Why It Sucks To Be Me.

This is what greeted me as I left Hermione's house in Detroit to go to work about an hour ago:



I'm sure that this larceny was no more than a reaction to 400 years of slavery and oppression and a pittance compared to the reparations I should be paying for a lifetime of White Skin Privilege. Yeah, that's what happened. Justice.

UPDATE (11/13): They sent a pair of cute lady cops to take my report. One looked like pro beach volleyball player Misty May and the blonde looked like she should be working in a tanning salon, not packing heat on the ghetto streets of tha D. I wonder if they get stuck with all the little property crime stuff or whether they also kick down the doors of crack houses. If I was remaking "Cagney & Lacey", they'd look like these two.

I was expecting to have to get it towed to a dealership and they were saying it'd be a day or two to get the wheels ordered and in, but my insurance company claims person told be they had a deal with a tire supplier to bring out replacement wheels and put them on in the drive. Of course I opted for that, but doesn't it seem odd that the dealership doesn't have wheels in stock but this tire place does? The body shop guy at the dealer found that interesting as did some people at my work. Will somebody be getting my wheels on their car because theirs got jacked? Hmmmm.

It was a busy night for the thieves. The blonde cop told me another car of the same model got tagged a couple of blocks down the street and the towing company said they had three calls in the neighborhood themselves. I had a hard time sleeping thru the night last night. I usually sleep so deeply, someone could steal me without my noticing.

That's life in tha D. Having a "thug maya" encourages thug crime that's surely hitting blacks and whites alike. Too bad political correctness excuses these parasites. This is what Bill Cosby is talking about. Too bad Sharpton is viewed as more a moral authority, despite his record of lying and inciting hatred. Fortunately, not all blacks are happy with Al and Jesse speaking for them. We'll be able to get along sometime after you stop stealing people's stuff, yo.

24: The Unaired 1994 Pilot

Due to the Writers Guild strike, it's been announced that Season 7 of "24" will be postponed until they can put on an uninterrupted season. Those looking for their "Jack Bauer Power Hour" fix will have to settle for a peak at the original pilot episode produced seven years before it finally hit the air in 2001.

Look Up!

Snazzy, eh? I'll be changing the header from time to time, perhaps seasonally, so subscribe to the feed at right to see what sort of awesomeness gets put atop Dirkworld!

Jimmy Carter: Cat Murderer!

Will PETA rise up to demand that his Nobel Peace Prize (for working toward the extermination of the Jews) be revoked?

I saw this letter yesterday in the Athenaeum, a private library and document collection in Eufaula, Alabama—just over the river and around the way from Jimmy’s home in Plains, Georgia. It’s addressed to his sister-in-law Sybil Carter, Billy’s widow.

5/13/90

To Sybil,

Lamentably, I killed your cat while trying just to sting it. It was crouched, as usual, under one of our bird feeders & I fired from some distance with bird shot. It may ease your grief somewhat to know that the cat was buried properly with a prayer & that I’ll be glad to get you another of your choice.

Love, Jimmy

Yeesh. Dick Cheney sprays a friend - who SURVIVES - and he never hears the end of it, but this peanut head gets to KILL a defenseless critter and he's the elder statesman of politics. Come to think of it, Ted Kennedy has a body count. What is it about Democrats and killing people?

Let's Just Call This "Deep Mike".

At the end of a typically juvenile post of videos of girls exhibiting their lack of gag reflex on various phallic-shaped objects was this video of a poor male singer who, well, take a look...



I wish they showed how that resolved. I'm sure he switched to a headset mike after this incident. That is, if he survived.

Now I'm Doubly Glad I Dumped AT&T.

While the long process of mopping up after my mother's affairs drags on, one thing I recently did was axe the AT&T service and switch to Vonage at a savings of about 70% per month. I don't know why the bill was so freaking high, but it's clear from this video, they weren't using my money to train their CSRs in basic human empathy.

See what happens when your house burns down and you've got AT&T TV service:

Steven Colbert Loses It.

Nothing metaphorical about this item, just a four-year-old clip from the Daily Show in which the usually unflappable Colbert totally augers in after a couple of minutes.



(h/t: Gorilla Mask)

Sam Brownback Drops Out

This explains why today feels no different from any other day.

The Inconvenient Truths About Rendition (Not That The Truth Matters To Some)

The latest fantasy film about how evil America is and how noble terrorists are, Rendition, came out today and even the reliably liberal movie critics aren't rolling over and playing dead like they did for the toxic and dishonest "white people BAD!" Oscar-winner "Crash" as it only has a 43% score at Rotten Tomatoes.

How dishonest is "Rendition"? Daniel Benjamin, a senior fellow at the Brookings Institution, and former Clinton Regime NSC staffer for five years felt the need to clear up "5 Myths About Rendition (and That New Movie)":

In fact, the term "rendition" in the counterterrorism context means nothing more than moving someone from one country to another, outside the formal process of extradition. For the CIA, rendition has become a key tool for getting terrorists from places where they're causing trouble to places where they can't. The problem is where these people are taken and what happens to them when they get there. As a former director for counterterrorism policy on the National Security Council staff, I've been involved with the issue of rendition for nearly a decade -- and some of the myths surrounding it need to be cleared up.

1. Rendition is something the Bush administration cooked up.

2. People who are "rendered" inevitably end up in a foreign slammer -- or worse.

3. Step one of a rendition involves kidnapping the suspect.

4. Rendition is just a euphemism for outsourcing torture.

5. Pretty much anyone -- including U.S. citizens and green card holders -- can be rendered these days.

How many of these myths have you swallowed thanks to the endless drumbeat of anti-Dubya rhetoric? Go read some facts. You're welcome.

Not that the unhinged Can'tMoveOn.Argh types are hearing any of it. The very first comment at the time I'm writing this is typical bile and rage that animates these moonbats:

By the way he talks, sounds like Mr. Benjamin is a great candidate for indictment as a war criminal. Perhaps we can get Blackwater a contract to shanghai ("render") Mr. Benjamin to the criminal court in The Hague and let justice be served. Wow, 10 years experience in kidnapping people off the street and sending them to be tortured in the world's nastiest dictatorships. Wow again.rage:

(I wonder if this mook is planning on voting for Hillary! to return the glorious Clinton name to the throne?)

The Washington Post is a leader of the Treason Media and published the national security-violating story that won the traitor Dana Priest a Pulitzer Prize, but to the unhinged morons that make up the Democratic Party base these days, the WaPo is just as evil as Darth Fox News. Reality is the enemy for these bozos.

Apple's Still Sour (and Their Cultists Are Still Losers!)

It's been 8 days since Apple received my defective iPod Classic and still no sign of a repaired or replacement unit coming back. The support site says that they're "Diagnosing product" which makes a lot of sense that it was MY diagnostic experiments that prompted my demand for a replacement. The battery sucks, you morons! SEND ME A WORKING UNIT!!!! Yeesh.

Keeping on the sour Apple tip, I missed this article, "The Worst Thing about Macs", by Jason Cross which lists the problems Macs have, not so much the machines, but the annoying, arrogant, asstackling (L)USERS of said machines.

3. Apple fans have an attitude where, when Apple does something bad, it's okay, or at least understandable. When other companies, especially arch-rival Microsoft, does the same exact thing, it's a travesty and obviously clear evidence of why the courts should take them down. When Microsoft bundles its own software with Windows, it's time for antitrust litigation. When Apple does the same with Mac computer or OS X, they're not shutting out competitors—they're adding value. Open source rules, and Windows is bad for being closed, except of course for how OS X is closed, because that's okay. And nobody gives credit to Microsoft for having a smartphone platform that allows for real 3rd party applications, instead celebrating the clever ways in which hackers have managed to get around Apple's "not on my phone" policy to do the same. Until they update the phone and brick it, of course. You know, AT&T refusing to provide unlock codes for iPhones is against federal regulations, right? Where's the outrage?

Did I mention that the members of the Cupertino Death Cult are also hypocrites? That, too.

Cross follows up this week with some feedback that isn't very interesting except for a link he provides at the end to a site that accurately satirizes the Apple Product Cycle. A snip:

• An obscure component manufacturer somewhere in the Pacific Rim announces a major order for some bleeding-edge piece of technology that could conceivably become part of an expensive, digital-lifestyle-enhancing nerd toy.

• Some hardware geek, the sort who actually reads press releases from obscure Pacific Rim component manufacturers, posts a link to the press release in a Mac Internet forum.

• The Mac rumor sites spring into action. Liberally quoting “reliable” sources inside Cupertino, irrelevant “experts,” and each other, they quickly transform baseless speculation into widely accepted fact.

• Apple releases the first software update for the new device through its Software Update control panel. Several hours later, it pulls the updater. A small number of people who applied the update experience crashes, data loss, headaches and ennui. The Apple support forums are filled with outraged posts. A day or so later, Apple releases a revised installer without comment, then quietly removes the angry posts from its support forums.

