at the Courtyard Marriott or Day's Inn and both of those joints provide FREE broadband Internet service; Day's Inn was wireless, Courtyard wired. However, the Westin and now the Hilton both charge ~$15 per day(!!!) for their web access and that's somewhere between obscene and killing-worthy. I pay $62 per month for my 6 Mbps connection and I'm supposed to pay 3/4 of that for three frakking days?!? I know they're doing this to gouge the business travelers, but it's a joke. Last year, I got lucky and was able to piggyback on some Apple user (heh) on the floor below, but that only lasted a couple of days before they checked out.

Now, if the room was $90/day and had *free* Intarwebz would I be so chapped about it? Probably not. We're used to paying in the neighborhood of $110-$120 per night for a room, so a nice room for a higher price with *free* web would seem like a deal, but since I can see how the sausage is being made, I'm going to have to find alternate means of connection and that frankly sucks. Yes, it's a mental hangup, but it's also a gank by the hotels. The normal rack rate for these places is $240-$320/night and considering that like what I pay for rent, it makes the omission of free Net all the more galling.

UPDATE: I was able to hop on an open wifi connection that I was able to snag on the 15th floor, though it was spotty. When I did trivia, I took my laptop to the sushi place and surfed a solid open signal. It worked out and the Hilton - who clearly aren't spending the Intarwebz access grift on carpet shampooing; ugh - didn't get a cent off me.

Is History Repeating with the Obamessiah?

For all the blather about the Barack Obama representing "CHANGE!" and "HOPE!", there is something awful familiar about the guy. Hmmmmm, what could it be?

Dirk's Dish du Jour: Grace Park

I've mentioned "Battlestar Galactica" hottie Grace Park as a DDDJ before (I'd link it, but the picture went missing - Google images has a zillion copies; go get 'em) and for the longest time, the only real cheesecake shots of her were from a few year old Maxim shoot. Well, she's done a layout for Complex magazine and it's quite nice.



As I said, it's nice. What's not nice is that there are outfits shown in this video which aren't included. Curses!



BTW, if you haven't been watching BSG this season, you've been missing out.

Iraq: What The Dems Said THEN.

With the release of Scott McClellan's book - which has turned him overnight from a "mouthpiece for the Reich" to the "fearless Truth-speaker" in the eyes of the seditious Left - the old, tired, and still dishonest chants of "BUSH LIED! PEOPLE DIED!" are being heard again.

While the stupid and ignorant have always been gulled by this rubbish, people with an interest in the facts and memories longer than 10 minutes realized that the Dems had pulled an Orwellian arabesque and reversed their positions on Iraq the moment it didn't look as smooth-going as the first Gulf War had been.

The quotes from many of today's detractors have been published far and wide across the Blogosphere, but someone has put together a tidy video SHOWING just how emphatic the belief in Saddam's threat to the world was when they were in power.

Today, these jokers claim they were "misled" by a guy they routinely deride as barely able to dress himself and the Treason Media pliantly covers for them. If that we so, what was there excuse in 1998? I suppose Dubya was using his Jedi powers on them all from the Governor's office in Austin.

Hello. Who Are You?

I can see by the Meebo chat widget that I'm getting a ton of hits today. The traffic stats won't be up until tomorrow, but I can tell a huge spike is happening and a lot of you are hanging around to check more than one or two items out. If you'd be so kind as to leave a Backtalk explaining what brought you to Dirkworld, I'd appreciate it. Thanks for visiting. Hope you'll be back - use the RSS subscription button at right to get the feed - and that you enjoy your visit. :)

New Sig Time - Chun Zhun Style!

A couple of years ago, I made a wallpaper from some photos of Asian babes playing soccer that were shot for some lad mag in conjunction with the World Cup.


(Click to get the full-size wallpaper.)

I just found out they were by a bloke named Chun Zhun and he's shot a manga-inspired spread of Asian babes, bikes, and bullets like this...



...which has become a new forum sig:



I'm sure the posters there will appreciate the change from the one that's been there for the past six weeks. (Even I'm over it.)

Video Game Sex Lecture Time!

From Kotaku comes this:

Savannah College of Art and Design professor Daniel Floyd has put together this flash movie on the subject of video games and sex for his media theory course. Good job of summing stuff up. Loved the kicker.

Pretty cool.

No Country For Gay Men

I thought this movie blew and the only reason it won Oscars and acclaim was for the coin toss scene. Now, that has been dealt with. Heh.


No Country For Gay Men from Lawrence Scaduto on Vimeo.

"Open Mouth" Disease. Won't You Help?

Holy Taco brings us the sad story of a "Girl Tragically Struck With “Open Mouth” Disease":

Ya know, a lot of diseases go unnoticed in this day and age. Sure, there’s national breast cancer awareness month, but which month helps spread the word about Open Mouth disease? This malady, which affects approximately one girl, makes it physically impossible for her to close her mouth whenever a camera is around. Won’t you help put an end to this terrible affliction? For the cost of one cup of coffee a day, you can buy…one cup of coffee…and that’s about it. I’m pretty sure there’s no cure.

Hit the link to see FOURTEEN photos of this girl. I thought Paris Hilton was a one-look chump like Derek Zoolander, but wow.

I dug this comment:

Maybe she made that face once and it froze like that. Maybe my grandma were right.

If you're in the mood for more, check out Ex-Porn Pictures like this one:



WARNING: No nudity, but extremely wrong and offensive. Funny, but you may not want to show these to the vicar when he's over for lunch.

DIRK™ Reviews It For You: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Just got back from the Midnight showing, so it's time for...

DIRK™ Reviews It For You: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Short Version: The Man in the Hat is back!

Slightly Longer Version: Unless you're looking to hate it, you'll like it.

Many Worded Version: Remember in The Empire Strikes Back when Luke asked Yoda what was in the cave and Yoda replied, "Only what you take with you."? Well, after skimming the laudatory and downright vengeful reviews and seeing it for myself, truer words couldn't apply. Angry nerds who never saw Star Wars in theaters until 1997 and then shrieked that George Lucas "raped their childhoods" two years later have been the worst as they try to nitpick every little thing they can as if they will matter more if they kill the Geek God. F*ck'em - they be hatin'.

Since the "big secrets" have been already leaked all over the place - (invisotexted for the three of you who actually haven't heard) Mutt is Indy Jr. via Marion; aliens are the McGuffin; Red is the new Brown - let's just whip thru what's hawt and what's naught:

First off, it's great to see Harrison Ford back after that pod dude had taken his place for the past, um, long time. If they didn't make a big deal about how he's older at the beginning, it would be easy to forget that he's almost eligible for Social Security. He doesn't phone it in this time; he's a singing, dancing Strip-o-Gram. Welcome back, mack.

Shia LaBeef (sp?) is also very, very good. The Nerd Nation despises him out of jealousy that a guy like him is a movie star while they're hoping at best to be Leeroy Jenkins. Unlike Short Round, you don't want him dead and he's got some tricky poignant moments to play concerning the nature of his relationship with his father figures. He's not ready to wear the hat yet, but perhaps two movies from now.

Cate Blanchett is fun playing Natasha Fatale, but not enough is done with her psychic powers, as in, they don't do anything with them at all. If she actually displayed some abilities, she would be a formidable villain, but as it stands, she's left short by the script. (Between her and Christina Ricci, we should be in for a wave of bob hairstyles, though no one has seen Ricci.) Ray Winstone is also left thinly-written and frankly I half-expected him to belch that he was Beowulf.

John Hurt and Jim Broadbent get better parts but the best is Karen Allen, whom I can't recall a single movie she's been in (if any) since Raiders. I hated Kate Capshaw and Allison Doody (huhuhuhuhuh) is a trivia answer (has she done anything since Last Crusade?) because Marion was always THE GIRL (i.e. like The Man) and she looks good despite being in her mid-50s. The smile is there and you'll wish she had been in the other sequels, too.

Spielberg has been bashed by some for being lazy - one review said that this proves he can direct in his sleep - and that's just not true. I don't know if they're expecting the Spielberg from 25-35 years ago to come thru a wormhole because this guy does just fine. Action scenes are free of shaky-cam and edit-fu hysterics clear in their geography. Spielberg has made so many great movies for so long, we're inured to how easy he makes it look.

The biggest problem is the script by David Koepp. I haven't followed the endless development and various drafts from other writers because it's irrelevant. It doesn't matter if Frank Darabont wrote the greatest script ever or not because we can only judge what we get on the screen NOW. The first act is wobbly as if it's trying to get its legs under it and as a result, it's got too many wisecracks, too much exposition, too much sitting and talking, and too much thematic setup to be comfortable. Once Mutt shows up and the globe-trotting begins, it's pretty much non-stop action until the end when it becomes a matter of "Insert McGuffin here to trigger special effects overload"; it's weak.

Another beef has been the use of CGI effects and this again is more nitpicking. People have complained that there is no sense of danger because we know they're on greenscreen stages, but since when have movies NOT been totally fake? Was there ever a real danger that the hero was going to die in the other films? Action used to be performed in front of obvious rear-projection screens, so why is some darn impressive blending of location footage and CG evil? Oh yeah, that's right, it's Lucas and we just must HATE Lucas. Move on, people. Lighten the f*ck up!

A less obvious, but subliminally problematic factor is the replacement of Douglas Slocombe (who retired after shooting Last Crusade, having shot all three Indys) with Janusz Kaminski, Spielberg's DP for everything he's done since Schindler's List. While the first three films had a warm, golden hue about them, this one has the blown-out silvery bloomed look that gives an icy vibe to the image and causes some dissonance to the viewer; it don't feel right, though most won't be able to put their finger on what's wrong and will blame other factors.

There are a goodly amount of funny gags, some excellent chase scenes and a proper amount of callbacks and touchstones to tickle the faithful without being overly nostalgic. A few of the goofier bits - what's with the CG animals? - are sops to the kiddies because I guess today's 13-year-olds are too ADHDed to be satisfied with what worked for my generation, but again, people who are spitting at this brief moments are just projecting their emo rage at Lucas. Again.

The Bottom Line: Indy 4 (not typing that title again) isn't as good as Last Crusade, but better than the grim Temple of Doom. It doesn't bring any shame to the franchise and if the script had been buffed as shiny as the crystal skulls, it could've been something special instead of something merely very good. If you go in with a chip on your shoulder and your arms crossed like you're from Missouri, then you're probably going to be as dissatisfied as you want to be. If you just go looking for some old-fashioned Saturday matinée fun to munch some popcorn to, then you'll have fun. It'd be cool if they could whip another one of these out in the next couple of years and just blow the doors off instead of trying to build an overly complex Rube Goldberg mousetrap.

Score: 7/10 - See it at a matinée show in a theater.

If Men Wrote Advice Columns.

Click to embiggen.

Jessica Alba Stares You Down!

I'm not sure what the heck this is about, but she's simply adorable doing it.

While she has no significant thespian ability, she seems so nice. Seriously, have you ever heard about her acting up or being a bitch to anyone? Sure, she's knocked up without benefit of marriage, but compared to Britney, Lindsey and Paris, she's nearly an Amish virgin. That she was willing to do something as goofy as this video makes me feel like a brute for mentioning that she can't act. I wouldn't cast her in a film, but I'd love to hang out with her (even if I couldn't shag her.)

Why Gen X Needs To Smack Gen Whine Down.

A provocative article by Robert Lanham at Radar Online - Generation Slap: They're naive, self-important, and perpetually plugged in. This is a call to arms against Millennials - popped up on one of the forums I frequent and prompted the response below. Go read the article first before continuing here. I'll wait...

You back? OK, here we go...

Old age and treachery will overcome youth and skill. Unless you're a trembling simp, these words will guide you to do what needs to be done to save the world.

The "Greatest Generation" spawned the Baby Boomers who basically f*cked everything up. Who was M&A-ing everything in the Eighties and living the coked-out Miami Vice lifestyle? It wasn't Gen Xers like me. We sat in high school and watched the glory days of indiscriminate sex and non-harmful drug use pass us by and by the time we were ready to take our turn at the wheel, we had to steer the mess out of the ditch.

Of course, since the Boomers controlled the media, they whitewashed their culpability, made Gen X the patsies and proceeded to turn Gen Whine into the drones they hoped Gen X would be if it weren't for a few hitches of circumstance that tossed spanners in the works.

Problem #1 is that Generation X came up when there was a band called Generation X who had some other cohorts in the Sex Pistols, The Clash, Ramones et al and along with it the DIY ethos. DIY meant "Do It Yourself", not "Demand It, Yo", but the unintended consequence was those who took the slogan to heart made for uncooperative drones. As the realization that the Boomers had shafted us sunk in and that we spent our youth being needlessly badgered into wearing FRANKIE SAY WAR! HIDE YOURSELF t-shirts and being afraid of Reagan - BTW, number of nuclear wars started by Reagan: 0 - a natural cynicism and desire to strangle the Boomers with their Versace ties set in.

Unlike Gen Whine, Gen Xers were allowed to get poor grades and understand the pitfalls of underachievement. Today's spoiled twats have be told from the moment that they went to their pre-pre-pre-school Esperanto classes that they are special, entitled, the center of the Universe and poop nothing but rainbows. They've been chemically warehoused if they show the slightest signs of boisterousness - what used to be called "being a kid" - and rewarded for just showing up...whenever that may be.

During the dot.bomb boom, the laws of supply and demand (i.e. the need for people to work those mice) allowed for some abuses by the minions because, well, just because. Those Aeron chairs weren't going to fill themselves and largess flowed. Of course, it was all a sham and the turn of the Millennium brought the collapse of the Clinton-era house of cards, smoke and mirrors. The immutable laws of economics came back from their holiday on Pluto and here we are now.

The problem is that Gen Whine grew up looking at the fat days of the illusory Nineties and think that they are entitled to the same lax expectations of responsibility. Why shouldn't they? Their Boomer parents gave them everything they wanted (note: not needed) as if they had grown up during the Depression. More than that, they were terrified that not giving their precious widdle babies a Playstation, Xbox AND Nintendo will lead them to shoot up their schools. Small price to pay to save some lives, right? When the spoiled punks still went and slaughtered their classmates, some other scapegoat - videogames, rap music, Republicans, global warming - was found to deflect acknowledgment of their total failure as parents.

Since the Boomers were raised spoiled punks, how else could their spawnlings turn out? It would be easy for Gen X to be bitter about the poofy treatment these emo pussies have it, but instinctively we know that if this whole shebang isn't going to end up in the ash heap of history it's going to require us to step up and salvage the nation by strangling the Boomers and their worthless Twittring twit kids in their sleep.