• Wall Street analysts appear on CNBC to explain that Apple's device will never be able to compete with the onslaught of cheaper Windows-based competitors. Apple's stock plummets. Idiot technology investors experience a brief moment of deja vu before they return to masturbating to photos of Maria Bartiromo.

Be sure to read the author's CV.

Shouldn't Talent Be A Prerequisite For A Talent Segment?

Suddenly, the end of "Little Miss Sunshine" doesn't seem so lame.

Buy Me This Shirt!!!

Every wonder if there is a wi-fi hotspot nearby? Well, if you get me this shirt...



...and are standing in front of me, you'll know for sure and how strong the signal is.

Back To The Orchard It Goes

The battery concerns I've had since the 2nd day I've had my iPod Classic have come to a head and I filed a service complaint with Apple and they're sending a box for me to ship back my obviously defective unit for replacement.

After putting up with the intermittent self-pausing and craptastic battery life for a few weeks, it really showed me how much Steve Jobs thinks of the suckers who buy his defective crap by shedding 2/3rds of its power reserves after less than 4 hours of play. FTS!

Of the three iPods I've owned - a 10GB 2G, 40GB 4G, and this 80GB Classic - I've found the failure rate of iPods to be double that of the notorious X.B.O.X.3.6.0., but will the herds of Apple cultists aver acknowledge that? Yep, thought not.

Flash Photography

This just cracked me up something crazy:



Yeah, the lighting doesn't match, but it's still a hoot.

No Smoking!!! (Unless You're Muslim, That Is)

Mark Steyn casts an askance glance at the latest example of Western civilization's unwillingness to stand up for itself. Ganked in toto from The Corner:

Okay, Muslim foot-baths in Kansas City airport, gender-segregated swimming sessions at French municipal pools, banning pork from Aussie hospital menus, no eating donuts for Belgian cops during Ramadan, no seeing-eye dogs or alcohol in Minneapolis taxi cabs, fine, fine, fine. Must be sensitive and all that.

But this is an amazing victory. In Vancouver, infidels can't smoke but Muslims can:

Vancouver's hookah-parlour owners are celebrating after winning an exemption Thursday from a proposed new bylaw that will ban smoking on most sidewalks in commercial districts, in bus shelters and even in taxis passing through Vancouver.

In giving the bylaw unanimous approval-in-principle, Vancouver city council members bowed to arguments that hookah lounges provide an important cultural space for the city's Muslims and granted them a temporary exemption...

[Emad Yacoub] said hookah lounges are essential for immigrants from hookah-smoking cultures, because it helps them deal with the depression common for newcomers and gives them places like they have at home.

Where do the rest of us go to deal with depression? As Jay Currie asks, "What about my culture?"

By creating a special exemption for Muslims - who do seem to be the only immigrant group actively demanding these sorts of “cultural accommodations” we are basically declaring our Muslim citizens worthy of special treatment and, at the same time, unworthy of the health concerns which are purported to be the basis of general smoking bans.

The state, in other words, is prepared to treat Muslims as free-born adults who can weigh the "cultural value" (ie, the pleasures) of smoking against the health risks. But not the rest of us.

Hermione smokes a little and has felt the fascist grip of Canuck nannyism tighten on her over the years during our sojourns to Toronto. I'll have to tell her to light up and when anyone hassles her, she should say, "Back off! I'm Muslim, Bub!" even though she's so melanin deficient that she can be used to set a white balance.

Friday Fiver

I was going to do a Morning Coffee, but I've got too much on my plate to be distracted. (Please try to be strong.)

1. Do you like looking at stars?

In the sky or the tabloids?

2. Who do you say "I love you" to?

No one.

3. Did you say "good night!" to anyone last night?

Yes. (Your mother.)

4. When is the last time you felt blue?

That would imply that I've stopped feeling blue in the last four months.

5. Tell us one of your dreams:

For the drama to end.

"Don't Tase Me, Bro! Ow, Ow, OWWW!!!!"

By now, the quote in the title is as groan-inducing after only a few days as "Where's The Beef?" is today after two decades. However, Uber has gathered 10 examples of stun gun lovin' action including this #4 entry which I'd seen before, but never shared because it's kind of depressing. I'll wait while you get aghasted, too...

OK, while stupid dumbasses harming themselves is usually mildly entertaining and people generally do dumb stuff when they've been drinking and are stupid, I've never been that drunk with hot babes AND suggested, "You know what would be fun, guys? Getting out the camera and zapping each other with the stun gun AND throwing shirkens into our asses! Yeah!!! Hey, Britney, why don't you sing a little before we zap ya?"

Their parents must be so proud.

How Stupid Does Joe Klein Think We Are?

Joe Klein is a Clinton water-carrier and general tool, but what is amazing is that he is so up his own ass that he doesn't even realize that he's refuting his own point with his own "evidence" in his poo-fling entitled "Why Drudge is a Disgrace"

I know this is old news, but this guy is shameless. The headline, with a photo of a three-quarters crazed Hillary, is HEALTH INSURANCE PROOF REQUIRED FOR WORK but the linked story says this:

At this point, we don't have anything punitive that we have proposed," the presidential candidate said in an interview with The Associated Press. "We're providing incentives and tax credits which we think will be very attractive to the vast majority of Americans."

She said she could envision a day when "you have to show proof to your employer that you're insured as a part of the job interview — like when your kid goes to school and has to show proof of vaccination," but said such details would be worked out through negotiations with Congress.

How stupid does he think we are? Answer: Extremely dumbolic.

Look at the bold text above. How is what Drudge wrote different from what Hillary! said?

How stupid does Joe Klein think we are? Answer: Extremely dumbolic.

"Because It Ain't Funny Unless An Animal Is Getting Hurt!"

The title of this post is something Hermione and I say to each other whenever we see a trailer for a comedy which features a shot of some pet being in a cast or something. (e.g. "Problem Child" and that one where a dog is in a full body cast; "There's Something About Mary", perhaps?)

Well, this woman(!) has collected over 50 photos of animals in casts including these injured pooches and kittehs:

Bill Maher: Un-American Idiot

The smug, unfunny, bitter, angry, bigoted and unhinged jackass was on Blitzed Wolf's "Situation Room" program because, well, I guess because there are no better commentators available to analyze world events than bitter asstacklers like Maher.



For those short on time (and weak of stomach), the co-star of "D.C. Cab" calls Dubya a liar and anyone who doesn't spew the defeatist and self-hating shibboleths of the extreme Left "stooges." Yeah, right, Bill. Your speech rights sure are being infringed, aren't they? When Wolf Blitzer is calling you out on your bullsh*t, perhaps it's time to stick to what you're best at: being insincere to hot black women.

Mallrats + Superfriends = Justice Rats!

More mash-up wackiness!



There are a bunch more of varying humorousity here, but this was the funniest one I watched.

Happy Birthday, :-)!!!

Tomorrow morning is when the Digital 'Smiley Face' Turns 25 thanks to Carnegie Mellon professor Scott E. Fahlman, who typed a colon followed by a hyphen and a parenthesis to form the first "emoticon." To celebrate this moment, let's give Professor Fahlman a couple of \m/.

Tuesday Morning Coffee

JIHADIST IN MY BACKYARD UPDATE - The intellectually-crippling effects of political correctness and multi-culturalism are on full display in this vacuous Freep article which is headlined, "Armed student's motives unclear Dearborn."

His face painted black, Houssein Zorkot entered a park in east Dearborn Sept. 8, cocked an AK47 he had bought the same day, and then tried to flee police after they confronted him, authorities say.

Were those the actions of a confused young man or those of a potential terrorist with ill intentions?

Dearborn authorities say it's unclear what Zorkot, a 26-year-old medical student from Dearborn, was up to when he was in Hemlock Park armed with the AK47 he had purchased about 1 p.m. that day.

The FBI and police are investigating Zorkot, who appears sympathetic to Hizballah, a terrorist group. But for now, they've found no direct links between him and any terrorist organization, Dearborn Mayor John O'Reilly Jr. said. Dearborn police referred all calls to the mayor.

A reader's comment captures the reality disconnect nicely:

Let's flip this one around.

Let's say a 26 year old white male who had maintained a neo-nazi website was arrested stalking around a public park with an automatic weapon. Think that story would get much coverage? It would be on the front page of every local paper for days, and RIGHTFULLY SO.

Double standards are fun.

Yep. (h/t: Power Line)

ADRENALINE DODGE = TEH SUCK - Finally got past the T. Rex boss fight in Tomb Ho Anniversary last night after getting the hang of the new Adrenaline Dodge maneuver that replaced the cool bullet time kickoff effect from Tomb Ho Legend. I got so frustrated that I started checking online to see if others were having a problem with it. (Others were.)