I jest. (A little.) But the shallow nature of Gen Why is evident in their inability to use proper English and grammar - this board spoils you guys; try hanging where the average poster is btwn 16-23 and weep for the Queen's English - and LULZ, OMG, WTF are considered Hemingwayesque expressions of the human condition. There is little ability to comprehend complex concepts and premises and as a result they respond enthusiastically to the most profound political ideology since Plato trod the sands of Greece....

CHANGE! HOPE!

We are sooooooooooooooo f*cked.

As the article mentioned, there's a lot more of these mouth-breathing Facebookers than there are of us, but using some jujitsu, it will be possible to keep these morons in their place. For starters, since they've be programmed to believe that everything will be handed to them, they have little ability to actually fight for it. Oh, their mommies will come into the office to scream at us for denying their golden rainbow-pooping children the Red Bull IV and a 24" LCD monitor so they can have all their social networking sites open at once - they can't master tabs in Firefox, I suppose - but tough f*cking sh*t, lady. Take your spawn out of our building and drop them at the car wash where people of their motivation are a good fit, career-wise.

The reason we can do this is unlike Jen Wha, we have a historical perspective that only age can provide and living through revolutionary changing times gives a sense of how things change. Today's kid who is old enough to drink was born in...wait for it....1987. (This year's newly minted voterbots were born in 1990.) The best-selling albums were Bon Jovi's "Slippery When Wet" and Janet Jackson's "Rhythm Nation 1814" respectively and little Suzy Bingedrinker's first CD ("What's an album, Grandpa?") was perhaps by N*Sync. They've always had MP3s and have no idea that MTV used to show videos.

OTOH - yes, I recognize the irony of using that contraction - we have seen music morph from vinyl to 8-track to cassette to CD to digital. Movies have become things we went to theaters to see to videotapes to DVD to hi-def. (I'm watching "Rattle & Hum" on HD DVD and realize that U2 has passed from relevance to annoying caricature on my watch.) I'm typing this on a laptop that would've been science fiction at any price a decade ago. The 1s and 0s that made "Tron" now make "Ratatouille" a mere quarter-century later. A $400 videogame console can render more at 60 fps that what used to take a couple hours per FRAME to generate using million-dollar supercomputers. Old Industries have collapsed and new paradigms are attempting to rise from the wreckage - not that the Boomers trapped beneath the rubble are helping or happy about it. Gen Whine just awaits the next toy and wouldn't know what to do if you handed them a real Scrabble board.

Today's brats only see the pretty whirring lights and sensations of our time, but have no idea that beyond their beautiful house they should ask themselves, "Well, how did I get here?" They stand at the plate and think they scored a home run and saunter back to the dugout to collect their high-fives. They think that no one will see their photos of them in their tutus with their cool wands. Ironically, for all that they think they're thinking, they are not thinking at all. They are the embodiment of their Boomer creators' programming to be dutiful citizens of the world and comfortable with using mob rule to transfer resources in the name of "fairness". (That whirring sound you're hearing is George Orwell spinning in his grave. We should hook him up to a generator and get some benefit from his unrest.)

Since ignorance is a curable disease, the question becomes whether it is possible to deprogram so many of these hoodie-wearing entitlement queens or whether we push them into the Grand Canyon and bury them as a cautionary tale and indictment that not all of us did that great job ourselves. Hmmmm. It's hard to say, but righting the ship starts as soon as we are willing to tell the pampered princes and princesses of this meaninglessly-named cohort, "LIFE IS NOT FAIR!!! SUCK IT UP, YOU LITTLE BRATS!!!"

Thus concludes this rant. So say we all.

=============

UPDATE: Business Week has a list of "Ten Reasons Gen Xers Are Unhappy at Work" which dovetails nicely into this discussion, especially #9: "[I]f Boomer colleagues are annoying, the Boomer parents of your Y reports are down-right over-the-top."

This LOLCAT pretty much sums up Gen Whine parents:


more cat pictures

Rare and Incredible KISS Performance!

It gets old before it's over, but until then, it's pretty awesome.

Dark Side of the Rainbow

You've probably heard about how if you play Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon" album at the same time as "The Wizard of Oz" is running, they synch up, but how many of you have actually tried doing it? Well, now you don't have to dust off the turntable and hook up the VCR because someone has done it for you.



You're welcome.

I just skipped around to random points in the clip and it's pretty freaky how it lines up. I wonder just how stoned and burdened by free time the hippie who discovered this synergy was? "Hey, Dude...let's try 'Master of Puppets' and 'The Yearling' after we're finished with 'The Land of Rape and Honey' and 'The Passion of the Christ'!"

Star Trek: The Sexed Generation

As with any of these mash-ups or montages, I'm always impressed by the amount of work that must've gone into this, but as you will see, this is something extra-special.

Worst. Hand. Sanitizer. Ever.

So I'm leaving the new nursing home tonight that Mom moved to and I notice a hand sanitizer station on the wall with a sign advising usage on the way in and out. While I hadn't touched much at the home, I was at the gas pumps and who knows what diseased freaks touched that, so I gave it a go.

It didn't feel like much came out, so I hit it again and proceeded to rub it around - on my HANDS, you pervs!!! - and it was this gross, slimy mess. My car keys were in my pocket, so I'm standing under the canopy, waving my hands my hands around like Kermit the Frog when he's particularly stoked for an act and they were not drying out. I eventually fished my keys out and used a tissue to wipe them off, but yeesh. I had to really wash my hands to get the damn sanitizer residue off. Bleah.

"Hand" Solo

Hey, Luke, um, dude...Han's groping your sister.

Tornado vs. Cars....WHO YA GOT?!?

Yikes!

Photobombs Away!!!

Photobombers = people who hilariously ruin your nice little picture. Like this:





Dig some more! (Some slightly NSFW)

I...Saw...Iron Man!

DIRK MINI-REVIEWS IT FOR YOU: IRON MAN

Iron Man is the best comic book movie that doesn't have "X-Men" in the title. Briskly-paced, perfectly acted (though Terrance Howard's breathy voice makes him seem wimpy), excellent FX, and a story with ADULT meaning to it and not dumbed-down for the kiddies and toy manufacturers. I thought the villain was able to get away with too much, but overall it ROCKED! Even the usually tubercular-looking Apple's Mama/Free Trade Dude Plooker was attractive and adorable. Stan the Man's cameo is his best yet.

Much, much, MUCH better than the Spider-dork films and a ringing indictment of how they've stupidly squandered the Fantastic Four franchise. The Incredible Hulk trailer still looks like shite, but The Dark Knight looks crazy off the hook - damn, Heath Ledger should be around to take a bow for this, the way it looks - but will probably make less than Iron Man because it's so dark compared to the peppier Iron Dude.

Score: 8.5/10 - Pay full price on a big screen.

In related news, here's a cute spoof with Batman and Iron Man sniping at each other:

Girls Gone...ummm...Wilder!

While this could've been tightened up by 30 seconds, it's still mildly amusing.

Vampire Hunter Duh

McHatin sent this over:

Who's Got "the Body & Ass of Life"?

Jessica Alba? J.Ho? No, Chelsea Clinton, as Mark Steyn reports in "Ass you can believe in":

I don't pretend to understand the dynamics of the Democratic primary but it's not without its moments - "Chelsea Clinton Hits The Gay Bars In Philadelphia":

"I grabbed her ass," shouted one woman, prompting surprised looks and laughter from Chelsea and campaign staff escorting her.