The big problem is that despite being a Games For Windows title - which requires out-of-box support for the 360 gamepad - the buttons when using the pad aren't identified; all the commands are as if you're using a mouse and keyboard. Lame. Marvel Ultimate Alliance and Bioshock (I believe) change according to the control method - so should this.

ADD GLOBAL WARMING ALONG WITH POLITICS AND RELIGION TO THE LIST of topics you don't discuss in polite company. I was surprised to get a message at MySpace from an old co-worker whom I'd lost touch with after changing jobs. While I was catching her up about what was happening with my mother and the insane situation so many people are (and will) face with regards to paying for it I made the observation that no one seems to be too aroused by this real problem, but they're in a full-blown Apocalyptic tizzy over mythical man-made global warming.

Uh-oh. She was a Believer. And like most Believers, generally disinterested in the real inconvenient truths with regard to her religious faith. The best part was when she disqualified Michael Crichton's comments because he was just a silly M.D. who writes books and creates TV series and wasn't an environmental scientist who preached the true faith as received from the Goreacle.

Perhaps she'll Google the Medieval Warm Period, the Little Ice Age, and wonder how it is that the planet used to be a tropical environment awash in vegetation and dinosaurs AND covered in hemispheric glaciers without the presence of - much less influence from - the accursed human race.

I'm not holding my breath.

DIRK'S DISH DU JOUR - I have this as my wallpaper at home, so enjoy MAW (model-actress-whatever) Kelly Brook.



While the obvious babealiciousness is obvious, the photographer in me marvels at just how much flash power must've been necessary to make that picture.

What Happens When You Hassle A Liberal?

You get beat down, tasered and arrested like this...



The round-up is at Malkin's Haus o' Style, but it appears that this tool was being rude to John Francois Kerry (D-France) and unlike conservative speakers like Ann Coulter, instead of allowing the speakers to be harassed (or have pies thrown at them), the authorities rushed in to manhandle the twit, Mayor Daley-style.

This is in keeping with traditional fascistic liberal policies regarding dissenting speech as we saw when the psychopathic Al Franken violently attacked someone who dared exercise their First Amendment rights in a manner which Laughin' Al disapproved of in 2004; earning the protester the privilege of being body-slammed by the former cokehead SNL writer-cum-Senatorial wannabe. Meanwhile, physical attacks upon conservatives will continue unabated.

===========

UPDATE: Kerry, who droned on oblivious to the distress of a citizen belatedly released a statement condemning the tasing - actually, I think he was zapped with a stun gun, not a proper Taser, which is a gun the fires darts trailing wires that deliver the shock - prompting one wag to observe that "he was for tasing before he was against it." Every conservative talk show I heard played clips, but the best context for this dolt may be found in this classic Monty Python bit.



Indeed! (I need to dig my copy out and give it a watch.)

Monday Morning Coffee

DIRK® MINI-REVIEWS IT FOR YOU: LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD - Better than expected sequel that will be more enjoyable if you haven't seen the trailers or online previews which give away every single major action beat and wisecrack. Willis wears John McLain like a broken-in leather jacket and the Mac kid wasn't as annoying as he is in the Apple ads. The story is convoluted, the villain poorly motivated, and the "yeah, right" moments a little too yeah-righty, but stuff blows up real good, Maggie Q is hot, and it's a good popcorn flick. Score: 7/10 - See it at the dollar show.

DIRK® MINI-REVIEWS IT FOR YOU: AB-NORMAL BEAUTY - Another disappointing mess from Oxide Pang whose "The Eye" (currently being Americanized and remade with Jessica Alba in the lead) was a decent J-horror flick. In this one, a cute Hong Hong art student becomes obsessed with photographing death, much to the disgust of her (implied) lesbian girlfriend and the nerdy film student who stalks and obsesses about her. Weird for weird's sake, it takes a crazy left turn into "Saw" country and the final revelation is craptacular. It has a mood and a look and the girls are cute - though the fact that the actresses are sisters (they don't look alike and I was surprised to learn this) kills any hoped-for hot girl-girl action - but the story goes nowhere and makes little sense. Score: 3/10 - Catch it if it's on cable.

DUBYA BENDS OVER FOR HIS ENEMIES AGAIN - Instead of picking Ted Olson to replace the lame-o Alberto "VO5" Gonzales as Attorney General, Dubya can't find the stones to say "bring it on" to the fascist Dems who have already started Borking Olson, so he's picked some retired judge named Michael Mukasey is is suspect simple because Chuckie Schumer hasn't smeared him yet. Dubya is a coward and a punk. Can't wait for him to be gone.

HAVE THE DEMS ALREADY LOST IN 2008? - Last week's disgusting smear ad by Can'tMoveOn.Argh against Gen. Patreaus that was NOT repudiated by the surrender and appeasement Dems wishing to be Commander-in-Chief sharply illustrates the lousy choice Americans have in next year's Presidential election. On the Stupid Party side are a bunch of warm beer "moderates" who are willing to pay lip service to fighting Islamofascism and on the Dem side are a pack of appeasers and traitors.

That the Dems can't even bring themselves to say, "Dubya has fought the war the wrong way; we'll fight it the right way." even if that would be insincere says everything we need to know about their disqualifications to hold power. "The war is lost." sends a message of weakness, aid and comfort to our enemies but the Dems don't care as long as it means political damage to Dubya. These Democrats aren't Americans. They are traitors. Since no one is going to round them up for their treasons, the best we can hope for is that the People wake the fook up and not continue voting for them. (Yeah, that's gonna happen.)

THE JUICE AIN'T LOOSE (YET) - So the double-murdering O.J. Simpson is in jail for robbery in Vegas. Yeah, it's like busting Capone for tax evasion, but it's a start.

APPLE BATTERY UPDATE - The battery crapped out after about 20 hours, but after recharging it and using it for 2.5-3 hours over the weekend, the battery gauge on the main screen shows it as being full, though the clock/battery gauge screen shows some drain. Stay tuned.

RETHINKING JESSICA ALBA'S THESPIAN SKILLS? - While trying to track down some weird behavior by my new DVD deck, I popped in the first disc of "Dark Angel" - the series that made her a star - and she didn't seem as lame, though I'm not about to retract my criticisms yet. I'd blocked out all the lame supporting characters at the Jam Pony office, too. The show always wavered in its makeup and got strangled by Fox (who else) before it could stabilize, though they did give it two complete seasons. (Co-creator James Cameron ignored it until it was too late.) It had more of a chance than "Firefly" had.

DIRK'S DISHES DU JOUR - Since they were the best part of "Ab-Normal Beauty", I give you Rosanne and Race Wong.



Cute! Read a little more about them at "Know your PreFab Cantopop Bands."

Friday Morning Coffee

APPLE BATTERY WOES? - The 80GB iPod Classic is advertised to have a 30 hours audio play time but it appears I'll be lucky to get HALF that much. After only a couple of hours of play on an overnight charge - it's supposed to fully charge in 4 hours and it was on the dock for about 10 hours - the battery gauge was already down to 3/4. I've been running it on shuffle play for the past 12.5 hours (at this writing) and it's down to about 20%. I forgot to bring the AC adapter so when it dies in the middle of this afternoon, I'll be back to listening to the radio until I get home. Oh, bother.

My first iPod had a crap battery, too. I remember having to send it in for replacement right off the bat when I found the battery was only lasting about three hours (IIRC) back when they were supposed to last 12 hours. What a pain.

JIHADIST IN MY BACK YARD - Less than three miles from my workplace in Dearbornistan a practitioner of what Dubya inanely (and insanely) calls "a religion of peace and love" was arrested in a park with an AK-47 while wearing black clothes and camouflage facepaint. Hit the link to see the reporting of what will surely be swept under the rug as a "lone nut" and not someone consumed by a poisonous and murderous ideology.

I see that this guy was a third-year medical student; aren't jihadists motivated by poverty and desperation? That's what they tell us even though some of the 9/11 highjackers were engineers, the latest bombers in the UK were doctors as is Al Queda's #2 goon. No, the only reason people want to kill us is because of Israel and Evil Capitalist Corporations. Pffft.

FRIDAY FIVER:

1. Have you ever run away?

No. Does avoidance count?

2. What is the longest you've dated someone?

15 years.

3. What don't you like to think about?

All the problems in my life.

4. What was your last illness?

I guess a cold or something earlier this year.

5. Do you like to get revenge?

Look who you are asking.

DIRK'S DISH DU JOUR - Because you can never have too much Elisha Cuthbert!



It's too small to see here, but in the fine print at the bottom it says that "The Quiet" and "Captivity" would be in theaters in summer 2006. Did the latter get shelved for a whole year? I know there was a stink about their billboards in L.A., but if they waited a year to release, they missed the whole heyday of the torture horror genre. Clean out your desks, you losers in Marketing!

NEWS I CAN'T USE DEPT. - I was talking with Hermione last night and she said, "Bad news. Jessica Alba's off the market. She's back with Cash." I replied, "Oh, like I was just poised to make my move." If only...