"I've been trying to find you all night and I found you and you're gorgeous," Dustin Thorn, 31, of Philadelphia told her.

"I think Chelsea looks better in person and she's got the body and ass of life," said Christoper Murray after wrapping his arms around her and giving her a big hug.

"The ass of life"? If you rub it, does it grant you three wishes?

Har.

Step Up 2 My New Sig Line.

The only thing about the street dancing movie "Step Up 2 the Streets" that was of the slightest interest to me was this one 1-1/4 second shot of Briana Evigan (me neither) dancing in the rain. Now, for one of the sites I frequent, I've switched my sig line image (which links to here) to that moment so that I can see it anytime without having to watch the whole dumb trailer.



You're welcome.

An Actually Funny "Funny or Die" Video? Yes!

Will Ferrell's Funny or Die site has been pretty underwhelming in the clips I've seen, including the supposedly "classic" "The Landlord" sketch with the cussing little girl. However, the video below actually cracked me up, so here's a sign that maybe it's not all "die" at the site.



(h/t Videogum)

The Greatest Play in Baseball

From No Left Turns :



Watch it knowing that liberals are probably outraged that the protesters had their free speech rights restricted.

Dirk Sez Listen To: Asobi Seksu

This post marks the debut of a feature I'm going to call "Dirk Sez Listen To". There is plenty of cool music out there that is easy to miss, so when I find something that tickles me, I'll put together a playlist for you to sample. Look for others by clicking the "listen to" tag at the bottom to dredge on subsequent installments. You're welcome.

================

I stumbled over a song by Asobi Seksu earlier today and after seeing the cute Asian girl singer of the band...



...I decided to run down some of their music on Seeqpod and it's pretty good. Sort of a melange of Cocteau Twins, Lush, My Bloody Valentine, The Cranberries and whatnot. They're on tour now and just as luck would have it, they passed thru Detroit THREE DAYS AGO!!! D'oh!!!



Give 'em a whirl, won't ya?

Obama Opens Mouth, Inserts Foot, Then Shoots Foot.

I've been too busy to give the Obamessiah the right thrashing he's been begging for - what with his racist pastor, extreme Marxist/Black supremacist views, angry America-hating wife, etc., but this Powerline item is quick and reflects the stunning arrogance of the guy:

Is Obama's Campaign Over? It may be. I don't see how anyone known to have uttered these words can be elected President:

You go into some of these small towns in Pennsylvania, and like a lot of small towns in the Midwest, the jobs have been gone now for 25 years and nothing's replaced them. And they fell through the Clinton administration, and the Bush administration, and each successive administration has said that somehow these communities are gonna regenerate and they have not. So it's not surprising then that they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations.

Barack Obama's arrogance has been evident for some time, and it's no shock, perhaps, to learn that that he shares this bigoted opinion, common among urban liberals, of people who live in "small towns." But to actually express it, in public, at a campaign event, is stunningly stupid. Nevertheless, Obama did it.

It sounds like Obama is scaling back on his effort to appeal to religious voters. And what's this about the yahoos' "anti-trade sentiment"? Would that be like opposing the Colombia trade agreement? Hypocrisy is not unknown among politicians, but Obama seems determined to set a new standard.

The fawning doofs who look to the Obamessiah to "restore America's ruined reputation in the world" [barf] fall for his rhetoric about "change" and talking to the world, but are unaware that in their quest to pander to union voters, they are punching Colombia in the throat and hanging them out to dry with next-door-bad-neighbor Hugo Chavez fueling terrorism against them. How can the Obamessiah or Hillary! claim that they will be less arrogant than Dubya when they're being arrogant right now?

Malkin has more, too.

What Will Life Be Like in the Year 2008?

According to this article in the Nov. 1968 issue of Mechanix Illustrated:

IT’S 8 a.m., Tuesday, Nov. 18, 2008, and you are headed for a business appointment 300 mi. away. You slide into your sleek, two-passenger air-cushion car, press a sequence of buttons and the national traffic computer notes your destination, figures out the current traffic situation and signals your car to slide out of the garage. Hands free, you sit back and begin to read the morning paper—which is flashed on a flat TV screen over the car’s dashboard. Tapping a button changes the page.

OK, we don't have the air cars and domed cities and the population is 50 million less than predicted*, but wouldn't the Kindle match the description of that paper-reader? Check out the whole thing.

(h/t The Corner)

* Hey, anyone know how many abortions there have been since Roe v. Wade was decided? Could that be where those 50 million people went? Hmmm...

Times Square Bombed; Liberals Likely Suspects.

I was watching the live TV feed on 9/11 when the 2nd plane hit the World Trade Center. At that moment, I knew we were under attack, the Era of Kumbayah was over, and that Islamic terrorists were the likely culprits. I was right on all counts.

The Armed Forces recruiting office in Times Square was bombed this morning and it's telling that the first group that came to mind as possible suspects were the militant anti-military types that comprise radical domestic terror organizations like Code Pink, Can'tMoveOn.Argh and the leadership of the fascist Democratic Party. So enraged with hatred for Dubya and America, they attack the offices of the very people who are sworn to defend these asstacklers from those who'd gladly kill them. How's that for some irony?

Be sure to scroll down and gawk at the comments which lay blame on the Stupid Party as the culprits because they're trying to discredit the Dems and this is another false flag operation like 9/11. BDS is incurable, isn't it?

Sharia Comes To Harvard

Islamofascism will not need to kill Western Civilization because we're hellbent on committing suicide on the altar of multiculturalism. As Power Line reports:

As of January 28, according to Abbie Ruzicka's Boston University Daily Free Press report, Harvard has imposed women-only swimming hours at its Quadrangle Recreational Athletic Center. Harvard adopted the women-only hours after members of the Harvard Islamic Society and the Harvard Women's Center petitioned the university for a more comfortable environment for women. Ruzicka's account makes clear the Muslim impetus of the policy:

Harvard Islamic Society's Islamic Knowledge Committee officer Ola Aljawhary, a junior, said the women-only hours are being tested on a trial basis. The special gym hours will be analyzed over Spring Break to determine if they will continue, she said.

Aljawhary said that she does not believe that the women-only gym hours discriminate against men.

"These hours are necessary because there is a segment of the Harvard female population that is not found in gyms not because they don't want to work out, but because for them working out in a co-ed gym is uncomfortable, awkward or problematic in some way," she said.

Michael Graham's Boston Herald column comments:

In the old days, Harvard would have laughed if some Catholic or evangelical mother urged “girls-only” campus workouts in the name of modesty. Today, Harvard happily implements Sharia swim times in the name of Mohammed.

At Harvard, that’s called progress.

Graham tracked a Harvard spokesman down and elicited the usual obfuscatory blather:

When I asked Harvard spokesman Bob Mitchell about this new Sharia-friendly policy, he denied that they were banning anyone. “No, no,” he told me, “we’re permitting women to work out in an environment that accommodates their religion.”

By banning all men from the facility, right?

“It’s not ‘banning,’” he insisted. “We’re allowing, we’re accommodating people.”

Graham is unfortunately, to borrow a phrase, a voice crying in the wilderness.

Liberalism and multiculturalism: the poisons that will kill us all unless we stop drinking the tainted Kool-Aid.

UPDATE: I see the brilliant Mark Steyn has commented on this madness.