BTW, the ads for "Good Luck Chuck", her new movie with Dane Cook look like she's going to try to do some pratfall comedy. Oddly, this may work for her. We'll see.

The Hottie Thespian Series: Elisha Cuthbert

Last week I had an item discussing the relative merits of Alyssa Milano and Jessica Alba on the front that they're rarely judged by: their acting skills. For those too lazy to click, the crux was that Alba was pretty, but showed little acting abilities; Milano was not only willing to do nudity, but could actually act enough to make it more than just a flesh fair.

The purpose of the Hottie Thespian Series (pat. pend.) is to discuss the overlooked talents of beautiful actresses who don't get their due because people hate them because they're beautiful. And to post hot pictures of them, too! Usually they have to de-glam themselves to get noticed (e.g. Halle Berry, Charlize Theron, Nicole Kidman), but what we'll try to do is focus on the performances they give while still looking purdy.

Our first contestant is Elisha Cuthbert who starts off at a disadvantage because she came to prominence by playing Kim Bauer on "24", who started off the whole series by sneaking out of the house and being a distraction to her father, uber-hardcore mack daddy Jack Bauer.



By the time the day was done, her poor mother, who had to look for her ended up having to schtup a terrorist to protect her daughter virtue, getting amnesia, and eventually shot to death by Jack's terrorist ex-girlfriend/CTU mole. Yeah, she looked hot in her cheerleader t-shirt, but what a twit she was.



Her ignominy grew in the second season when she got got in a leg trap and menaced by a mountain lion, considered a low point for the show until the dreadful sixth season happened. Mysteriously, the producers thought we were supposed to accept that this bimbette was qualified to work at CTU, but considering the mole-du-jour plotting for the show, why not? When she was last seen in Season Five, she was shacked up with her therapist and a total bitch to Jack, blaming him for her mother's death. Uh......wrong.



Her first big movie was "The Girl Next Door" in which she played a high school student with a dark past as a porno actress - yeah, I know that she should've been too old for high school and not been Traci Lords, if you follow - and while it was regarded as a "Risky Business"-ish teen comedy, there was some nuances to her performance as a damaged girl who knew that men expected her to behave in real life as she did in her films.



But the real showcase for her was the weird, creepy art house flick, "The Quiet" (DVD review here) in which she plays a high school hottie (a stretch) who is being molested by her father and she is of a decidedly mixed mind about it. The review mentions the scene where she reveals her secret to another girl and that's what I was thinking when I watched the movie - Elisha's got some chops, but will she get to showcase them?



Her last film, the torture horror flick "Captivity", flopped at the box office, but the whole genre seems to have run it's course as "Hostel 2" also bricked despite actually garnering some decent reviews. (If "Saw 4" fails at Halloween, that will pretty much put the button on this ugly genre.) To blame Cuthbert isn't fair, though her turn in the "House of Wax" remake should've counted for something unless teen fans don't care about her.



Coming this fall is "He Was A Quiet Man" which puts her across from Christian Slater (who looks like he's trying to reclaim some acting cred) and William H. Macy. Here's the trailer:



Dark hair? Check. Paralyzed? Yep. Serious ACTING? Could be!!! The movie looks a little predictable and showy, but at least it's not another three-quel.



Finally, what does this picture make you think of?



When is "They Call Me Blondie: The Deborah Harry Story" going into production?

Finally, I was discussing with some comic book store clerk about how wrong it was that Jessica Alba was now wearing creepy blue contact lenses in the second "Fantastic Four" and suggested that they should've cast a natural blond like Elisha instead. He replied that she would've looked like how Jack Kirby drew Sue Storm. So, why didn't they cast the role properly? (Not that the movies would've have been mediocre to downright sucky with a different cast.)

UPDATE: Bonus pictures!

Who Actually Toasts Pop-Tarts?

I found some chocolate Pop-Tarts here at work and as I was nibbling them just now, it occurred to me that I NEVER have them warmed in the toaster as they're designed to be prepared. I'm sure I've had them warmed once or twice in my lifetime, but I wouldn't even think to find a heating device nowadays. Anyone else cook their Pop-Tarts? Beuller? Beuller?

iPod Classic Hands-On Impressions/Mini-Review

I've been rolling with a 40GB 4G monochrome iPod for about three years now and have been bumping up against it's space limits lately and have been looking to upgrade once the sixth-generation units came out. I was hoping for a touchscreen widescreen unit - which arrived in the form of the iPod Touch - but as I mentioned below, it's too expensive and much too small in capacity, so I went with an 80GB iPod Classic.



I thought I'd get a 160GB model, but decided I didn't need that much space and saved the Benjamin. The first surprise was how small the box was - about the size of a thick paperback book. Apple used to include an AC adapter and dock, but now they'll sell these to you for $78, and their omission means a smaller box. (I didn't take photos of my ritualistically unpacking, so you'll just have to go to one of the other 37,000 sites out there with galleries of the Apple fruits fetishing their new toys.) The iPod is on top of a tray which you pull out to get an elegant folder containing the sparse (and useless) instructions. A sealed packet with the earbuds, the USB cable and a plastic piece that I guess adapts for a different dock than the one I have is on the bottom of the box. The Classic fit fine in my existing dock despite being about half as thick.

That's the first surprise of the Classic: It's damn small! I'd seen the 5G video units and noted they were smaller, but this is crazy. Combined with the larger display, my trusty neoprene case/clip doesn't fit. Drat. The click wheel is also a hair smaller and the button is recessed instead of being an outtie and I'm finding it hard to precisely and quickly scroll the darn thing with my large, manly hands. That's a minus.

The screen is gorgeous. Using an LED backlight, it's bright and clear and accurately shows the lousy compression that CloneDVD applied to its rip of my DVD of "The Animatrix". Perhaps a higher bit rate will fair better, but at least it shows that the screen will notice corner-cutting. (BTW: The 1:40 title compressed down to ~480MB.)

The largest problem I ran into was the fact that my old iPod somehow had more stuff on it than showed up in the library meaning that if I just synced the new one, I'd have less content than I had. Using the instructions here I copied the music off the old iPod and imported it to iTunes. Unfortunately, as I suspected may happen, this now meant I had duplicate tracks for almost my entire collection and had to MANUALLY delete the dupes; a not-very-fun 2-1/2-hour-long process. [sigh] Once cleaned up, it was about another hour or so to drag the 9500+ songs over to the new iPod.

In addition to the iffy touch response and lack of accessories, the other gouge is how the "80GB" unit only has 74.3GB of usable space after formatting - a 7% loss - and while this is nowhere near the 35% shrinkage of the Xbox 360's 20GB HD space, it's still annoying. Even with a bunch of Strong Bad video podcasts and "The Animatrix", I'm only at 41.2GB used, so I'm feeling good about going with the smaller unit.

When the iPod was introduced six years ago at price points of $399 and $499 for 5GB and 10GB respectively, I loved the idea of the gadget, but hated the inflated price Lord Jobs' Apple commanded for it. I argued that it needed to come down to a commodity price and for the past couple of years, it's made some good moves, but now it's really at a price point that can't be ignored and it's a slick bit of kit to boot. (If you don't have a lot of music, then check out the 4GB Nano for $149 for it has a nice screen, too.)

PROS:
• Nice display and interface
• Thin and new metal front is solid
• Good value

CONS:
• Fidgety touch wheel
• No accessories included
• Apple users are still jerks

BOTTOM LINE: DIRK® APPROVED!!!

Note: The battery life is supposed to be 30 hours for audio and 5 hours for video playback, but since I just got it, I'll have to update later with real-world observations.

UPDATE: Uh-oh. While the iLounge review said that battery life was better than advertised, it appears that I've got a bum unit as the battery gauge is showing 2/3rds full after only a couple of hours of play. My first iPod (a 2G bought cheap when the 3Gs were introduced - look up the date yourselves) had a crap battery that died after only a couple of hours and right now I'm doing a drain test to see if I just got screwed my Apple again. Yeah, the warranty will cover it, but what a PITMFA. Stay tuned.

Protesting War By Killing Innocent Civilians

How crazy are the unhinged whack jobs who are so consumed with hatred for America defending itself against Islamofascist aggression? They'll murder a student who was just waiting for a train.

AMSTERDAM, Netherlands (AP) - A U.S. citizen has confessed to using an axe to kill a Dutch student after failing to find a soldier to attack, his lawyer said Tuesday.

The suspect, Carlos Hartmann, 41, of Tecumseh, Mich., has confessed to the Sept. 8 killing on a train platform in the southern city of Roosendaal, defence lawyer Peter Gremmen said.

Gremmen said Hartmann wanted to punish the Netherlands for its support of the war in Iraq.

Hartmann appeared before a judge Tuesday and was ordered held for another two weeks for investigation.

"He hates soldiers, and says that the army kills people, so it would be legitimate if he were also to kill someone . . . from the American military - or from its NATO allies," Gremmen said in a telephone interview.

When he failed to find a soldier at the Roosendaal train station, "he got such a crazy, disturbed idea that he killed a civilian," Gremmen said.

Hartmann did not attempt to escape and was arrested shortly after the killing.

Nothing says "We must have peace!" like random violence against defenseless civilians. Talk about irony-deficiency! Why do I know that in the extreme Left, the only regret they have is that he wasn't able to kill a soldier as he wanted.

The greater irony? Our soliders are fighting and dying to protect the safety of these f*cktards. How's that for ingratitude?

The iPhone Is Dead! Live Live The ZunePhone!

Appropos of the last post, here is a sneak peek of Micro$oft's (you see what I did there?) killer gizmo!



(h/t: TWiT, PC World)

Steve Jobs Ganks Apple Chumps!

Oh, I'm loving this one because I've constantly been pointing out that Apple users are some of the stupidest life forms on the planet. (Only dog owners are dumber.) Last Wednesday, Apple cult leader/God-Emperor Steve Jobs rolled out the new line of iPods, many of which are quite snazzy. The widescreen touchscreen player everyone wanted came out as the iPod Touch which is basically an iPhone without the crappy phone part. Unfortunately, it's a flash-based unit that costs too much compared to the hard drive-based iPods, so it's a no go for me. I would've picked up one of the black 160GB Ipod Classics yesterday if stupid Beast Buy had it in stock.

But, what was the bestest news of the day was that Apple was slashing the price of the iPhone $200 a mere 69 days after legions of self-important schmucks waited hours in line to obtain one of these hyped devices. Prices always drop on tech: My first iPod, a 10GB 2G unit was $320; my second, a 40GB 4G monochrome was $380; now I'm going to get one that's four times the capacity as well as capable of doing video on its spiffy color screen for roughly the same price. However, these are price drops/feature increases spread over five years, not a one-third price cut two months on. The best headling was this ZD Net blog's: Apple rewards iPhone beta testers with $200 early buyer penalty.

While Lord Jobs quickly tried a backpedal by offering refunds of the difference for those who'd bought in the prior two weeks and a $100 credit for future Apple store purchases, it still doesn't change the fact that the arrogant bastard kicked his most faithful sheep straight in the nuts. But, for all their squawking, how many Apple sheep are going to stop worshipping the man and company who sheared them? [crickets]

My first thought after laughing my ass off at these victims of their own snobbery was ,"I can't wait to hear what Dvorak says about this on TWiT." The podcast is up here and the lead story was exactly this and Dvorak opined that this was Jobs just trying to prove what suckers the fanboys are. He went on to say that Apple must be panicking over the dropoff in sales after the herd gulped down their purchases in the first few days, leaving few sane people interested in a phone that will cost over $2000 over the term of the contract. It helps that the iPhone has been unlocked allowing usage with any network, not just AT&T, but still, yikes. Host Leo Laporte poo-pooed the outrage, but he's a blind Apple fanboy, so apply the requisite amount of sodium chloride to his comments. The show is streamable from the link, so take a listen to the first 15 minutes. (It's a great show, too. I subscribe to it and so should you.)

DOA Tech

No, this isn't about the evil company referenced in the "Dead Or Alive" games, but my misfortune in buying a Logitech Harmony 720 remote control from Costco. To cut to the punchline, the damn battery wouldn't charge and I've got to take it back. Dead right out of the brand new box. I found posts on the Harmony support forums that indicate this isn't a unique occurrence either. Pffft. Glad I didn't drive 50 miles out of my way or order from online. I use a Logitech mouse and have a kicking set of 5.1 surround speakers on my PC by them, but this is some piss-poor quality control, I must say. The sad part is that I had picked up a remote from the stack in the store and put it back in favor of another copy because the blister pack was scratched. Sheesh. I'll bet that one would've worked.

UPDATE: Exchanged it and the moment I popped the battery pack into the new one, it showed signs of life. I thought it odd that a battery would ship with no juice whatsoever.

Iron Man Trailer = Teh Nerdgasm!

This looks DOPE, yo!

Don't Call It A Comeback!

The voluptuous horror that is Britney Spears torpedoed her putative comeback at the MTV Video Music Awards last night. (Who knew they showed videos on that channel?) As much as we love our schadenfreude at celebrities, this is still pretty sad to witness.



Who knew that that Christina Aguilera would turn out to be the respectable Mouskabimbo and K.Fed would be the responsible parent? Go figure.

UPDATE: This article ponders whether it's mean to pick on her not looking as hot as she did when she was 20 and unspoiled by delivering Irish twins. I don't think she look that bad, though a more figure-flattering corset may've been advisable. If she had come out and performed with some alacrity, then no one would be picking on her pooch; it's because she sandbagged the performance that caused the knives to come out.

Spice Girls Reunion - Sharia Style!

First it was Gwen bowing in dhimmitude, so can this be far behind?



(h/t: The Corner)

Friday Morning Coffee

Let's see if I can actually finish one of these and keep it short.

SLOW NEWS DAY, MATT AND SEAN? - Drudge has this picture...

...with this breathless copy:

'GREEN' GORE GOES GULFSTREAM: VIDEO CATCHES ECO-WARRIOR ON LUXURY PRIVATE JET
Fri Sep 07 2007 07:48:23 ET

**Exclusive**

As former Vice President Al Gore waits to hear if he has won this year's Nobel Peace Prize for his tireless effort on climate change, a new video will air this weekend capturing Gore on a fuel-guzzling private jet!

FOXNEWS host Sean Hannity is set to unleash the damning video this Sunday night, network sources reveal.

Developing...

In other words: "Dog bites man; claims to be vegan." Yawn. This is news how?

WALK, FRED, WALK! - Laid-back bloke/actor Fred Thompson culminates 6 months of teasing with the announcement he will be running for President. Again, yawn. You know who have got to be a bit cheesed off by this? The actors who appeared in episodes of "Law & Order" that featured the Tennessee tornado because with those episodes now in the vaults until next November (or whenever Fred's done playing around) due to a tortured idea of what equal time means - the same happened with Ahnuld - they won't be earning residuals.

FRIDAY FIVERS: Only a couple today.

1. Who never returns your phone calls?

Who would I be calling?

2. What was your favorite childhood toy?

Mankind.

3. Who is the last person you greeted at your door?

No one.

4. Who do you need?

Hermione. (Shhhh, don't tell her.)

5. Do you break hearts or do you have your heart broken?

Both. And neither.

==============

1. At the end of today, do you think you'll feel spent or refreshed?

Freshly respent.

2. Do you like back rubs?

Yes.

3. When did you last mislead someone?

It depends on what your definition if "did" is.

4. What color are your eyes?

Green-gray.

5. Friday fill-in: Lastly, let me know ___.

"...if you're planning on filing charges."

Wednesday Morning Coffee

I just saw that I started one of these three weeks ago and never finished it and posted it. Karl Rove isn't news-worthy anymore, is he? Oh, well....

RESOLVED: ALYSSA MILANO IS A BETTER ACTRESS THAN JESSICA ALBA - I've posted before that despite Alba being a smoking hottie who always looks classy on the red carpet, seems like a genuinely nice person and has managed to avoid self-destructing like Lindsey Lohan, she hasn't given any evidence of being able to act a lick. She tries, but never really attains any level of credibility. OTOH, Milano isn't really known as a thespian - that means she acts, not that she digs chicks - but based on one scene in the cheesy smut horror flick "Embrace of the Vampire", she exhibits more range in a few moments than Alba has in her entire career.

For those unfamiliar with the flick, it's about....oh, who cares? It's the film where 90% of the celebrity skin frame grabs of Milano came from. It's worth a look if you're into former sitcom stars grown up. Anyhoo, in one scene, Milano's mousy co-ed is tentatively seduced by Charlotte Lewis, who is photographing her using a magical camera without a minimum focusing distance. As Lewis strips off Milano's clothes, Alyssa's face flickers all sorts of conflicting emotions, any three of which are two more than Alba has exhibited. You can see 15 seconds of the scene here (definitely NSFW!!!) and when you watch it the second time, take a look at her face.

THIS IS PROGRESS? - I picked up a new HD DVD deck last week - Toshiba's flagship HD-XA2 which has been hailed for its exceptional handling of standard DVDs. Well, the picture is quite nice, but there are a few niggling - look it up; it's not racist, you tools - problems with it, most notable that the damn thing can't resume after being turned off; i.e. if you stop in mid-movie, when you start again, you'll need to chapter-skip and fast-forward to where you stopped. This is unbelievable and I've been tearing up the the AVS forums with missives, of which this is typical:

If after 8 months and firmware updates from 1.0 to 2.2, the fact that they haven't added this core usability feature, something so basic as to be incomprehensible that it would be left out, I seriously doubt Toshiba will be patching it in. Perhaps this will be the killer feature of the A35?