Well put. And thus "progress" comes full circle. In Minneapolis last year, the airport licensing authority, faced with a mainly Muslim crew of cab drivers refusing to carry the blind, persons with six-packs of Bud, slatternly women, etc, proposed instituting two types of taxis with differently colored lights, one of which would indicate the driver was prepared to carry members of identity groups that offend Islam. Forty years ago, advocating separate drinking fountains made you a racist. Today, advocating separate taxi cabs or separate swimming sessions makes you a multiculturalist.

Every society has culturally self-segregating groups - the Amish and whatnot. But they're usually in small numbers somewhere out on the edge of the map. In Europe and Canada, the self-segregating group happens to be the principal source of population growth, which presents a profound challenge to societal cohesion. America does not face the same scale of problem, but nevertheless "sharia creep" ought to be resisted before it becomes remorseless. The rest of Michael's column goes on to explain why that doesn't happen: at Harvard and elsewhere, bigshot Saudi princes waving gazillion-dollar checks are in effect buying silence about one of the central questions of the day - Islam's relationship with the west.

Liberalism is suicide.

Embers Cooling In Mesopotamia?

That's what Abe Greenwald thinks may be happening:

Question: What is the most extraordinary thing about the following extraordinary sentence?

BAGHDAD — After almost five years of war, many young people in Iraq, exhausted by constant firsthand exposure to the violence of religious extremism, say they have grown disillusioned with religious leaders and skeptical of the faith that they preach.

Answer: It is the lead of a story in today’s New York Times. The paper of record, which for the past few years could accurately be described as a body count with a styles section, is now acknowledging the realization of the most ambitious goal of the Iraq War: the de-radicalization of Muslim citizens. This is, in its way, more important than political reconciliation and even more important than hunting down al Qaeda. This is the long war stuff, the hearts-and-minds stuff.

The goal was to offer freedom as an alternative to extremism; the criticism was that it was a dream; the reality is that it is happening. From the Times:

Such patterns, if lasting, could lead to a weakening of the political power of religious leaders in Iraq. In a nod to those changing tastes, political parties are dropping overt references to religion.

Read it all.

Leave the (Comedic) Fake News to the Liberals.

Liberals like to go around pretending that they're smarter and better than conservatives and slam their ideological foes as being inept at creative endeavors like entertainment. While that's obviously untrue, it would be hard to tell based on painfully unfunny crap like this:



Whether it was the lame "Half-Hour News Hour" or "Red Eye" on Fox News Channel or this, it's hard to tell what they're hoping to accomplish when even someone favorable to their politics would rather watch and be insulted by the likes of Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert.

UPDATE: What does FUNNY fake news look like? Like this:

FCC Okays Nudity On TV If It's Alyson Hannigan

Greatest. Headline. Ever. (For Today, At Least)

Skywalkers in Korea Cross Han Solo

Simply brilliant!

(h/t The Corner)

Band Name of the Day

Jehovah’s Witness Protection Program

"Garfield Minus Garfield" Equals Brilliant

What would Garfield comics be like if Garfield wasn't in them? Like this perchance?



OK, what the heck is that about? Here's what the site's creators say it is:

Who would have guessed that when you remove Garfield from the Garfield comic strips, the result is an even better comic about schizophrenia, bipolor disorder, and the empty desperation of modern life? Friends, meet Jon Arbuckle. Let’s laugh and learn with him on a journey deep into the tortured mind of an isolated young everyman as he fights a losing battle against lonliness and methamphetamine addiction in a quiet American suburb.

Now look at these thru the explanatory prism:





Check it out, yo!

Keep in mind that this is probably an infringement of numerous copyright laws and subject to being taken down at any time. Art and fun is fine and all, but not if someone else can stop it because they've got the law on their side.

(h/t Penny Arcade)

Note: They removed the meth addiction reference sometime in the past day from the site. Hmmm...

R.I.P. William F. Buckley Jr.

The Titan of Conservatism has passed on to that Great Cocktail Party in the Sky. Look for much rejoicing and nastiness from the devotees of Karl Marx in the Treason Media and bastions of humanity such as the HuffPo.

As Jonah Goldberg noted on The Corner:

As George Will once said, "before there was Ronald Reagan there was Barry Goldwater, before there was Goldwater there was National Review, and before there was National Review there was William F. Buckley." As conservatives — and as Americans — we are all standing on his shoulders.

Will Robin Williams continue to do his WFB impression? He still does George Gessell when no one knows who he was, so I'd guess so.

1-900-NERD-GIRL

McHatin sent this in.



KILLER!

Video: Obama's Pledge To Disarm America

Hermione asked me when the primaries were about to start who I liked. I told her no one. When pressed to pick the least evil option would be on the Dem side, I said Hillary. She was astounded and asked why? "Because she's the only one even willing to pretend that its a dangerous world and that she'd be slightly inclined in certain circumstances to defend America."

In case there was any doubt that Barrack Obama is a dangerously naive ultra-radical threat to American security that could make us wistful for those long-ago days of brawny, macho American might during the JIMMY CARTER regime, check out Obama's promise to disarm America in his own words:



Jeez, is ANYONE paying attention to this stuff?!?

(h/t Power Line)

Banned Phase: "Baby Bump"!

I was watching the Oscar coverage and the insipid twits on E! when the discussion - I'm being charitable in calling their prattling that - turned to the pregnant actresses in attendance, including Nicole Kidman, Jessica Alba and Cate Blanchett. These drones then broke out one of the current phases that makes me want to Hulk smash: baby bump.

You see it on the scandal mag covers where every starlet who decides to wear a loose shirt or gain five pounds is declared to have been inseminated by some emo rocker or movie hunk - yes, I'm bitter about the whole Angelina Jolie thing - and Entertainment Tonight goes on "Baby Bump Patrol". I know it's supposed to be cute, but it's not. It sucks, especially when they describe hugely pregnant women who are in their 8th trimester as having a bump. If that's a f*cking bump, what would a lump look like?!?

From hereon hence on Dirkworld®, anyone caught using the phrase "baby bump" within earshot of moi shall be summarily delivered a minimum of three and a maximum of five punches to the ear. Repeat offenses will receive exponentially more severe sanctions. Ya got that, idiots?!? Say the words, enter world of hurt!!!

Nuff said!

Proof That The Internet Is For Porn!

You "Avenue Q" fans get the title. The rest of you can still enjoy this.

Oscars 2008 Running Commentary

From a site that shall remain nameless (to keep the riff-raff away), my running comments on this year's Oscar telecast.

* Lame opening montage.

* Stewart monologue - ”Psychopathic killer Oscar movies”; “his stripper name is Olympia Dukkakis”; “…pick the Democrat you’ll vote for”; “asteroid about to hit”, cut to Spike Lee. Solid set. Grade: B

* I was gonna do the drinking game where you do a shot when they show Jack, but I need to go to work sometime this week.

* Jennifer Garner looks like a girl.

* Why do Costume Design Oscar winners always dress like hobos? Jeez, Hermione thinks Swank looks manly?

* Jeez. In 50 years, they’re going to describing some suave new actor as the “new George Clooney”, aren’t they?

* Props for including the Rob Lowe shot in the montage. Don’t they usually run the filler montages in the middle of the show?

* Anne Hathaway: When bad dresses happen to yummy girls.

* This is the witty banter that we get now that we have the writers back? Is it too late for the strike to restart?

* Katherine Heigl shows how to look like Marilyn Monroe without looking like you’re trying to look like Marilyn Monroe. Hubba-hubba!