This is absolutely inexcusable, especially when the HD DVD specification stipulates that all HD DVD players must have at least 128 MB of built-in flash memory. This is optionally expandable and is used to store downloaded content (e.g. trailers, games, additional advanced applications) or information about the viewer’s HD DVD collection – favorite bookmarks, high scores, frame grabs of video etc. (Source) They have memory for storing HD DVD bookmarks, but not simple "here's where we left off" points?!?!?!? Are you freaking kidding me?!?!?

Last night, while watching "Stranger Than Fiction" (SD), the XA2 froze up when I tried to access a featurette and after it had been sitting at the features menu for about an hour, while I'd flipped over to watch some TV, it refused to eject the disk. Both times I had to hold the power button down to shut it off and then reboot. Both times, my g/f is looking at me with that "So, how is this an improvement?" look that's hard to refute.

A long time ago, I read an article about Jaguar owners who loved their cars and put up with annoyances like them not wanting to start on rainy days due to traditionally shoddy British electrical systems. They thought it was part of the charm. I thought, "If you owned an $8000 Ford Escort," - I said it was a long time ago - "you would be calling it a lemon and cursing the maker, but since it's a $40,000 luxury sports car, you're willing to put up with it and consider it part of being a satisfied customer?"

Exactly.

Hermione called last night to say that she was watching some movies and she could tell the picture was better, but she hates the remote and thinks the lack of resume is Larry Craig.

SPEAKING OF LARRY CRAIG - What is it about the Stupid Party that they can't even manage to pull off a sex scandal properly? Well, when President Hillary! or Obama surrenders to the Islamofascists, I'm sure our new Taliban masters won't take any chances with the hokey-pokey (left foot in, left foot out) Craig; he'll be beheaded for his homosexuality. Why aren't liberal gays worried about their necks? Do they think they'll be spared by the grateful jihadists for their collaboration as liberals in overthrowing America?

SOVIET-STYLE REVISIONISM ON THE MARCH - Vanity Fair shows their irony-deficiency in their retroactive white-washing of the Goreacle's supposedly unfair coverage during the 2000 Election. Apparently, the Treason Media was too harsh and this noble Savior of Humanity was given a raw deal that unfairly contributed to his defeat.

Gee, do you think Dubya will get a similar reappraisal from the media jackals in 2011 as to how he was smeared and lied about by the Treason Media who was so committed to destroying him that they damaged and endangered the country and its security?

Just kidding! Of course he won't! Had you going there, didn't I?

SPEAKING OF SOVIET BEHAVIOR AND DVDS - Why hasn't the Emmy-nominated miniseries "The Path to 9/11" been released on DVD? The answer is simple to one man:

[T]he miniseries' writer, Cyrus Nowrasteh, believes it's crystal clear: Powerful forces are out to protect Bill Clinton's presidential legacy and shield Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-N.Y.) from any potential collateral damage in her bid for the White House.

Nowrasteh, also one of the miniseries' many producers, said he was told by a top executive at ABC Studios that "if Hillary weren't running for president, this wouldn't be a problem."

Well, duh, Bub. The Clintons are the belles of Hollywood's balls and the miniseries was given the beatdown for daring to speak Truth about the fecklessness of the Clinton Regime's mishandling of the growing Islamofascist threat during the Nineties. Why do you think Sandy Burglar was stealing documents from the National Archives? To erase history which would reflect poorly on Hillary!'s bogus bona fides about being able to confront the jihad. Duh, again.

BIOSHOCK = TEH SHIZNATCH, YO! If you like shooters and you've got an Xbox 360 or (preferably) a beefy PC, you must check out the supremely atmospheric Bioshock. Of course, "atmospheric" is an ironic word to use for a game set at the bottom of the sea. There is some anti-intellectual backlashing starting to be heard of the "it ain't all that stripe, but ignore them and listen to me: It's one of the best games you'll play this year and it's shaping up to be a great year for games. Join the Cult of Rapture.

DIRK'S DISHES DU JOUR: That's right...TAG TEAM BABES! Even though one's a better actress than the other, that's not to say there isn't room for both of them, ya dig?



See? It's all love here and they've kissed and made up and uh...uh....

I'll be in my bunk.

An AP's Backtalk Gets Promoted.

Despite the surprising amount of traffic here at Dirkworld®, comments are pretty scarce with the exception of one particularly rude jackhole whom I've dubbed the Anonymous Pussy because he refuses to e-mail me - the address is on the sidebar, Bub - when he wishes to ask a question, preferring to clutter unrelated topics' Backtalk sections with sneering posts trying to prop up some liberal agenda item or talking point.

Even as committed Surrendercrats like Dick "Turban" Durban and Hillary! say that the surge has shown signs of progress, the AP brays his mantra of failure, defeat and obsession that someone in Iraq may have a gun. It got to the point that I've had to post warnings and then just flat out deny comments for their inappropriateness and bad manners. This led to the predictable howls of censorship and claims that I'm afraid to debate him when the reality is that I flatten his lies so hard with facts that he should be calling for the UN to protect him.

He pulled the same old shenanigans on the prior post with the cute kitties, but since it was succinct and worthy of a quick response, I'm bringing it up as a post to cover anyone else's curiosity about current events that I've been unable to expound upon. The Anonymous Pussy burbled:

Are you bored Dirk? No comments on the Gonzalez mess or the fact that everyone on Earth thinks Hilary or Obama will be our next president?

Bored? No, more like busy as hell.

I was gonna post a couple of words about Gonzo being gone-zo (har-har), but why bother? He sucked at the job and had no business being there. (The wrist slap for Sandy Burglar was typical incompetence.) The only thing I feel sorry for him about is how he was so thoroughly smeared by the Dems and their lackeys in the Treason Media. A couple of weeks ago, Time said that the only reason he was there was to protect Team Dubya from investigations. HA!!! I guess they assumed that since Janet Reno served as the Protector General of the organized criminal enterprise known as the Clinton Regime, every other AG worked the same way. Hardly, but it shows how the Left projects their sins on everyone.

As for the idea that Hillary! and Obama being a slam dunk to win, doesn't that fly in the face of conventional liberal dogmas that America is so racist, sexist and bigoted that they'd never vote for a woman or a black, no matter how criminal they are in their land deals or vacuous in their credentials? I think it does. If these two were to win power, it would be because the Stupid Party was unable to find a principled candidate to run against them and/or the Treason Media ran an exemplary smear campaign against them.

While it would be a disaster for America (and Western Civilization in general) as they Obama gladly claimed the White House for his terrorist pals like Kim Jong Il and Aquavelvashad (sp?) or Hillary! blamed the nuking of Chicago on the VRWC, them would be the breaks of the voters were so unserious that they treated their Presidential vote with less care than their "American Idol" picks.

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS: A couple more strikes against the AP's panty-moistening Hillary!/Obama Nightmare Team are the word that Fidel Castro - the totalitarian dictator that Dems worship most - thinks they're the winning ticket and the "Driving Miss Hillary!" subtext the ticket would connote. Add in Chris Rock's thoughts on why Colin Powell would never be picked for Veep - because some brotha would shoot the President - and that's another strike against the feckless and clueless GQ cover boy.

4 Kittens + 1 Coke Box = CUTENESS OVERLOAD!!!

Awwwwwwwww...

Kittens-Coca Cola Box - The funniest home videos are here

BOOM!!! Goes The China Airlines Plane!

Yikes!



Miraculously, no one was killed. Read more about it here.

If You Remember The Atari 2600, You'll Appreciate This

Relive the days when videogame controllers had one knob/stick and one button with whatever image you want with this handy label maker. Here's one I made:



Such fun on a Friday night.

Sweet Sweetwater.

With the rise of e-commerce and shopping on teh Intarwebs, the idea of customer service has gone the way of having people come out and pump your gas, check the oil and wash your windows. We click and shop impersonally, finding the best deals, tapping in our credit card info and waiting for the FedEx/UPS/DHL guy to drop it off at the ranch.

I wanted to pick up the new Tracktion 3 recording software and since it was about the same price all around, decided to by from Sweetwater.com, a big-name pro audio outfit that occasionally sent me catalogs. I signed up for some newsletter and catalogs and was surprised to get a personalized note from a HUMAN BEING asking if I was looking to buy anything. I had a couple of queries and they answered them.

Now, I could've just gone to the site and punched in the usual stuff, but decided to call the toll-free number and talk to this bloke. When I mentioned how I was surprised at the personal touch, he said that they wanted to have customers dealing with their own personal rep. He mentioned that he used to run a studio and that if I had any questions about using my purchase to give them a call.

Sure, they'll try to sell me some stuff, but isn't that what sales people are there for? The difference is that they seem to know their stuff and were nice. I once had to cancel some service and the girl on the phone was so polite and friendly, I felt like I was drowning her pet kitten for dropping whatever it was. She didn't try to change my mind or have a 'tude - she was genuinely sweet. It stands out to this day because it's such a rarity.

The only problem with dealing with people is that there were a couple of points where errors in the shipping address almost slipped in. If I was typing it in, it would've been fine and that's a weak link that I'm not crazy about along with giving my CC # to a person and not a SSL-secured browser, so caveat emptor. I'll report an further dealings I have with them.

===========

UPDATE: [sigh] Just as I feared, no sooner do I post this item that I get the receipt e-mail for my order and see that they misspelled the destination street of "Executive" as "Exuctive". I sent back a correction, but I hope they can fix it. Nice people. Not so hot on the spelling.

===========

UPPITY-UPDATE: The package arrived without a hitch and I was surprised to find they'd put some loose CANDY in the shipping box! Atomic Fireballs, butterscotch discs and a Smarties. Wow. Good prices, no sales tax, free shipping, nice sales help and FREE CANDY!!!!

Feed Me, Dirk! FEED ME!!!

When I switched over the template for Dirkworld® to the new style Blogger was offering, a lot of the extras I had, like the hit counter and RSS feed link, got nuked in the move and I've finally gotten around to patching them back in.

Since updates can either be five items per day or once every couple of weeks, it's impractical to expect you kind readers to constantly check back in hopes of some new bon mot has been posted, so please avail yourselves of the 21st Century spiffiness of news feeds and hit the link to let the news come to you.

I had gotten so many new sites I wanted to follow, I had to add a 2nd tab to my customized Google home page and move the tech stuff off to that. Hope that y'all find some spare pixels on your page to park the Paul Review Signature Model™ feed from here. Thank you.

BTW, if the feed-adding thing doesn't work, drop a comment in the Backtalks section so that I can look into it. Thanks.

Hey, Kids! Cheaters ALWAYS Win!!! (Right, Barry?)

I've always wondered why parents tell their children patently untrue things in an effort to keep them on the straight and narrow; to make them better citizens or some such rot.

My favorite example of a truism at odds with reality has been "Cheaters never win." It's meant to impart the concept that a victory attained by dishonest means is not a true accomplishment and that they should strive to succeed honestly in order to be able to truly savor the accomplishment.

What a load of hooey.

Barry Bonds just hit his 756th home run a little while ago. Note that I phrased it that way instead of the way it'll be written up in tomorrow's papers: BONDS BREAKS AARON'S HR RECORD! That was a deliberate commentary via proper word selection.

Now, there is no one who doesn't think that Bonds didn't use life-threatening levels of steroids and other performance enhancing methods to hit this mark. (Babe Ruth was drunk, not juiced. If anything, he could've hit more runs if he was sober.) To celebrate this as anything other than another nail in the coffin for professional sports - since they're now little more than pro wrestling in matching uniforms - would be pathetic.

Whether it's crooked, Mobbed-up basketball refs; dogfighting QBs; or 'roided-up cheaters, sports are a multi-billion-dollar whorehouse that siphons fortunes in municipal monies to fund the stadiums for these millionaire mutants to wage their gladiatorial exhibitions within. Civic pride hinges on sports titles, not safe neighborhoods or quality schools. Detroit was just named the #1 Sports City by the Sporting News, even with the gawdawful Lions skewing the curve. Sure, everything else sucks about the town. At least the fans can wave their foam fingers with pride about something, right?

Kids aren't stupid; they pick up on the hypocrisies of their elders and as Bonds is feted as King Baseball, they'll learn what their parents were trying to disabuse them of taking to heart...

Cheaters. ALWAYS. Win.

What's the point of cheating if it didn't pay off somehow? Duh. Cheaters cheat to win and when they get away with it, it makes all the cheating worthwhile.

Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig should've gotten to the bottom of the BALCO business and either cleared or banned Bonds before it came to this moment. A nice big f*cking asterisk would be a start, but won't be enough to erase the stigma and shame Bonds will carry for eternity as many will refuse to pretend that he is worthy of honor.

Meanwhile, kids everywhere will put down their Wheaties spoons and load up their syringes with HGH. If it's good enough for Barry...

=============

UPDATE: Given her history of criminal enterprise, should it be a surprise that Nancy Pelosi said:

"Tonight, Barry Bonds etched his name into baseball's history books and took his rightful place among sport's immortals. It was a great night for baseball and a great night for San Francisco..."

Better living through chemistry, indeed.

The NY Post puts it in a more proper perspective:

Monday Morning Coffee

Yikes!!! Two days in a row?!? Yeep!!!!

A GATHERING OF WHITE MEN: That's how the WaPo characterizes the Yearly Kos convention where pandering Dem candidates go to pander to unhinged moonbats. Sez da Post:

"It's mostly white. More male than female," says the former high school math and science teacher turned activist. "It's not very diverse."

Walking around McCormick Place during the weekend, it became clear that only a handful of the 1,500 conventioneers -- bloggers, policy experts, party activists -- are African American, Latino or Asian. Of about 100 scheduled panels and workshops, less than a half-dozen dealt directly with women or minority issues.

You mean that liberals - who are all about paying lip service to the oppressed and downtrodden - are mostly the very oppressors they accuse on-liberals of being?

Duh.

CASINO ROYALE W/CHEESE: Finally got around to watching this last night and while the action scenes were crazy, the story itself was both dull and confusing. You never really get involved in what's happening and the twists are pretty obvious. Daniel Craig doesn't work for me, either; he should be remaking Steve McQueen's oeuvre.

SUNDAY MORNING BLAH-BLAH-WOOF-WOOF: For a party that's routinely smeared as theocrats, how the Stupid Party decided holding a debate on a Sunday - the Lord's day, i.e. a day of rest - morning when people would be either sleeping or at church shows they obviously aren't that rigorous in their fervor.

OBAMA STILL NOT READY FOR PRIME TIME: This empty suit really doesn't have a clue, does he? He was against the Iraq War but has been trying to act tough by threatening to invade Pakistan. The locals aren't too happy about this. Dude isn't even elected and he's already getting the world to hate us. Isn't this the reason they say Dubya should be crucified?

DIRK'S DISH DU JOUR: I don't think she's THAT hot, but she was in "Casino Royale", not too brutal on the eyes, and I haven't done one of these in ages; so Eva Green catches a break. She's welcome.

Ever Hear of "Alms For Jihad"? (You Probably Won't.)

I've been noticing some items about some book called "Alms For Jihad" that details how Muslim humanitarian agencies are actually front groups for funding of terrorism by Islamofascists. I regularly drive by the office building one of these "charity" outfits operated and another joint was busted a few miles from my work in Dearbornistan. Of course, the usual suspects make the usual cries of racism and persecution, but what else is new?

Anyway, this book is apparently being recalled by the publisher under threat of legal action by an extremely wealthy and connected Saudi oligarch who has the resources to sue anyone he wishes out of existence. Or the books they publish. Super mack daddy Mark Steyn writes of this in his colum "The vanishing jihad exposés" and it opens with:

How will we lose the war against "radical Islam"?

Well, it won't be in a tank battle. Or in the Sunni Triangle or the caves of Bora Bora. It won't be because terrorists fly three jets into the Oval Office, Buckingham Palace and the Basilica of St Peter's on the same Tuesday morning.

The war will be lost incrementally because we are unable to reverse the ongoing radicalization of Muslim populations in South Asia, Indonesia, the Balkans, Western Europe and, yes, North America. And who's behind that radicalization? Who funds the mosques and Islamic centers that in the past 30 years have set up shop on just about every Main Street around the planet?

For the answer, let us turn to a fascinating book called "Alms for Jihad: Charity And Terrorism in the Islamic World," by J. Millard Burr, a former USAID relief coordinator, and the scholar Robert O Collins. Can't find it in your local Barnes & Noble? Never mind, let's go to Amazon. Everything's available there...Unfortunately, if you then try to buy "Alms for Jihad," you discover that the book is "Currently unavailable. We don't know when or if this item will be back in stock." Hang on, it was only published last year....not many books from 2006 are entirely unavailable with no restock in sight.

Steyn fills in some more blanks before closing with a sobering assessment that will be no surprise to anyone who read "America Alone":

We've gotten used to one-way multiculturalism: The world accepts that you can't open an Episcopal or Congregational church in Jeddah or Riyadh, but every week the Saudis can open radical mosques and madrassahs and pro-Saudi think-tanks in London and Toronto and Dearborn, Mich., and Falls Church, Va. And their global reach extends a little further day by day, inch by inch, in the lengthening shadows, as the lights go out one by one around the world.

Suppose you've got a manuscript about the Saudis. Where are you going to shop it? Think Cambridge University Press will be publishing anything anytime soon?

Where are the liberals who would be shrieking and filling their diapers if this was a book bashing Christian charities that was pulled under pressure from a rich Christian? (As if such a thing would happen. Sometimes the weirdness of the Left is such that you can't even find an antonym that doesn't sound ridiculous on its face.)