* And the shunning of “Norbit” continues.

* How come these people still don’t seem to know where to go after their speeches?

* Wow. Great pipes on Amy Adams, but couldn’t they have found a more whimsical outfit?

* First upset of the evening as The Golden Compass benefits from the vote split between Transformers and Pirates 3 for VFX.

* Crappy Art Direction presentation with them Photoshopping frames from the movie instead of showing actual sketches and paintings.

* Wow, it’s been 10 years since Cuba Gooding Jr. decided that he’d had enough dignity in his career? “Boat Trip”, “Daddy Day Care”, and “Snow Dogs” should’ve prompted a repossession by now.

* Never expected Xavier Bardem to win. (j/k) What did they bleep out?

* The spoof montages were funny. Too bad they didn’t have time to show them.

* Why does Keri Russell always look like she’s Joan Allen’s older sister?

* Using the “August Rush” tune time to look thru the sales papers. Hal Holbrook did the “cabin patch”?

* I’ll bet Tilda Swinton is thinking that she should’ve considered her fashion choices more thoroughly as her award will be overshadowed by all the worst-dressed lists she’ll be topping. Good speech dogging Clooney and his bat suit.

* Loved the adapted screenplay intros with all the writers tapping and scribbling away while the Coens are shown sleeping and angsting. Curious that their speeches were so inarticulate, no?

* Cute film explaining the Oscar process. They left out the part where the PWC guys phone their “bets” into Vegas.

* Miley Cyrus looks like an older version of Ellen Page.

* Whoever designed that dress that minimized Kristen Chenoweth’s awesome sweater kittens needs to be disappeared STAT!

* Funny shtick with the tubby Hebrews from “Superbad” and “Knocked Up”.

* Sound awards: the rivals for the various shorts and docs for who-cares-ness.

* Gee, they’re doing Best Actress early. Marion Cot-uh-something-French wins. She’s prettier in real life. Awwww, Forest gave her a hug.

* So far, the three acting awards have gone to non-Americans and with DDL a slam dunk, it’s going to be a sweep. English, Spanish, French and Irish thespians take the prizes. Someone better not tell Lou Dobbs.

* WTF?!? Did Nintendo pay for that Wii placement?

* I kept waiting for the Glen, the Coldplay wannabe, to drop his pick thru that gaping hole in the top of his guitar. How much do you have to play to grind away that much wood? “Once” is sooooooo overrated, but the song is nice enough.

* I’ve seen 42 of the 79 Best Pic winners - Hermione 36 – including almost all from 1970 on. (I’ve got Midnight Cowboy and Schindler’s List in the stack of DVDs to watch to plug a couple of the holes.)

* “Bourne Ultimatum” is sure cleaning up the technical awards. Could “No Country” be in danger?

* WTF is that tinsel crap around Nicole Kidman’s neck? She looks like she’s been flashing at Mardi Gras.

* Why do I know that MadgeLuva469 is going to run out and buy some hoop earrings like Daniel-Day-Lewis has?

* Honorary Oscar speeches are always scintillating, aren’t they?

* Has anyone heard of ANY of the Foreign Language nominees? Where was “The Kite Runner”? They really need to overhaul the process. How dare the winner invoke the Nazis?!? Doesn’t he know that the Oscars are all about Iraq now? Nazis are so old hat.

* WTF is up with that slick spot by the stage right podium? Colin Farrell said they should fix it and Xenu’s former favorite son almost fell on it.

* Nice to see the “Once” tune win if only because it gives the lowly indie musicians some hope. I didn't hate the movie; it just isn't all that.

* Classy move to have the Russian(?) girl back on to give a secondary speech. Hey, she mentioned indie musicians. She’s reading the Rope backstage?

* WTF is Cameron Diaz wearing? She looks hippier than Jennifer Hudson.

* “There Will Be Milkshakes” gets Cinematography, so it looks like they’re spreading the wealth around. Perhaps Roger Deakens split his vote?

* Hillary “Do I die in this one?” Swank intros the These Are People Who Died montage. Heath Ledger edges Ingmar Bergman in the applause competition. Hermione wonders where Brad Renfro was.

* Gee, Hollyweird finds a use for our soldiers: To inoculate themselves against charges that they’re anti-American and anti-solider with the category that followed their appearance. Not the least bit cynical. Not at all. Pffft.

* HA!!! “Sicko” loses, thus making Michael “There will be a meal served, right?” Moore’s year of defeat complete. Where was Fidel Castro? Did he eat him?!?!?

* True Fact: Diablo Cody is the first Oscar winner to go onstage with an exposed punk girl tattoo since Jessica Tandy won for “Driving Miss Daisy”. Hermione says, “Right now in seedy strip clubs everywhere, the next Great American Movie is being written.”

* Did Bono write Mirren’s speech?

* DD-L wins?!?! Jeez, everyone lost their Oscar pools. Seriously though, if he wasn’t in it this year, it’d be tough to handicap the race because the other performances were solid.

* The Coen Brothers have really come back from “The Ladykillers” and “Intolerable Cruelty”, haven’t they? They’ll have three Oscars to juggle tonight. Literally.

* Overall, a decent show. It moved quickly – overall run time: 3:17 - and had a few sweet moments and no truly dreadful lulls. Jon Stewart was good enough, though I’d rather have Steve Martin. Overall show grade: B+

Kiss Your Piggy Bank Goodbye Lest You Offend the Religion of Peace.

Europe is in the process of committing cultural suicide as it is being overrun by unassimiliated Muslims. Poisoned by liberalism and multiculturalism, they simply can't bring themselves to suggest to immigrants that perhaps the newcomers should adapt to their new surroundings, preferring to cut their own throats in the hopes that the new neighbors won't be aggrieved into do it to them.

Leading the way is the Netherlands where...

Knorbert the piglet has been dropped as the mascot of Fortis Bank after it decided to stop giving piggy banks to children for fear of offending Muslims.

The decision has been viewed in the Netherlands as the ritual slaughter of a popular pig by political correctness. To some, it is the latest sign of uncertainty in Europe's most tolerant country about how far it should go to accommodate the sensitivities of minorities. It comes as the country is braced for a backlash against the plans of Geert Wilders, a right-wing politician, to release a critical film about the Koran.

Pigs are considered an unclean animal by Muslims and Jews, and Knorbert was culled after seven years as the Fortis mascot. A spokesman told the Dutch media that “Knorbert does not meet the requirements that the multicultural society imposes on us”. The bank added that there had been “a number of reactions to the pig” and that a new gift and character were being developed that would be “fun for children of any persuasion”. Children who had received a Knorbert piggy bank for opening a EuroKids account will be given a junior encyclopaedia instead.

Anyone else spot the irony of "Europe's most tolerant country" bending over and grabbing their ankles for a specific group out of fears that a mascot and piggy bank may not be, you know, TOLERATED?!?

What Treason Media Bias?

Brutally Honest notices that when a police office died while working escort duty for Dubya, the headline was "Bush Motorcade Kills Cop", but when the same thing happened yesterday with an officed with Hillary Clinton, it was "Officer Killed Escorting Clinton." Nice.

Stupid Party Is Stupid

When the obituary for the GOP (bka the Stupid Party) is written, their decision to join the Democrats as tax-and-spenders instead of fiscal hawks should be included.