We know about Paris and Lindsey and Nicole and a whole lot of other meaningless stuff, but when it comes time to follow the money on the financing of our way of life and our civilization....PFFFTTT! Who cares? People spent $12 million on effing "Underdog" this weekend, but wouldn't have a chance to spend $12 (or whatever) on "Alms For Jihad" if they wanted.

If this book is destined to be tossed down the Memory Hole, then it MUST be set free on the Internet for people to read. Don't give me the argument that it's copyright infringement and robs the authors and publishers - there isn't going to be any money made; the sheik has seen to that - so let's cut the crap and get it out there. I've seen that there are concerns about the accuracy of some parts but the Blogosphere can fisk and flag what's not true instead of letting the errors moot the greater whole.

A Guide To Politically-Correct Bathroom Etiquette.

Michelle Malkin had this video by Mary Katherine Ham posted and it's cute and funny. Speaking of cute, isn't Mary just so? Yep, she is.



As I commented at Malkin's place:

No wonder conservatives are happier: Our bloggers are cuter with sunny dispositions and the ability to make political points in a humorous manner.

Liberals are shrill, bitter, angry, UGLY, noise machines of rage and bile and they wonder why no one wants to listen to their shows or read their blogs.

Reagan smiled. We can win with mocking humor. :)

Indeed.

Question For The Left: Must EVERYTHING Be About Your BDS?

Liberals are consumed by Bush Derangement Syndrome. They can't stop mentioning how much they hate him and those who voted for him. You know how comedians always drop a mention of how they're Jewish, even if it's apropos of nothing - Why do I always get stuck behind the dumb guy at airport screening? I'm Jewish, but I don't feel the need to bring my silverware along. What's up with Lindsey Lohan? My Jewish mother would scold her." - that's how liberals are about their BDS and need to share with the class.

I was reading a computer gaming magazine last week and one guy mentioned a few times that when he had to deal with red and blue teams, he made sure to screw over the red ones and how stupid he thought the President was. It was his way of pronouncing the BDS shibboleth to all who read him. "I hate Bush, too. I'm one of you."

What brings this up is Stephanie Zacharek's review of "The Bourne Ultimatum" at Salon. The third in the Matt Damon - I'll wait while you "Team America" fans say it out loud - action series opens today and her review opens with this:

Jason Bourne, in theory, could be George W. Bush's dream historian, a loyal foot soldier who has been conditioned to obey and serve but whose mind has been broken and reconfigured to conveniently forget certain details and fixate on others. You couldn't find a better candidate to sit down and write a glowing record of the W. presidency. It would be a masterpiece of selective memory -- except for the fact that Jason Bourne insists on trying to use even the parts of his brain that don't work.

What the f*ck is that about? People looking for a movie review have to wade through this twit's yawp of partisan rage before discussion of the cinematic product can commence. It's bad enough that you've got to sit through commercials at the theater; now you have to sit through the reading of some critic's political grievances before you learn whether the movie is worth the time?

Later, she burps up this:

Maybe guys like Greengrass should be reserved only for serious pictures about serious subjects, movies like "Bloody Sunday" and "United 93" (the latter a picture whose mere existence I have problems with, as much as I respect Greengrass' technique and approach).

She doesn't explain as to WHY she has a problem with the movie. Does she believe that showing America's first response to jihadi terror is not useful because it gives others the idea that fighting back is better than bowing to the sword of Islamofascism? Does she disagree with what's shown, since her fellow travelers believe the plane was shot down by Dick Cheney himself in his Sith TIE fighter? Who cares as long as she gets her BDS rocks off, right?

Friday Morning Coffee...Wha? Wait! Friday Morning Coffee?!?!?

Yep. I've got a huge stack of stuff I'd love to expound upon at length, but I'm too busy to do anything but this. You're welcome.

MINNEAPOLIS BRIDGE IS FALLING DOWN, FALLING DOWN...: In the wake of this tragedy, I was not sure if it would be scarier that Al Queda may have been involved or that they weren't and this is more shoddy governmentally-contracted infrastructure work. The Left is trying to blame the War to Save Western Civilization From Islamofascism - ugh, that's wordy, albeit accurate - for diverting money away from providing union jobs building crappy bridges. Nevermind that our roads and bridges have been crumbling forever, including during the Clinton Regime when we were pretending we weren't under attack, this is all Dubya's fault!! And global warming!!!! Yeah!!! Pffft.

FILE UNDER "SELF-DISCREDITING MEMES": I've written before about the specious whining of the Left over about Team Dubya has chilled speech and turned America into a totalitarian state. Ignoring the rank projection of their wishes for unchecked power upon others, the fact that all we ever hear about in the press is how they can't say their American-hating, BDS piece, yet never seem to get "disappeared" in the night, provides enough irony to allow one to eliminate spinach from their diet.

Hugh Hewitt notices this disconnect in an E.J. Dionne encomium to Head Moonbat Kos and flagged it as such:

Moulitsas, 35, created his Daily Kos Web site on May 26, 2002 -- "in those dark days," as his site puts it, "when an oppressive and war-crazed administration suppressed all dissent as unpatriotic and treasonous." Daily Kos took off because so many Democrats shared Moulitsas's view of the second President Bush.

Got that? DailyKos has thrived because all dissent has been suppressed. Of course, you have to remember that they make up their own meanings for words that are unrelated to what standard dictionaries say. They're kind of like Norm Crosby if he wanted to be a dictator.

THE SILKY PONY'S ENDLESS HYPOCRISY: John Edwards pees sitting down, much like John Mayer. First he has to send his terminally-ill wife, Elizabeth, out to attack Ann Coulter and others who are mean to him. Then he tries to copy RFK's rich-dude-visits-po'-folk tour and even the Treason Media says he's ridiculous. (If he were to write his autobiography, "Profiles in Lack of Testicular Fortitude" is a leading title candidate.)

Lately, he's been the leading surrender monkey pandering to the Kos Kidz to force his fellow Dems from debating on the Fox News Channel because, well, because they're terrified of being asked a question that will reveal their dishonesty and lack of intellectual rigor. Malkin had a story about Edwards bashing Hillary! for taking $20,000 in bribes, er, contributions from News Corp. officials. Now comes word that he was paid at least $800,000 by Harper-Collins - which is owned by dum-dum-DUM!!! NEWS CORP!!! Aiieeeee!!!! - for some book. (Funny how the Murdoch-owned NY Post busts him on it.)

Edwards claimed $333,334 in royalties from last year's release of the book, according to media accounts. The campaign said last night that those funds were part of the advance.

He says he gave that amount to charity, which would also provide tax benefits for Edwards. "We're more than happy to give even more of Murdoch's money to Habitat for Humanity and other good causes," spokesman Eric Schultz told The Post yesterday.

He declined to show proof, however, that Edwards had donated the $500,000 advance or $300,000 expense checks to charity.

Hypocrisy and greed. Or what Johnny boy calls "Friday."

Why am I thinking of "Werewolves of London" when I see this picture?

OBAMA'S MISSTEPS SHOW HE'S NOT READY FOR PRIME TIME: Barack Obama - or Barack HUSSEIN Obama as Coulter calls him - has said a couple of really stupid things in the past week. First he said at the silly YouTube/CNN debate he'd tour the world to kiss the rings of every thug dictator who'd receive him in his first year of office. Now he's promising not to use nukes, which kind of reduces their threatening cachet with our enemies. How naive and callow are these gaffes? Hillary! is pounding him over them and sounding like Patton compared to the rest of the Surrendercrats she's allied with.

Obama and Edwards need to drop out of the race. They could open a business together that would trade on their innate traits: EMPTY SUIT WAREHOUSE!!!

SHE'S JUST A DHIMMI: Gwen Stefani - who really needs to get back with No Doubt and send the Harajuku girls over to my place - is touring Asia and her date at Kuala Lumpur is being protested by the local members of the Religion of Perptual Outrage, er, PEACE (yeah, that's the ticket) because she's not tented enough for their tastes. Not wanting to forego money or, I dunno, STAND UP FOR WOMEN'S RIGHTS, Gwen has decided to bow before the sword of Islam and comport herself like a good dhimmi.

To recap, this is Gwen Stefani under what we're told by the Left is an intolerant, repressive, sex-fearing, misogynist, theocratic, fascist regime here in America:



And this is Gwen under the kind auspices of Condi and Dubya's Religion of Peace and Love:



Any questions? Still want to surrender the war against Islamofascism? Call your Congressman now!

FRIDAY FIVER: 1. What is your local lake/river/sea?

Detroit River/Lake St. Clair

2. Do you believe in dragons and unicorns?

Who are you? Stevie Nicks?

3. What is your favorite fruit?

Elton J...oh...um, apples, I guess. Grapes are nice, too.

4. Do you smoke?

No, but I am SSSSSSSSSSMOKIN'!!!! Har har!

5. Friday fill-in: Together they would _____ .

Not be apart?

Boy, this was a lame quiz this week. :-\