Bad News That I Missed...Or maybe it didn't get much coverage. Robert Novak writes:

House Republicans showed how much they really care about losing their fiscal responsibility brand when they rejected Rep. Jeff Flake (Ariz.), the leading crusader against earmarks, for a vacancy on the House Appropriations Committee. They picked Rep. Jo Bonner (Ala.), a former House staffer and a consistent supporter of earmarks. Flake's goose was cooked earlier when the House Republican Conference did not unilaterally impose a moratorium on earmarks.

I don't see how Republicans think they can get back to majority status without reclaiming their role as advocates of smaller and more responsible government. Pork helps incumbents of both parties, so the temptation to make it bipartisan is understandable. But if most House Republicans prefer job security in the minority to making a serious effort to regain the majority based on conservative principles, the party is in worse trouble than I thought.

Lovely. Simply lovely.

Dirk's Dish Du Jour: Avril LaVigne

Remember that annoying little snot-nosed Canadian mall-punker who broke thru in 2002 with peppy tunes such as Sk8ter Boi" and "Complicated". Her follow-up album sounded like she'd been listening to too much Evanescence and her latest is good except for a lot of really gratuitous profanity - do we need to hear her declare that she's "a motherf***ing princess" like a gangsta rapperette? Her fashion style, if you can call it that, was a neck tie over a wife-beater and it was a shock when she got married to Sum41 frontman Derrick Whibley in a Vera Wang gown. As she's grown older, she's been dressing less like a ragamuffin, but hadn't really hit the level of "HAWT" for me, even when she was posed topless on the cover of Blender with a big text box over her chest with her quote, "Hell yeah, I'm hot!"

Until now...

I got the new Maxim - the lad mag that allows celebrity chicks to sex up their images without getting as naked as Playboy would require - yesterday and she's the featured cover babe. Ho-hum. She's getting prettier now that she's wearing makeup and decent clothes and isn't jailbait anymore (she's 23 now), but I wasn't prepared to see that she's developed into one fine hottie!


Yowza! Check out the spread here. Avril TheVigne - welcome to the To Do List!

What? Wait! Dubya Did Something Good?!?

Apparently Bob Geldof didn't get the memo that Dubya is the Great Satan and blundered into praising the President for his aid to Africa.

Mr. Geldof praised Mr. Bush for his work in delivering billions to fight disease and poverty in Africa, and blasted the U.S. press for ignoring the achievement.

Mr. Bush, said Mr. Geldof, "has done more than any other president so far."

"This is the triumph of American policy really," he said. "It was probably unexpected of the man. It was expected of the nation, but not of the man, but both rose to the occasion."

"What's in it for [Mr. Bush]? Absolutely nothing," Mr. Geldof said.

Mr. Geldof said that the president has failed "to articulate this to Americans" but said he is also "pissed off" at the press for their failure to report on this good news story.

"You guys didn't pay attention," Geldof said to a group of reporters from all the major newspapers.

Oh, Bob. Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob...what can I tell you? They were paying attention, but had to bump all the positive stories to make room for endless rehashings of Abu Grahib, phony claims of torture, and a general agenda of America-bashing in order to demoralize the public into reflexively leaping to the banner of "hope" and "change".

If people thought Dubya was doing good works then the public may give him higher approval ratings and that just wouldn't do, now would it? How can the public be browbeaten into believing we're a cruel, rat bastard country that tyrannize the world when they know we're provided relief to those in need around the world? What do you think these journalists are here to do? REPORT THE FACTS?!?!? Dude, they're in it to CHANGE THE WORLD! Just ask them - they aren't interested in the five Ws, just the destruction of one W.

"This videocard made a robot jizz bullets."

Boing Boing Gadgets has a gallery of the worst motherboard and video card box art which should be familiar to anyone who has built a PC from scratch. While I'm more interested in the contents of the package, I have wonder on occasion as to WTF the various weirdness on the cover was meant to convey.

I don't know what sort of technology it takes to incapacitate a robot with bordeom, but Sapphire has done it. Sold.

WARNING: Don't drink beverages while reading this list or else you'll be shopping for a new keyboard and/or monitor.

(h/t Kotaku)

Google: Being Evil For the Power Elites

Google's legendary motto is "Don't be evil." They've been coasting on that myth even as they've collaborated with the Communist Chinese government to oppress their dissidents in exchange for access to 1.2+ billion potential customers and now they are apparently silencing critics of the corrupt United Nations:

Lee is the editor-in-chief, Webmaster and pretty much the only reporter for Inner City Press, a pint-sized Internet news operation that's taken on Goliath-sized entities like Citigroup since 1987.

Since 2005, he's been focusing almost entirely on stories that deal with internal corruption inside the U.N., posting several stores online almost daily.

He's been especially interested in the inner workings of what could be called the practical-applications arm of the international organization, the United Nations Development Programme.

Many of Lee's stories were featured prominently whenever Web users looked for news about the U.N. using the powerful Google News search engine, a vital way for media outlets both large and small to get their articles read.

But beginning Feb. 13, Google News users could no longer find new stories from the Inner City Press.

"I think they said, 'If we can't get this guy out of the U.N., let's disappear him from the Internet,'" Lee said.

Over the last couple of years, Lee has proved to be a constant — and controversial — thorn in the U.N.'s side.

Though his writing is clunky, his methods unorthodox (and often highly annoying) and his news judgment sometimes more than a little off the mark, Lee has hit his share of bullseyes and became an outlet for whistleblowers inside the U.N.

In 2006, for example, he drew attention to human-rights abuses by the Ugandan People's Defense Force during a U.N. disarmament program, including incidents in which four people were killed and over 100 homes destroyed.

In November 2007, during a press conference in which Google announced its partnership with the UNDP to achieve anti-poverty goals, Lee earned a less-than-friendly response when he asked why the Internet company hadn't signed a global human-rights and anti-censorship compact —elements in the U.N.'s Millennium Development Goals.

[Google spokesman Gabriel Stricker told FOXNews.com that "Google generally does not sign petitions or join coalitions but prefers to support public-engagement and advocacy efforts through the work of Google.org and by leveraging our products, such as Google Earth."]

It was this incident, says Lee that put him in the crosshairs. Lee said he felt certain that the Internet company and the international agency had now joined forces to make his work less accessible to the public.

"I've been covering almost U.N. stories, three to four a day, for two years, and for the last two years there's been no problem at all," Lee said. "Then that Friday, I received the e-mail. There's something a little skeezy here. I think that Google got involved with the U.N. on these Millennium goals and thought, this is the United Nations, if they tell you some small Web site is a thorn in their side and there's a credible reason you could remove them from your news service, you do it."

As far as the services it provides - premier quality search and tons of free goodies like Gmail and Blogger - Google is the tops, but like many gazillionaire tech outfits, they are operated by elitist "One Worlders" who owe no allegiance to their home countries and consider themselves above jingoistic patriotism, preferring to think of themselves as Anointed Demigods and us poor rabble as pitiful children requiring their alms which flow as manna from their beneficent touch.

Perhaps Google should cop to their attitudes and proclaim that they're "As evil as we want to be."

Lightening Up With Friday Fivers

It's easy to get depressed when you realize that our next President is likely to be a varying shade of pink to deep red and I'm talking BOTH parties here. So let's try to have fun by catching up with all the Friday Fiver quizzes from 2008 to date.

1. Do you like the thrill of a chase?

That's supposed to be thrilling?

2. What winds you up?

What am I, a clock?

3. Are you a loud talker?

YES!

4. What comes easy to you?

Nothing.

5. What did you dream about recently?

Can't remember, but it was weird.

==================

1. What are you set on?

My chair.

2. What do you have to do right?

Make sweet love.

3. Have any kids?

Not that I'm aware of.

4. Are you patient?

No, I'm feeling OK.

5. Friday fill-in: I know if I put my mind to it ______.

It still won't make a difference.

============

1. What are you missing?

Satisfaction.

2. How do you feel?

Like James Brown: dead.

3. What have you let go?

My responsibilities.

4. Who have you hurt?

No one who didn't deserve it.

5. What do you deserve?

Better and more of it.

=========

1. What do you need?

A lover that just ain't so lazy.

2. What won't you share?

If I were to say, wouldn't that be sharing?

3. What do you hurry through?

The boring stuff.

4. Who is worth waiting for?

Angelina Jolie. (The version prior to her Mia Farrow phase.)

5. Friday fill-in: I can't bear to ______.

Contemplate a future living on our knees under the sword of Islamic rule.

===========

1. Where do you like to walk?

On water, but it freaks people out.

2. What does your hair look like?

Awesomeness!

3. What are you jealous of?

Lame guys who get to bang the hot chicks I like.

4. What kind of promises do you make?

Ones I keep.

5. What makes you stare?

Boobies!

===========

1. What's your favorite shape?

Angelina Jolie.

2. Who is the craziest person you know?

Julie.

3. Sweet, salty or savory?

I dunno. Haven't tasted either of them? Oh, I get it! Um, sweet.

4. Best ice cream topping?

Angelina Jolie.

5. Do you ride horses?

I have, but not in 15 years.

Recipe For An Obama Supporter

While doing the monkey bar swing from one blog to another, I came across one woman's who is a raving Obama lover, having volunteered to canvas in primary states for this naive and radical empty suit, unable to recognize the cognitive dissonance between her statements that anyone voting for Hillary! or Huckabee can't be voting on the issues and her support for a guy whose volunteers are trained to not discuss issues.

As if there was any doubt that this poor girl is an idiot, she has posted the recipe on "how to make a Chrisi":

mix two parts Liberal with one part Socialist. add one venti chai latte. stir.

Nice. She doesn't cop to the fact that there is no functional difference between being a liberal and socialist - not to mention the fascist underpinnings of both - but she tosses in her beverage of choice: a five-dollar (or whatever they cost) Starbucks drink.

Nothing says typical dedicated supporter of Barack Hussein Obama than some clueless twit drinking a coffee that costs more than a pack of smokes (which I'd wager she'd like banned by the government) and believing that they're fighting for freedom instead of slavery.

============

UPDATE: I see on Power Line this morning that there is a minor kerfuffle about Obama's volunteer campaign office in Houston, which prominently displays a Cuban flag bearing an image of Che Guevara:

Obama said the Cuban flag with Che on it was "inappropriate," a criticism slightly more muted than the one he leveled against politicians who wear the American flag on their lapels ("hypocrites"). The Obama campaign emphasizes that this was a volunteer, unofficial office, and that Obama didn't endorse using the image of a mass-murdering terrorist (my words, of course, not theirs) in his campaign.

The incident is significant, however, in that it reveals what sort of change at least some of Obama's supporters think he has in mind. Are they wrong? Maybe, but what has Obama said or done to disabuse them of the idea that he is a Che-admiring leftist?

Then again, maybe these far-left Obama supporters are "confused" because they've been following his votes in the Senate. Obama was one of only 29 Senators who voted to filibuster the provision of the FISA reform bill that extended immunity to telecommunications companies that cooperate with law enforcement and intelligence authorities in identifying international terrorist communications. As Jennifer Rubin points out, this put Obama to the left of liberal stalwarts like Barbara Mikulski. This vote was significant because, just as terrorist supporters try to intimidate citizens by suing "John Does" who report suspicious activities, the terrorists' allies, absent immunity, would have tried to disable intelligence programs by harassing telecom companies with lawsuits.

So, while I assume that Obama's "change" doesn't involve actually emulating mass-murdering terrorists like Che Guevara, it's reasonable to infer that it won't involve doing much to catch them, either.

The identity politics pimps will try to marginalize opponents of Hillary! and Obama by hurling the smears of "RACIST!" and "SEXIST!" as if gender and color bias were the only reasons anyone could oppose these anointed liberal fascists. WRONG!!! If John Edwards was the candidate and held such ultra-radical views - he did spew the usual socialism, but not to this extreme - then sane, freedom-loving people would be rising against him.

I wonder how many ignorant voters think that Obama would be just like President David Palmer from "24". Alas, Palmer was a work of FICTION - there is no such thing has an honorable Democrat who is willing to use force to protect America these days.

"I'll stagger thru the malted alley..."

I've blogged about my love for Puffy Amiyumi here before - search it for yourselves up top; don't be so dependent! - and generally appreciation for females of the Asian persuasion, but I've never heard of Nochiura Natsumi before stumbling over this awesome video posted at a commenter's blog. In case you've ever wondered what foreign pop singers are saying, wonder no further!

(h/t Amanda Hug'NKiss)

Female Muslim Medics 'Disobey Hygiene Rules'

As if we needed further reminders about how militant Islam is incompatible with modernity:

Muslim medical students are refusing to obey hygiene rules brought in to stop the spread of deadly superbugs, because they say it is against their religion.

Sheffield University also reported a case of a Muslim medic who refused to "scrub" as this left her forearms exposed.

Documents from Birmingham University reveal that some students would prefer to quit the course rather than expose their arms, and warn that it could leave trusts open to legal action.

Hygiene experts said last night that no exceptions should be made on religious grounds.

"I don't think it would be right to make an exemption for people on any grounds. The policy of bare below the elbows has to be applied universally."

Dr Charles Tannock, a Conservative MEP and former hospital consultant, said: "These students are being trained using taxpayers' money and they have a duty of care to their patients not to put their health at risk.

"Perhaps these women should not be choosing medicine as a career if they feel unable to abide by the guidelines that everyone else has to follow."

But the Islamic Medical Association insisted that covering all the body in public, except the face and hands, was a basic tenet of Islam.

"No practising Muslim woman - doctor, medical student, nurse or patient - should be forced to bare her arms below the elbow," it said.

As Mark Hemingway noted on The Corner, "Hey, you know what's really immodest? Claiming your religion as a pretext to justify giving other people staph infections."

I've always said that if you want to test whether some grievance is ridiculous or not, you should try swapping in the adjectives of a Designated Oppressor Group (e.g. white, Christian, male, conservative, heterosexual, etc.) for the po' widdle babies complaining as in this story. It looks like this:

Catholic medical students are refusing to obey hygiene rules brought in to stop the spread of deadly superbugs, because they say it is against their religion.

Women training in several hospitals in England have raised objections to removing their arm coverings in theatre and to rolling up their sleeves when washing their hands, because it is regarded as immodest in Catholicism.

How much sympathy would those people get? They'd be told, "Roll up the sleeves and wash or GTFO!!!!", wouldn't they? Duh.

Kwame Sez He Sorry

Heh.

Baby Pandas! Baby Pandas! Baby Pandas!

Gawker has a compilation of terrible CNN.com headlines like...





The latter one drew this comment:

"If mixing rape with romance is wrong, I don't wanna be right. They're my vodka and tonic."

Charming readers there.

(h/t: Digg)